Endless Diamond Sky
by come.josephine.95
Summary: In the fall of 2010, Rose DeWitt Bukater is due to make her grand entrance into New York society. Jack Dawson is struggling to make ends meet by selling sketches in Central Park. When they meet in New York City, and Jack and Rose make it count?
1. Caged Bird

Endless Diamond Sky

**_Summary:_ **_In the fall of 2010, Rose DeWitt Bukater is due to make her grand entrance into New York society. Jack Dawson is struggling to make ends meet by selling sketches in Central Park. The two were never supposed to meet, but anything can happen in New York City. When worlds collide, can Jack and Rose find a way to make it count?_

Chapter One

The Penthouse Suite,

#400 East 67th Street

Rose peered out her window onto a gorgeous view of Central Park, just like she did every morning. There were always children running around and chasing after each other, people walking their dogs, teenagers playing football, older couples walking hand in hand... just regular, every day people. How she longed to be one of them, but just the view of the city from 17 storeys above the ground reminded her that she could never be the same as them.

On a Saturday morning, most of the people in Manhattan were out at the museums, or hanging around Central Park or Times Square. Not Rose. Rose was getting ready to go to her weekly cotillion lessons, which she had attended since she was eleven, all to prepare her for her grand introduction to society in a week's time. Ever since she was a baby, Rose's mother had dreamed of her daughter's first debutante season. Rose herself had been dreading it since she knew what it was.

Turning away from the window with a heavy sigh, Rose sat down in front of her vanity mirror and started to put on her make-up. She'd never really liked the stuff at all- it felt like icing smeared all over her face- but at the insistence of her mother, she'd worn it every day since the seventh grade. Now that she was seventeen, she probably would have worn a little bit of mascara and concealer, but it wasn't really something she'd ever had the chance to even consider. Every day she wore foundation, blush, mascara, lip gloss, eyeliner, and, worst of all, pink eye shadow. She didn't really understand why it had to be pink, but that was what her mother insisted upon, so that was what she did.

Five years of practice at anything was enough to make you almost an expert, and it took Rose less than three minutes to do the entire shebang. Gazing at her reflection in the mirror, she was confused and hurt by what she saw. A beautiful face, no doubt, but it was trapped behind the facade of a nigh society debutante. That wasn't what Rose wanted to be. Her long, flowing red curls were pulled off her face by a thin hairband with a huge silver flower on it. It was really a horribly tacky, ugly thing. Rose was truly very fond of her hair. In fact, she thought it was her best feature. She just wished she could let it down and feel the wind flowing through it. She'd never felt that before.

Rose got up from her chair just as her mother burst into her room.

"Darling, please tell me you're ready to go. Your lesson is in a half an hour and you never know how traffic's going to be."

"Don't worry, Mother," Rose said serenely. "I'm ready."

For some reason unbeknownst to Rose, her mother refused to ever take the subway. It was something about germs and common city folk, but taking a taxi everywhere seemed like the hugest waste of time imaginable. Then again, her mother was never really one for sensibility. Ruth DeWitt Bukater enjoyed doing anything to prove that she and her daughter weren't like everyone else in New York City.

"Now, Rose," her mother began to say as they stepped into the elevator that would take them down to the lobby. Rose dreaded hearing those words, because they were always followed by some sort of lecture. "I understand that you don't know why I am still making you attend cotillion lessons, considering how you feel you know everything there is to know about etiquette. However, I'm sure I've told you countless times about Mr Caledon Hockley and how he has expressed interested in marrying you."

Rose rolled her eyes at the fact that her mother never spoke like a normal person, for one, and also at the mention of Mr Hockley. Having grown up in the world of elite society, Rose had thought she understood its ways and that there were no surprises left. Apparently, though, someone had neglected to tell her that arranged marriages were not just a thing of the past. It appeared that now she was facing one herself, and to and man she'd only met twice in her life.

Ruth continued her lecture as she and her daughter stepped out of the elevator. "I have arranged a meeting for the three of us over dinner in three days time. Although I myself am confident that you have learned all you can from years of cotillion lessons, I ensure you that no man will be impressed with a seventeen-year-old girl who does not attend them. So I would like you to please not pout and carry on whenever it's time to go, alright, darling?"

To be honest, Rose wasn't quite sure what her mother was talking about. Sure, this morning she'd moaned a bit about getting out of bed, because the covers were just so warm and seven in the morning was so early for a Saturday. So yes, she had muttered something incoherent and taken perhaps two minutes to stretch before getting out of bed, but it was hardly what she'd call pouting.

She wanted to say all of that to her mother and more, but she didn't. She never had and she probably never would. She wanted to say that she didn't want to marry Cal Hockley; that she hated cotillion lessons and make-up and ballroom dancing and dresses; that she wanted to go to university or maybe run away to California to become an actress. The last thing she wanted to do was get married as soon as she graduated and spend the rest of her life making babies that she would raise in the same lifestyle she'd been brought up in, in a penthouse suite in Manhattan... but she didn't.

"Okay, Mother."

That was all she could think say. Her mother really didn't care what Rose wanted- she just wanted Rose to redeem her family's honour after her father had thrown it all away to drinking and gambling. In the end, it had been the drinking that killed him...

Rose didn't like to think about that. She and her mother were outside now, waiting for a cab. The September air wasn't quite cold yet, but a slight chill crawled up Rose's legs because her mother believed that only skirts were appropriate to be worn to cotillion lessons. While it was true that the other girls rarely wore pants, Rose didn't really care what the other girls wore. Wasn't she her own person, after all?

As she and Ruth climbed into the open door of a yellow taxi, Rose was truly disgusted with herself. She was seventeen years old; not a baby. Not a helpless little toddling thing that had to follow her mother everywhere she went if she had any hope of survival. No; she was a strong and independent woman with a personality as fiery as her hair. Or at least that was how she saw herself inside her head. But now, as she sat in the back of a stupid cab on the way to stupid manner lessons so that she could marry stupid Cal, that was exactly how she felt- stupid.

_**Okay, so I know this is really short, but they will get longer, I PROMISE. :D **_


	2. The Luckiest Guy in the World

Chapter Two

Central Park

New York City

The little girl who was jumping up and down excitedly at the sight of a polar bear in Central Park Zoo seemed to flow right from the real world onto Jack's drawing paper. Her mass of brown curls bobbed up and down with her as she looked up at a man who was probably her father and pointed at the bears, proving to him that even when his own life sucked hard, there was still beauty and joy in the world.

"What's wrong, _mia amico_?" his friend Fabrizio asked.

Jack sighed, brushing his dirty blond hair out of his eyes. "Well, looks like the landlord upped the rent on my apartment again, so I gotta find a way to make a little bit of extra cash."

For what seemed like the millionth time in the last month, Jack Dawson was struggling to make ends meet. He'd lived on his own in New York City since he was fifteen, and he'd never tricked himself into believing that that was any sort of easy task. Still, it would be a heck of a lot easier if the stupid landlord could decide on a rate for rent and leave it there.

Fabrizio rolled his eyes at his friend, looking exasperated. "I tell you Jack, you come and live with _mia famiglia._ Mama take care of you, she already have six. One more is no big deal."

"Fabri," Jack said tiredly, "your mom doesn't need another mouth to feed. She's got enough on her hands. I'll find a way to make things work; don't you worry." If he'd said it once, he'd said it a thousand times. Mr DeRossi worked a part-time job at some sort of factory and Mrs DeRossi hadn't worked a day in her life and didn't have a penny to her name. Somehow they managed to take care of their six children, and it was a little bit easier now that Fabrizio could find some quick jobs once in a while, but the children ranged in age from nine to 20, and the last thing they needed was another person to support. Jack had managed to look after himself for five years, and somehow he'd continue to do just that.

"That's a nice picture you draw," Fabrizio noted. "How come you no sell it?"

Jack studied the charcoal drawing on his lap. It was, admittedly, very good, but he could never sell it. In fact, he'd intended to find a non-awkward way to give it to the little girl. He sold most of the pictures he drew, and that was pretty much how he made his living, but every so often he came across a subject that he had a soft spot for- that he wanted to keep in his heart forever. This little girl was one of them.

He didn't bother to answer his friend's question. He wasn't in the mood for talking just now. He stared at the little girl, running around so happily, gazing with wonder at the animals in front of her. She couldn't have been more than six or seven. Something about her complete and total happiness pulled at Jack's heartstrings. For some reason, he was completely drawn to her. He wanted to protect her from all of the bad things in the world... to run up to her and grab her by the shoulders and say, 'The world is a beautiful and happy place if you choose to make it that way. No matter what happens, stay in school and listen to your parents and always, always, try to make each day count because you never know when it's going to be your last.'

Without even thinking about it, Jack rose from his seat on the bench and walked across the lawn to where the little girl was standing.

"Eh, Jack!" Fabrizio called. "Where you going?"

When he was only a few paces away from the little girl, a strong breeze picked up and knocked her hat off her head. Perfect, he thought.

"Excuse me, Miss," he said quietly as the little girl whipped her head around to chase after her hat. Her mass of curls got all caught up in her eyes and mouth, making her sputter.

Jack smiled. "I think you dropped this."

The girl stood no taller than his waist, and he crouched down onto her level so that he could look her in the eyes properly. She blushed a little bit, though Jack had no idea why. He extended his hand out and then girl took her hat back but didn't place it on her head.

"Thanks," she murmured quietly, as though she couldn't really think of anything else to say. Around her, leaves painted all the colours of autumn stirred softly on the ground.

"I'm Jack," he said, putting his hand out for the little girl to shake.

Smiling shyly, she replied, "I'm Cora. Thanks for saving my hat."

"You're welcome, Cora," Jack said. "So, ever had a picture drawn of you?"

Cora shook her head. She was such an innocent, shy little thing. Her thin fingers tightened their grip on her hat- one of those wool beret things that little girls wore.

"Well, would you like one?"

Her face lit up like a million shining stars at the idea. "Ooh, I'd love one. I've never had one before," she reiterated, although Jack figured she probably hadn't realized that bit. He reached into the worn, leather book that held all of his drawings and pulled out the one of the little girl named Cora, handing it to her with a boyish smile on his face.

Cora's smile grew even brighter when she saw the charcoal sketch, reaching her big brown eyes. "That's so beautiful, Jack!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe you did that. Can I keep it?"

Laughing, Jack said, "It's yours," just as the man he'd seen before walked up behind Cora and placed his hand on her shoulder. He eyed Jack, who still knelt in front of Cora, but there was no suspicion or anger in his eyes. Thank God. Jack could easily see how someone might not like a strange young man talking to a little girl in Central Park.

"Uncle Tommy," Cora exclaimed, "look at this! This man's name is Jack. He drew it of me while I was looking at the polar bears!"

Jack rose so that he was at eye level with the man Cora had referred to as Tommy. He was a little bit shorter than Jack, but bigger and probably stronger. He had a sort of tired look about his face, as though he'd worked for harder than anyone his age should have to. His eyes were happy and smiling though, and in a way he reminded Jack of himself.

He extended his hand to Jack. "Tommy Ryan," he said. "This is my niece, Cora."

Shaking it, Jack said, "Jack Dawson. I was just watching your niece here looking at the polar bears, and it seemed like a perfect thing to put on paper."

Tommy beamed down proudly at his niece, as though they were all each other had in the world. Jack hoped it wasn't so. Although Cora clearly adored her uncle, and vice versa, he had had to learn the hard that no one could replace your parents. Quickly, Jack refocused his attention on Cora and Tommy. He didn't let his mind go there, back to those places...

"Yeah," Tommy said. "She's quite the cutie, ain't she?"

Jack nodded, looking Cora right in the eyes. She was one of those kids; the ones you always wanted to feel happy, no matter what.

"Very much so," he replied. Cora smiled at this, but she couldn't help turning a million shades of red.

"Thanks," she said simply. She appeared to be enamoured with Jack, because she couldn't take her little eyes off him, but other than that youthful mistake, she knew well enough, even at her young age, not to let that show.

Giving his niece's shoulder a squeeze, Tommy turned to Jack and asked, "So, what brings you here this morning?"

Jack shrugged. He really didn't like to tell people about his life, especially because most people found it to be horribly inadequate. While it was true that people like him, and even worse off, were all too common in New York City, and that most of the wealthier folk were sympathetic to them, admitting that he had no job or any real material possessions to his name wasn't something that had ever been easy for Jack.

"Trying to make a penny, I guess," he explained. "Just like everybody else. Usually I just sit in that bench over there and sell sketches for ten cents apiece. It's not much, but so far it's worked for me."

Tommy didn't respond at first. He seemed hesitant, as though he wanted to know more about Jack's background, but didn't feel comfortable asking. Which, to be frank, suited Jack right down to the ground, because he didn't like to tell people how he'd gotten to where he was now. It wasn't really any of their business. The only person who knew anything about the life before he'd dropped out of school in the tenth grade- the life where his parents were alive- was Fabrizio, and even he only knew the bare minimum. When Jack was first out on his own, he let Fabri in on just enough so that there were no holes in the story, but only that and no more. Some things were personal. The silence between him and Tommy was getting uncomfortable for both of them.

"Umm," Tommy said slowly, as though he was looking for a way to put a thought into words. Jack stared intently a tree just to the left of Tommy's head, so that it seemed as though he was sort of looking him in the eyes. "Uh... Jack, I don't really know how to ask this, and its okay if yer all offended and whatnot, but, well, I know you don't know me and you've got no reason ter trust me and all..."

The tree behind Tommy's head hadn't started to turn orange yet; maybe a little bit in the stems, but not the leafy parts. Jack kept his visual focus on the tree, but couldn't help listening hard to what Tommy was saying. His lilting Irish accent made his voice easy to just... listen to. It was impossible to be bothered by him.

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "Here's the thing. Me brother-in-law, Cora's father, he manages an art gallery downtown, Heller, I think it's called. Now, this is where I'm worryin that ye might be offended, but hear me out. Bert- that's Cora's da- he's been sayin how they need a new night custodian or something like that. The pay's alright, eleven bucks an hour, but here's what I'm thinkin. So, if you take this job, Mr Dawson, since it's an art gallery an' all, maybe some big shot there'll see them drawings you do. Cause they're good."

Jack didn't know what to say. He'd loved art ever since he could remember, even before he knew he was any good. His parents had wanted him to go to art school when he grew up. They'd always told him that as far as art went, New York was the place to be. And they'd been right. To be honest, as great as it would have been to have his stuff displayed in some gallery, that wasn't going to happen. As far as that went, Tommy was out of his ever loving mind. But just being around art all the time... and getting paid for it on top of it all... it was just too much to even imagine.

"Wow... I- I don't know what to say," he muttered. He really didn't. Here was this complete stranger, not judging him, not looking down on him... just offering him another shot at life. What was he supposed to say?

"Well, maybe you should say yes!" That interjection came from Cora, who had been pretty much silent thus far, but must have recognized the need to speak up at that moment. Jack decided right then and there that Cora was going to grow up to be a very intelligent and strong little girl.

He couldn't say no to her. "Well, I guess... I guess I'd love that!" Jack exclaimed. "Umm, should we meet sometimes to talk about it? Cause sorry, but my buddy's waiting for me, and I should really be getting back to him."

Tommy smiled broadly at Jack. His bright expression was echoed by his niece. "Umm, yeah, that sounds great. Why don't you meet us at the Dunkin Donuts on East 43rd tomorrow? Joe will want you to start as soon as possible, if that's alright with you."

Normally, Jack wouldn't even consider stopping at Dunkin Donuts- the money just wasn't there, as far as those things went. But hey, he was a working man now! Coffee couldn't cost that much, could it?

His smile was a good bit brighter than it had been only a few minutes ago as he said, "That sounds great." Not really knowing what to do with himself, he sort of started to walk away while still facing Tommy and Cora. He said goodbye and waved quickly, noticing that Cora was waving back at him enthusiastically. She was one hell of a cute kid.

As he made his way back over to the bench where Fabrizio was still waiting for him, he still had a huge, goofy smile painted on his face.

"Eh, _mia amico_, what's going on?"

"God, Fabri, you're never gonna believe this," Jack began as he sat down next to his old friend. He couldn't wait to tell his friend all about the new life that had just been turned over in his life. Right at that moment, Jack Dawson felt like the luckiest guy in the world.


	3. My Best Girl

Chapter Three

Dunkin Donuts

East 43rd Street

Jack had to admit- he was nervous. There was absolutely no reason to be, and yet he was. Tommy Ryan was one of the most relaxed guys he'd ever met, and it wasn't like this was an official job interview with an employer or anything, but still. It was the biggest chance of his life. This morning he'd done his best to put together a presentable outfit. After twenty minutes of rummaging through his closet, he'd finally managed to find a leather jacket he hadn't worn since he was about seventeen. It was a little bit worn on the elbows, but hey, it was better than the white t-shirt he wore almost every day. Oh no, the jacket would go _over_ the white t-shirt! Just that idea in itself reminded him how exciting this opportunity was for him.

As he opened the door to Dunkin Donuts, a little bell sounded to announce his regal presence to the faithful populace. Heck, maybe someday he really would be the king of the world, what with this whole job thing starting to work itself out.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw a wild tangle of dark curls spring up from the corner of the coffee shop and run in his direction. Evidently, Cora had heard the bell.

"Jack!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his waist. "You came! You really came!"

Wondering what in the world he'd done to earn this little girl's admiration, Jack wrapped his arms around her waist and patting her on the back.

"Well, if it isn't my best girl! Of course I came," he said reassuringly. "Why wouldn't I?"

Cora shrugged just as her uncle approached her from behind. Cora seemed to spend a lot of time with her uncle, and Jack was interested in learning why. She evidently lived with her father and presumably her mother, and yet she spent her weekends in downtown New York with her mother's brother. Those moments... long afternoons in the Central Park Zoo, running in the wind and spending hours gazing at the animals... those were moments that Jack just couldn't understand any parent willingly missing. Tommy evidently cared deeply for her, which was good, but growing up with your parents in your life was important. Really important.

"I told ya, Cora," he said to the little girl with a laugh, then looked up at Jack. They stood almost at eye level with each other, although Jack was a bit taller. "She talked my ear of about ye all the way home yesterday, and as soon as I came to pick her up this morning she started up again. It was like all she knew how to say was 'I can't wait to see Jack again! Is he really gonna be there tomorrow? He's so nice!' " Tommy's imitation of Cora's high-pitched, little girl voice was almost spot on, and it made Jack throw his head back in laughter.

Leaning in towards Jack's ear, Tommy whispered, "I think she's got a wee bit of a thing for ye, to be honest."

Still laughing, Jack crouched down and lifted up Cora onto his hip. He looked her in the eye and said, "Well, aren't I quite the lucky guy then? Cause you're beautiful."

A light blush crept up the young girl's full cheeks. "You're so nice, Jack," she said, smiling ear-to-ear.

Still carrying Cora on his hip, Jack followed Tommy's lead to a booth in the back of the coffee shop.

"I ordered you a coffee; hope you don't mind," Tommy said.

"Not at all," Jack replied, reaching into his pocket. He had a job now; it was okay to spend a little bit of money. At a quick shake of Tommy's head, however, Jack took his hand out of his pocket and placed it on Cora's waist, sitting her down in the window seat of the booth. There was really no point in fighting it when someone volunteered to pay for something. They always seemed to win, which thus far had been perfectly fine with Jack.

"So," Tommy said, apparently eager to get down to business, "I had a little talk with me brother-in-law last night, and he said he'd be happy to hire you. I think his exact words were, 'At this point, I'd take anybody,' weren't they, Cora?"

Beaming, Cora nodded. "I told Daddy all about you, and he said that he can't wait for you to start working for him. Does that mean I'm going to see you every day?" she added as an afterthought.

Not wanting to lie to her, because Cora appeared to be the type of kid who never missed a trick, Jack thought about her question for a moment. "Well," he replied, "probably not every day, but at least once a week. Unless, of course, your uncle Tommy takes you to visit me sometimes."

The little girl looked up at her uncle expectantly, with big brown puppy-dog eyes. They way in which she held on to Jack's every word as though it was her only lifeline in the entire world was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. He'd never really been somebody's idol before. Okay, maybe idol wasn't the right word. First crush was probably a better term. Either way, it was a good feeling to know that you could make or break somebody's day.

Tommy laughed at his niece and stirred his coffee slowly. "We'll have to see about that later, Cora," he said. "But what I do want to talk about now is the whole job situation."

When he said it like that, it seemed like a bad thing. Not that he'd meant it that way or anything; it was just that Jack had never really been suppressed by rules before. It was the strangest feeling- just a moment ago he'd been over the moon; on top of the world, but within a second he felt sorely inadequate. Tommy's tone conveyed the side of the working life that he'd never really given any thought to before: the fact that he would have to play the game by somebody else's rules, or else risk losing everything. Life had never been like that for him before. What if he wasn't good enough?

"Umm, right..." he said slowly. He didn't even know what to say to that; whether to view Tommy as a friend or a boss or both or neither. In that moment he realized how little he really knew about anything. "So, what does this job entail?" Using big words was always good, wasn't it?

"Basically," Tommy explained, "you'd just have to clean up at night and make sure nobody breaks in. It's not terribly hard work, and it seems like the sort of thing you'd enjoy. Have you ever been to the Heller Gallery?"

Jack's past was something he was pretty proud of because it had made him the person he was today, but there were a lot of dark patches hidden back there that he'd rather not discuss, or even think about. In short, he had never been to any art gallery, ever, let alone the Heller gallery. In truth, he'd only vaguely even heard of it.

"I actually haven't," he said, trying to make it sound like, what with all the other things he'd done in his immensely busy life, he'd just never gotten the time.

Cora's face lit up like a thousand light bulbs at this revelation. "Jack!" she exclaimed. "Jack, I have to take you! Me and Uncle Tommy will take you right now, right? Right, Uncle Jack? Right?"

Tommy sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his coffee. Evidently it had been his plan all along to go with Jack and check out the gallery, but he clearly took a great amount of pleasure in teasing his niece.

"What do you think, Jack?" he asked casually. "Do you really want to go right now? Cause we can just stay here, if you'd rather do that."

Jack shrugged. "I wouldn't mind going, but if it's too much of a hassle for you..." Playing in to Tommy's mind game was just much too fun to pass up.

"It's not," Cora said simply. Her word was law, or at least it was law in her head. It had been a long time since Jack had really viewed the world through a child's eyes. He had no cousins, nieces or nephews, or even and teenage brothers or sisters. Over the last five years, his view on life had become optimistic but slightly cynical, the only way he could push through each day of trying to pay the bills without going hungry. He had to take things for what they were and never had the chance to be completely in awe of anything anymore. Cora was the person we wished he could still be. And considering she was like six, that was kind of sad.

"Well then," Tommy said, "I guess we best be off, then. Ready to see you future life, Jack?"

Not really, he thought. Not at all. But he just nodded. Cora swallowed the last bit of her donut and wiped some powder off her chin as the men got out of their seats. Jack lifted the little girl from the booth and set her on the ground, taking her hand in his. Without warning, she began to skip happily through the coffee shop, causing Jack to run to keep up with her. God, little kids were surprisingly springy.

The familiar sound of a little bell dinged as they walked out into the street, and it was almost as though the faint noise had reminded Cora of something, because she stopped dead in her tracks.

"I just remembered something," she declared importantly, the cool autumn breeze running through her dark curls.

"What's that?" Jack asked, kneeling down and getting to her level.

Smiling widely, she said, "My daddy wants to have sort of like a party for the end of summer and we have a pool and he said you can go and its going to be a lot of fun so do you want to?"

The child's mile-a-minute speech took a minute to get through to Jack, but when he did figure it out, he was completely surprised. For one, Cora had known him for a grand total of about 50 minutes, and her father didn't know him at all. Of course, it sort of made sense, because a casual party would be a really great way to get to know your future employee personally, but still. It was weird. Cool, but weird. And secondly, he hadn't been invited to any sort of party since he'd been in school, which was about five years, give or take. He didn't know what to say.

"I'd love to go, Cora," he explained gently, "but are you _sure_ your dad thinks it's okay? Because I really wouldn't want to be intruding, if it's like a family thing and-"

"It's not!" Cora exclaimed. "Trust me, you can go. Even Uncle Tommy's coming! Oh, it's just going to be so much fun! We can go swimming and there's gonna be music and it's going to be so much fun!"

Judging by her words, it seemed as though Cora already had her mind set on Jack's coming to this little get-together. In her mind, there was no real question. Plus, her million-watt smile was one that not even the most cold hearted of people could say no to.

Smiling almost as big as his little counterpart, Jack said, "Well, then I'd love to."


	4. A Lost Work of Art

**First of all, I want to say thanks so much for the reviews. I've never published anything before, and it is really nice to have someone outside of your inner circle telling you, "Hey! You _don't_ suck!" So thanks a lot more than words can say. :D**

**Secondly, I'd like you guys to take note of how I'm trying to develop the relationship (or lack thereof) between Rose and Ruth. I'm planning on manipulating it later on; using it as a plot device. That's all I'm going to say, but I'd like some feedback on how it's panning out. Is it realistic? Too tense? Too forced? Too cliched? Working out well? Thanks it advance; you guys are the best!**

**xoxo**

Chapter Four

The Heller Art Gallery

Rose hadn't seen Caledon Hockley since she was thirteen years old. Back then, she had been afraid of him. When she was very young, she'd assumed he was in the Mafia, and even when she'd realized that he wasn't even Italian, it still made her uncomfortable to even think about him. He just didn't seem like a good guy. Apparently he'd been off touring the world for the last four years, and Rose couldn't help but hold on to a tiny hope that, if she had to marry him, he would have at least lightened up a bit. Seeing him for the first time in a long time made her severely disheartened. If anything, he was even more stuck up and creepy than he'd been before.

Now, as he kissed her hard on the cheek, it was all she could do not to grimace. Here was this guy, this creepy guy who was twice her age, trying to make her love him when she hadn't seen him since she was a little girl. To be honest, the first word that came to mind when she thought about him was 'pervert.' Psychopath, overly controlling, creeper and predator were also up there.

It only took her a few minutes of contemplation after her mother had dropped the marriage bombshell on her to realize that that's what had been being planned all along. It almost made her sick to think that two people whom she had trusted – well, not trusted, but not distrusted, either – had been planning and arranged life for her behind her back for years now. Almost as sick is Cal's smothering.

"How interesting is all this stuff, sweetheart?" he asked, clearly faking his enthusiasm. "Isn't it amazing?"

Rose wrinkled her nose at the weird sphere-type thing that stood in front of her. It was all sorts of different colours and splatters that seemed to form some sort of self-replicating pattern. She turned around to eye the classical paintings behind her. They were Picassos.

"I like those ones a lot better, to be honest," Rose said, gesturing to the hanging paintings. "That's what art is to me. Truth, but no logic."

Cal shrugged and peered at the inscriptions under the pieces. Unlike him, Rose had recognized them without reading the caption. "They're Picasso," he explained nonchalantly, as though Rose didn't already know that. "No," he said, turning back to the multi-coloured sphere, "this work here is much more interesting. See that pattern on the globe? It's a fractal. Do you know what a fractal is, sweet pea?"

Nodding, Rose said nothing. Of course she knew what a fractal was. What most people didn't realize about Rose was that she was intelligent enough to do anything she wanted in life. She had ended the eleventh grade with a 92% average and could have been the star of the senior volleyball team, if her mother had allowed her to play. According to her teachers, there wasn't an academic subject that she didn't have astounding aptitude in, but that's not what her mother saw, and clearly it wasn't what Cal saw, either. They looked at her and saw a future trophy wife, but that was the last thing she wanted to be. She could go on to be a mathematician, a doctor, a lawyer, an author, a dancer, and actress, an athlete... but as it stood, she was going to become a stay-at-mom with a husband who was thirteen years older than she. How frigging wonderful was that?

"You're quiet today, Rose," Cal said. "Is something bothering you?"

She was just about to open her mouth and say that he didn't even know her, and maybe she was just a quiet person (which was a lie) when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Without a word of apology to Cal, she whipped it out and read a text from her friend Mekyla. Ruth absolutely detested her daughter's addiction to texting, but in a strange way it was sort of her own fault. Ruth scheduled her daughter's days so tightly that she never really got time to hang out with her friends. It was a wonder that they even bothered texting her, since they never really got to meet up. At least they cared about how she was, unlike her mom.

With her thumbs going a mile a minute, she replied to Mekyla's message.

"Rose Elizabeth DeWitt Bukater!" her mother said through clenched teeth. "Put that thing away right this instant! I don't want to see it again until we get home!"

More out of fatigued resentment than actually feeling the need to listen to her mother, Rose rolled her eyes, obligingly hit the send button and placed her phone back in her pocket. Apparently cell phone use in public was wrong or something, even though that was the entire reason they were invented. It wasn't even like she was smoking or swearing or something, which were bad but would be completely her own prerogative if she wanted to partake in them. She was just talking to her friend!

"She knows," Cal explained, as though he had the right to speak for her. "It won't happen again, right sweet pea?"

How in the world did this man, this man who hadn't seen Rose in four years and who knew absolutely nothing about the person she was now, presume to speak and think for her? A sudden onset of absolute rage boiled so furiously in her blood that it surprised her. Cal wasn't even supposed to be here today. Ruth had promised Rose that it would just be the two of them, and that they would have a chance to talk about all of things that they never really got to otherwise. Rose wasn't an idiot- she knew that she and her mother never had and never truly would have a genuinely close relationship, and she wasn't about to pour out her heart and her soul in front of a woman who probably didn't even care about her. But at the same time, just talking to her, even a little bit, even if it was just about the final fitting for her gown for the debutante ball, was something. Something that didn't happen very often.

In fact, far from ever having had a long, heart-to-heart, mother-daughter conversation, Rose had been unable to go to her mother even when it had been absolutely necessary. She remembered being twelve and getting her period for the first time- oh, God, that had been an awful experience. She'd hid from her mother for as long as she could, because she knew how it was supposed to be between mothers and daughters when that time came around, and she couldn't bear facing the reality that it would not be like that for them. At first, she'd only told Mekyla, because they were best friends and, at twelve, people like to presume that their best friend knows everything. She was supportive and completely understood Rose's reluctance to speak to her mother, but she'd gotten hers about a month previously and was none too quick to remind her friend that that wasn't the sort of thing you could hide for very long.

It had lasted two days, and Ruth had been very nonchalant – almost cold – when her daughter finally told her.

"Well, you seem to be making out all right," she had said stoically. "You know, Rose, that this means you're not a little girl anymore."

It was probably right around that time that Ruth had started planning her daughter's eventual marriage to Cal. If she had been lying to Rose all of these years about her own future, then what was to stop her from lying about having a somewhat normal relationship for once, even if it was just for one afternoon? That was what Rose craved about all- a normal, loving mother who would be proud of her daughter as long as she was following her dreams. And those dreams had nothing to do with Cal.

For the first time in a year, Rose dared herself to think about her father for more than a fleeting moment. She allowed herself to wish he was still with her; to wish she could be with him. It was an odd sensation, really. The sensation of true loss. It perplexed her, to be honest.

"Excuse me mother," she said quietly. "I'm just going off to find a bathroom. Don't worry; I'll be back soon." Ha. That was a lie. Rose happened to know that up on the second floor, there was a cafe, and that was where she was headed to. She was sure her mother would have had something to say, but she turned on her heels and walked calmly through the crowd, distancing herself from Ruth as quickly as possible.

The cafe had a cute, quaint little vibe to it, and it was a nice place to think. But more important than what it had was what it didn't have: Ruth and Cal, the later in particular. Right now, he was the last thing Rose wanted around.

~.~

There truly are people in this world who were sent to the wrong address; who are living lives that are not the ones they were meant to be living. Bert Cartmell had to be one of those people. The director of the Heller Art Gallery, he must have had money oozing out of his pores and could have people running around at his every whim, but he didn't. He was a pleasant, jolly sort of guy who made you feel instantly at ease, which was good, considering how nervous Jack was. He'd never been in a place like this before- everything was expensive, antique, breakable or all of the above. Just breathing made Jack feel like he was violating a sanctuary.

"So, Mr Dawson," Bert said, his face fixed in a permanent, genuine smile, "we'd love to see you start working here by Wednesday. How does that sound to you?"

"That sounds excellent. I'll be here." Despite his fear of breaking something and getting sued, Jack couldn't wait to start work. He'd only been in the gallery for a little more than an hour, but he had already decided that it was the most amazing, magical place in the world. The walls were covered in classic paintings- Picasso, Monnet, Van Gogh... the whole building was a breathtaking masterpiece. In display cases were modern works of art which Jack had something of a hard time understanding. They were all three-dimensional objects splattered in paint or paper maché- not exactly his definition of art, but interesting nonetheless. Jack felt that he could literally spend a week in this place and never get bored.

"Well then, I'll look forward to seeing you," replied Bert, extending his hand.

Jack attempted to shake the man's hand, but Cora, who was perched in his arms, squirmed around restlessly and rubbed her eyes. If he freed one hand now, he probably would have dropped her. He nodded at Mr Cartmell instead, and turned to look at the little girl who was resting her head on his shoulder.

"Are you getting tired, Cora?" Jack asked, setting her gently down on her feet and shaking her father's hand properly.

As all small children do when asked if they're tired, Cora shook her head resiliently and stifled a yawn. "I'm not tired," she explained. "My eyes are just sore."

That excuse had never been known to work, especially on Tommy, who appeared to know Cora better than anyone else, a mystery which still puzzled Jack. He took Cora's hand in his and brushed her hair out of her face.

"C'mon, Cora. We all know better than that," he said, tickling his niece under her chin. "I think we best be gettin' home, if that's alright with your dad."

With the rebellious spirit that could only belong to a young child, Cora yanked her hand free from her uncle's and looked up at Jack and her father with those big, brown, puppy dog eyes.

"No way!" she exclaimed. "Can we at least go get something to eat first?"

Tommy shrugged, evidently not seeing a problem with the suggestion. He looked to his brother-in-law for approval, who nodded.

"That seems reasonable to me," he said. "Jack, Bert, would you care to join us?"

"Yes they would!" Cora exclaimed. "They definitely would. Right Jack?"

Bert laughed heartily at his daughter's comment. It appeared to Jack that he was quite used to his daughter's joyous spirit, which was quite the comfort. Although Mr Cartmell was a nice man who clearly loved his daughter very much, today had only served to deepen Jack's worries that Cora depended more on her uncle than her parents. During the rare instances that she hadn't been in Jack's arms, Cora had spent the time holding Tommy's hand rather than her father's. When something excited her, it was her Uncle Tommy who she pointed it out to. Cora's family life was a mystery that Jack was absolutely determined to figure out.

"I'd love to," he replied, "if it's all right with your father."

Looking at his watch, Bert said, "I've got about fifteen minutes. Sounds good to me."

Maybe it was that. Maybe Cora was one of those unfortunate kids who got scheduled into their parents' work lives. It would be hard for such a child to feel truly loved and happy. Ever since he could remember, Jack had wanted to change somebody's life... just one person. Just to make them truly happy. Maybe his chance was coming.

Cora jumped back into Jack's arms, and the pair followed Bert and Tommy up the steps to the cafe on the second level of the gallery. They had almost reached the top of the winding staircase when, from the corner of his eye, something flaming red caught Jack's attention. At first he thought it might have been some sort of painting, but he was made to feel like an absolute idiot when he realized that, far from a painting, the work of art in front of his eyes was a woman... the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was so stunning that he couldn't help but stop in his tracks and stare.

Her hair was the colour of a brilliant rose; her skin like cream and her eyes like dancing emeralds. She must have been cut from the same stock as Cora's family, maybe even better, because her white jeans were clearly designer and the earrings and necklace that she wore looked as though they'd cause her to drown the moment she set foot into a swimming pool. All that aside, though, it was the look on her face that captivated Jack the most. Confusion, pain, anger... so many emotions painted plainly on her angelic face. Jack could only wonder what lay beneath it.

"Eh, Jack!" Tommy called. "What are ye- oh, Lord..."

Jack barely heard him. The woman turned her head for a moment, just for a moment, but Jack couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, she had been looking at him. Moments later, a much older man walked up behind her and grabbed her by the arm, but she pulled away from him. To Jack, it appeared as though they were arguing. Poor girl. He could only imagine what sort of turmoil she was going through at the hands of this man. Anger clearly rising within the woman, she turned on her heels and stomped off, leaving Jack staring into thin air.

"Forget it, boyo," Tommy said. "You'd as like have angels fly out o' yer arse as get next to the likes o' her."

Shaking his head as he brought himself back down to earth, Jack ignored Tommy's words and continued making his way up the stairs, balancing the near-fast asleep Cora in his arms. He tried to put her out of his head, but no matter how valiant his efforts, there was something about the look on her face that pulled him in and wouldn't let him go. She was like a lost work of art; a Picasso trapped inside a museum of paint-splattered spheres. He knew those emotions all too well, and a girl as beautiful as she didn't deserve them in the least.


	5. Run to the End

**Okay, so before we get this chapter rolling, I have some news. I currently am working on a free trial of Microsoft Office which is going to run out on March 31st. I'm hoping to either renew the trial or buy the software as soon as possible after that date, but you never know. So there might be a big break between updates in the beginning of April. Just letting you know.**

**Also, I would like to continue to thank everybody who's reviewing- it is a really good feeling to know that your work is being appreciated. So again, thanks so much. Keep on keeping on. :D**

Chapter Five

The Penthouse Suite,

#400 East 67th Street

The dress Rose held in her hands was absolutely beautiful. The strapless number was a deep red with a cinched, banded empire waist, sheer black tulle overlay and gothic-esque embroidery on the bust and around the bottom, which fell just above her knees. It had never even been out of the plastic covering before, and just the thought of wearing it made her feel like a princess. That was what she told herself when her life seemed awful- I am a princess. She had read that in the book 'A Little Princess' when she was just seven years old, and it had always seemed like a nice notion. Even in the most awful of storms, just telling yourself that you are a princess made everything go away, even if it was just for a little while.

Tonight was probably going to be that night that Cal officially proposed to Rose. As soon as they'd gotten home from the art gallery, Ruth had sent Rose up to her bedroom so that she could prepare for dinner at some ridiculously expensive restaurant, telling her that tonight 'was a big night,' and that could only mean one thing. Sighing, Rose laid the dress on her bed and sat down beside it. She didn't want to be married at seventeen, and especially not to Cal! She had hoped he would have changed his ways in the last four years, but if anything he had only gotten worse. He had been such an arrogant asshole at the art gallery that afternoon. She was still angry over the way he'd spoken as though he knew what was going on inside of her head; as though he even knew her at all! Rose couldn't even bear to imagine the life she would lead if she was to be suppressed by Cal for all of eternity.

Sometimes, when she felt as though there was no room left in her life to breath, Rose very briefly thought about the time when her father had been alive. She never thought about those days for more than a fleeting moment, though, and she never really thought about the part of her life where he was dead. Sure, that was every day now, but she wasn't able to think of it like that- it was just life; not necessarily life without her father. Now, though, she allowed herself to truly think about her father for the first time since he died. He had loved her so much and she wished with every fibre of her being that he could be with her again. If he was here, the maybe things would be different. Maybe he would have stood up to her mother, like the way he did when Rose was younger and wanted to go out and do things like the other kids. If it hadn't been for her father, Rose never would have gotten the chance to ride a bike, pierce her ears go to summer camp. Maybe, if he was still alive, she would have the chance to go out and see the world and meet someone who she really loved...

No. She couldn't allow herself to think that way. She was grown up now; grown up and mature and too old to amuse herself with fanciful ideas of what may and may not be if things were different. If she started to think those thoughts, she would begin to hope that they would come true, and that would only set her up for a world of hurt in the end. Her father was dead, she was going to marry Cal, and there was no way out.

Blocking all thoughts of her father from her mind, Rose sat down in front of her vanity mirror and ran her fingers through her hair. What to do with it? She didn't want to make it look too fancy, because that would be as though she was acknowledging the importance of the night. That would make it seem like she cared. Which she didn't. Instead, she slipped it through an elastic and wrapped it into a messy bun, fastening it with a pewter flower clip. When she was happy with the way her hair looked, she got up from her chair and took the plastic off of her brand new dress. It was so beautiful... so like everything in her life. Well, on the outside, anyway.

To tell the truth, it was the loveliest dress she'd ever seen and fit her like a glove, but she just didn't feel like herself in it. It was like a symbol for her- a symbol of the way her mother repressing everything Rose wished she could stand for. On the inside, Rose knew that she was meant to be a wild, free-spirited person, but she also knew that she was far too afraid to admit it to her mother, and she always would be.

As she closed her bedroom door behind her, she felt as though she was closing the door to the life she'd always wanted to live- the life where she was a painter or a dancer or an actress who was married to a man she loved- and walking head on into a future full of regret.

"I'm ready to go, Mother," she said as she noticed that Ruth was standing in front of the door waiting for her. She looked so very self-important.

Ruth nodded briskly. "Well, then, let's be on our way. Mr Hockley has arranged for us to be picked up outside tonight." No 'you look beautiful' or even 'I like that dress.' Not from her mother. Her mother didn't care about her, really.

Sometimes Rose wondered if God even paid attention to the type of people he gave children to. Either he didn't care, or he'd made a big mistake with Ruth. There were plenty of girls in the world who wanted to be pampered princesses, and plenty of mothers who wanted their daughters to enjoy life. Why couldn't the DeWitt Bukaters have been put into families that better suited their lifestyle? Sometimes the world really was unfair.

Mother and daughter were silent during the elevator ride. They both knew what awaited them later that night, and neither one of them spoke for fear of bringing that unspoken truth to the surface. For Rose's part anyway, she was too afraid to make her mother angry. Outside if the building, a black limousine was pulled up at the sidewalk. Of course.

Leave it to Cal to do absolutely everything in his power to draw attention to the soon-to-be union between Rose and himself. Why couldn't they just take the subway like normal people?

"Well, isn't that lovely?" Ruth said, but Rose could tell that she would be inwardly evaluating every inch of the night, starting now. Her mother had to be the only person for whom a limousine may not be good enough- not that it was a surprise or anything.

A driver in a long black coat stepped out and held the door open for the two women. Rose was momentarily relieved to be sheltered from the cold breeze, but her pleasure lasted literally half a second before she noticed that, sitting down next to the window, was Cal. She didn't really know why she'd thought he'd be meeting them at the restaurant; she just had.

"Rose, darling," he said, kissing her hand, "you look beautiful."

Shivers ran up and down Rose's spine. It was ironic that only minutes ago she had been wishing that her mother would tell her how beautiful she was, but hearing from Cal made her stomach turn over. She didn't want Cal to think she was beautiful or to be attracted to her. She wanted him to look at her for what she was- a teenager hardly more than half his age. It wasn't even legal for them to be together! Of course, they wouldn't be married until Rose's eighteenth birthday had passed, but that didn't make it any better. If she were living in any version of the real world, Cal would have been considered a pedophile. Too bad her mother only cared about money. Money they had, money they lost, money they needed back. Money that was owed to them by Cal; a debt that he could never truly repay.

No, Rose reminded herself. Do not think such thoughts.

"Good evening, Cal," she said primly. Then, in hopes to avoid an awkward and painful silence, "Where are we going tonight?"

Cal smiled broadly, looking all together satisfied with himself. Rose felt like throwing up.

"It's a surprise, sweetheart."

At that, Rose felt beads of sweat begin to develop on her palms. Was she the only person who felt that her impending engagement to Cal was utterly inappropriate and vaguely disgusting? She glanced quickly at her mother, hoping to catch her attention. Ruth, however, was busy talking animatedly to the limo driver. She then turned to Cal and began a conversation with him, leaving Rose alone with her thoughts.

Outside of the windows were people riding bikes on the sidewalk, hailing cabs and waiting at bus stops. Crawling down the street at half a mile an hour, a black limousine was entirely out of place. Regular, happy, free-spirited people did not drive around New York City in limos. That was the sort of thing that people stared at. Unlike her mother, Rose was not the type who liked people to gape at and stare. Her father hadn't been either.

Why did he keep popping up in her thoughts lately? He had died when Rose was eleven, and she'd always been too afraid of hurting to think about him; to her allow herself to wonder what her teen years might have been like if he was still alive. For the first time in her life, she realized that there was a gaping hole in her heart where her father used to be. That gaping hole longed to see him again more than anything else in the world- to have him hold her in his arms and tell her she was beautiful and to just take all of the pain away. He would take her far away from Cal and her mother and this life that wished she wasn't living.

The driver pulled up in the parking lot of an extremely elegant restaurant that Rose had never been to before. The car door was opened, allowing a gust of cold autumn wind to brush up against Rose's legs as she climbed out.

"It's a little chilly tonight, isn't it?" Cal asked to know one in particular, taking his suit jacket off and attempting to wrap it around Rose's shoulders. She just shrugged away from the offer, not want anything at all to do with him.

"I'm fine," she said coldly, walking on ahead of Cal and her mother. When the group entered the restaurant, Cal announced them as the 'Hockley party' to the woman waiting to bring them to their table, which was just enough to throw Rose over the edge. She felt like wrapping her hands around Cal's neck and squeezing... hard. Until he stopped breathing. If perhaps she had no way out of being married to him sometime down the line, that didn't mean her mother had any sort of relation to him. As much as her mother made her angry sometimes, she would never wish being a part of Cal's family on even her most hated enemy.

The restaurant was absolutely gorgeous, painted a deep red with pristinely white tablecloths and seat coverings. The tables were adorned with serviettes the same shade of wine as the walls, as well as matching roses, all of which Ruth took in within moments.

"This is an exquisite place, Caledon," she said with an approving smile, before shooting a quick but sharp glance at her daughter. It was as though she was trying to say, 'See how much how cares?' The impression Rose got, though, was more along the lines of 'See how much he's trying to impress my mother?' In the back of her mind, she kept reminding herself that if only her father was still around, this wouldn't be happening. If only...

In that instant, Rose made a drastic decision. Her mother's constant insults, Cal's perverted smothering, the cotillion lessons, the gowns and dresses... the life that, rather than having been made by her, had been made for her by someone who had anything but her best interests at heart... it was all too much. Without a word, she Rose calmly from the table and turned on her heels, ignoring the looks of surprise on the faces of Ruth and Cal.

Soon she was outside of the restaurant, the cold wind whipping across her face. It drove her to move faster and more purposefully. She ripped the stupid flower out of her hair and started to run. To run to a way out. To run to a place where she could get away from it all. To run to her father. To run to the end.


	6. Second Chance

**A/N: This whole review concept is exciting, isn't it? So before I go on, I'm going to address some of your questions/comments directly.**

**Moonlight Oh Bright- Considered and accounted for. I know Fabrizio has so far only popped up once, but I promise he'll back and become something of a major character. And as far as Jack goes- read on!**

**Clumsy but Elegant- It makes me feel very badly, too, because I would like to update as often as possible. Thankfully next week is March break, so hopefully I'll be able to get at least three or four chapters out before school starts again.**

**Everybody else- THANKS SO MUCH.**

**And another thing- there is a section of dialogue here that is taken directly from the movie. It belongs solely to James Cameron, as does everything else. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter Six

The Brooklyn Bridge

Since he'd been living on his own, Jack had personally witness six would-be jumpers. Only two of them had been able to pack up the courage to actually jump, and one of them had still survived. All in all, jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge seemed like a pretty stupid concept to him, and he'd grown so used to it now that he hardly even paid attention to it anymore.

This time was different, though. For the first time since he could remember, the bridge was virtually free of tourists. Even at such a late hour, it was normally packed. Everywhere in Manhattan was normally packed. But at that moment, for some unknown reason, there was almost nobody around, which told him that this one wasn't doing it for the attention.

On top of that, she was so very young. He couldn't see her face very well in the dark, but as she climbed over the edge and positioned herself to let go, her thin frame and evident agility showed that she was definitely younger than most jumpers- probably even younger than Jack himself. Suppose she was only seventeen or eighteen, with her whole life still ahead of her. Maybe someday she was meant to go off and see the world, fall in love and raise a family. There was no way he could just let her throw all that out the window. He was going to save this girl's life tonight.

"Don't do it."

The girl, who appeared not to have noticed him before, snapped her head around to reveal a terrified, tear-stained face- a terrified, tear-stained, _familiar_ face. In took Jack less than a second to place her- she was the girl he'd seen at the art gallery earlier that afternoon. The one who'd had pain and suffering and anguish written all over her face. The one who'd been grabbed by a man twice her age; a man whom she clearly couldn't stand. As soon as put the pieces together, he promised himself that as soon as he met that son of a bitch, he was going to make his life Hell. He was going to hit him and kick him and choke him for ever having made such a beautiful young girl suffer so much.

Sobbing, the girl yelled, "Stay back! Don't come any closer!" Even in the darkness, Jack could sense a look of pure terror coming from her tear-filled eyes, which led him to believe that she wasn't really suicidal or clinically depressed or any of those things that cause people to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. To him, she appeared to be an angry and frightened girl who wasn't old or independent enough to build her own way out of whatever horrible life she was living.

"C'mon," he said calmly, approaching the girl despite her warnings. He knew she wasn't really going to do it. "Take my hand and I'll help you back over. It's gonna be okay. Just take my hand."

"No!" she said boldly. "You just stay right where you are. I'll jump; I mean it."

Jack laughed, not because it was funny, but because he genuinely cared about this girl. He wanted to make it seem as though this was no big deal- as though she was making a mistake and someday she'd look back on like any other day of her life.

"No you won't," he stated simply.

"How would you know?" she demanded. Jack could tell she was just being argumentative now. Drawing it out to prove that she was right and he was wrong. "You can't just tell me what I will and won't do! You don't know anything about me!"

"Look," Jack began, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, "If you were gonna jump, you would have done it by now. You're making a big mistake. Now, take my hand and I promise I will help pull you back over."

"You're distracting me," she said. "Go away."

Okay, now she was just being stubborn. Jack had half a mind to walk away and leave her standing there, freezing, on the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge, too afraid to jump but with no means of getting back over. A second later, though, he remembered her face earlier that day, and took a good long look at her face now. He reminded himself of why he was doing this in the first place.

"I can't. I'm involved now. If you let go I'm gonna have to jump in after you. And that's not something I really want to do. That water looks pretty cold."

It appeared to Jack that the reality of what she was about to do was finally sinking in. He could just see the cogs whirring in her mind- did she really want to do this? Did she want to end her future this way, to cut her life short? Was it really worth it?

Her voice shaking, she asked, "How cold?"

"You ever been to Wisconsin?" he asked her, to which she shook her head quizzically.

"No," she replied, sounding perplexed. Good, Jack thought. That meant she was actually listening and not just humouring him. Which was good, because he knew what he was talking about.

"Well," he began, "they have some of the coldest winters around, and I grew up there, near Chippewa Falls. Once when I was a kid my father and I were ice fishing out on Lake Wissota... ice fishing's where you chop a hole in the ice and-"

"I know what ice fishing is!" the girl shouted. She sounded quite offended too, which Jack thought was a good thing. At least she'd been pulled out of her suicidal trance.

Jack couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry," he said. "Just... you look like kind of an indoor girl. Anyway, I went through some thin ice and I'm tellin ya; water that cold... like that right down there..." he pointed to the waves that lapped up against the support beams of the bridge far below them. "It hits you like a thousand knives all over your body. You can't breathe; you can't think... least not about anything but the pain."

As the meaning behind what he was saying sunk in, the girl's face began to twist from a look of anger and desperation into a mask of fear and disgust. It seemed to Jack as though she was beginning to really realize what she was about to do, and that the man standing behind her was the only one who could save her.

Jack continued his story, knowing that he would be finished only a few seconds when the girl decided to hope back over onto steady ground. "Which is why I'm not looking forward to jumping in after you. But like I said, I don't see a choice. I guess I'm kinda hoping you'll come back over the ledge and get me off the hook here."

The girl was completely silent for a moment. She gazed at Jack for a long time, as though in wonder. How could someone care so much about a person they didn't even know? People who live New York City see jumpers all the time- why did he decide, on this night, that she mattered to him? For the first time since her father had died, she felt truly and honestly loved.

"You're crazy," she stated, as though it was a bonafide fact.

Jack just shrugged nonchalantly. "That's what everybody says. But with all due respect, I'm not the one about to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. Look," he said, shuffling closer to her, "you don't want to do this. Give me your hand."

The girl on the other side of the ledge stared at him long and hard. How he wondered what she was thinking. Was she impressed by him? Awestruck? Perplexed? Creeped out, perhaps, by this crazy guy who was trying to save her life. Whatever she saw in his eyes, it was captivating her, because she held her gaze for a long time. Jack looked back into her eyes- her absolutely beautiful eyes. Big, green, full of wonder... and although pain and fear still shone through as the dominant emotion, there was something new dancing around them, something Jack hadn't seen before- a glimmer of hope.

"Alright."

With one syllable, a huge weight appeared to be lifted from the young woman's shoulders. She held her head high and rolled back her shoulders as she put one hand in Jack's and supported her entire weight on the other.

"I'm Jack, by the way," he said, unable to stop a smile from spreading across his face. He'd done it. He'd made a difference in someone's life. No- he'd _saved_ someone's life. That was even better. "Jack Dawson."

The girls opened her mouth to introduce herself, but before she could speak, her shoe got caught and she lost balance. It all happened so fast that Jack didn't really know how. She was standing there, and then she was hanging in midair. Somehow Jack had managed to grab her with his free hand and keep her from falling to the death that he'd been trying to save her from. The girl shrieked, and Jack pulled her up with all his might. It wasn't easy- he was supporting her entire weight on just his hands- but after what felt like a year, he finally managed to pull her back over the edge.

The lump that had developed in his throat instantly disappeared and his stomach slid back down from his chest to where it was supposed to be.

Picking herself up off the ground and getting her bearings, the girl extended a hand and said, "I'm Rose. Rose DeWitt Bukater."

Finally, Jack thought. He'd first laid eyes on the angel standing in front of him only eight hours ago, tops, but every minute that he didn't know who she was felt like a hundred years. Before that afternoon, Jack hadn't really been the type to believe in love at first sight, but with Rose it had been like the way described it in those tacky romance novels teenage girls and single mothers liked to read. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and he finally knew her name. Too bad there was no way in Hell he could pronounce.

"You're gonna need to write that one down for me," he said with a laugh. "So, where are you headed from here?"

Rose shrugged sadly. "I don't know," she said, sounding exasperated. "I was with my mother and a... a friend before, but I was trying to... well... I don't know where to go from here, to be honest."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the 'friend' she spoke of was the man who'd approached her at the art gallery. The hesitation in her speech and the contemptuous way she'd pronounced the syllable gave of the impression that she hated that person with all of her heart. If Jack where her, he definitely would have hated that guy. Heck, he already hated him and he hadn't even met him!

"Well," Jack said nervously, not wanting to say the wrong but not knowing the whole story, "I really think you should go back to your family. I'll go with you, if you'd like."

Rose didn't look Jack in the eye as she spoke. Instead, she stared up at the starless Manhattan sky, as though searching for an answer from Heaven.

"I don't want to go back to my family. I'll run away!" she exclaimed, as though it was the first time the idea had occurred to her. Then, as though she'd suddenly received divine inspiration, she turned to Jack and looked at him curiously. "Where do you live?"

All of a sudden, Jack felt very insecure. Obviously that comment was just a teenage girl looking for a way out, but just the thought of bringing a person like Rose into his tiny, two-room apartment made him extremely uncomfortable. Instead of revealing that, however, he tried to make a joke of it.

"Trust me," he said with a laugh, "you'd hate it. And don't say I don't know you; I'm telling you. You'd hate it. No, I think you need to go back to your family. Come on, I'll walk with you."

Jack started to walk in the direction that Rose had come running from, leaving her glued to the spot for a moment. Once she realized he wasn't joking, though, she ran to catch up with him. This man who seemed to know everything that was best for her was so interesting that she would have followed him wherever he went, even if it meant going back to the very place she was trying so desperately to get out of.

The mismatched pair, poor boy and rich girl, walked in silence for a long time, Rose leading the way back to the restaurant where her mother was probably still waiting in shock. Aside from wanting to be with her for as long as possible, Jack truly would not have felt secure allowing a teenage girl to walk around downtown New York City on her own. Now, though, it was becoming apparent that Rose was totally fine on her own. The silence was starting to grow awkward by the time they were half a block away from the restaurant.

"You know," Rose said timidly, breaking the silence, "I really want to thank you for... for what your did. I mean, we only get to live once, you know. So I could never really repay you enough."

"It's okay," Jack said, continuing to walk towards wherever Rose was leading him. "I couldn't let you do it; it was no trouble, really."

Rose stopped in her tracks. "Well, whether it was trouble or not, it meant a lot to me. I just- I've never really felt before that someone really cared about how I felt, and what you did for me... like I said, it meant a lot. So I'd really like to return the favour, even though I know I can't really do that. What I'm trying to say is that my mother is having something of a dinner party tomorrow, and I was wondering if you'd like to join us?"

When Jack had said that it had been nothing, he'd really meant it. Rose didn't have to pay him back. But as far as he could tell, the angel sent down from Heaven who was standing in front of him right now had just invited him to join her for dinner. Within half a second, a million thoughts ran through his mind. He undoubtedly owned no appropriate clothes for any sort of party hosted by Rose's family, and his presence there probably wouldn't be appreciated, and he was going to have to practice some major self control if that psychotic man from the art gallery was going to be there, but he didn't care. He was going to go to dinner with Rose.

Part of him felt bad because he was going to have to tell Cora that he'd be showing up at her house a little bit late, but it was only a very small part. He was going to have dinner with Rose! How great was that?

"Well, I'd love to," he said, trying to sound cavalier and failing horrendously. "That's be great."

Rose smiled shyly, not really knowing what to say. "Umm, can I meet you sometime early tomorrow so we can talk a little bit more about it? Because I really should be getting back now."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Umm, I'll be in Central Park pretty much all day. Does that work for you?"

"Sounds great," Rose said. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"See you then."

Rose turned on her heel and walked towards the restaurant, then stopped and turned back around to face Jack. It appeared as though she was looking for something to say that would impress him. 'Trust me,' Jack thought, 'you don't need to try.' She already had him wrapped around her finger.

"Thanks," she said simply, then turned again and walked into the restaurant.

Jack watched her go, her bright red hair trailing in the wind. Her beauty was completely indescribable. He couldn't wait to get to know her better, to really get under skin and find out more about her. Clearly she was living a life that was destructive and oppressive and destroying her spirit. And underneath all of that pain, her spirit was beautiful. Beautiful and wild and just waiting to get out.


	7. What I'm Supposed to Be

Chapter Seven

York Prep School

40 West 68th Street

Never before in Rose's life had school been as boring as it was the next morning, waiting impatiently for the lunch bell to ring. When that happened, she was going to dash out of the room as fast as she possibly could and meet up with Jack Dawson in Central Park.

The previous night's events were something of a mess in Rose's mind- she didn't really remember everything that had happened or how she'd been feeling. It was all sort of cloudy, except for Jack. The man who'd saved her life. Despite the fog in her brain that seemed to be swallowing everything else, Jack was a prominent image that had stayed with her all night and into the morning. Everything about him filled her thoughts- his face, his eyes, his hair... how once, when he was a kid, he'd fallen through the ice in Chippewa Falls. Absolutely every word he'd spoken to her, every little movement he'd made, were imprinted permanently on her memory.

Rose hadn't been more thankful for anything before. Jack had saved her from the most horrendous mistake she could have possibly made. That was all she could think about. Well, that, and the fact that he was probably the most beautiful person she'd seen in her entire life. Everyone around her was talking math and science and art and gym and trying to get it to sink into her brain, but there was no room for anything but Jack. She felt that if she had to wait any longer to see him, she just might burst.

"The bell is about to ring," her English teacher, Mr Lesperance, said, interrupting her train of thought, "so I'm just going to remind you that your essays on Lady Macbeth's descent into madness are due Friday. And remember, tomorrow's open house, and I'm-"

Surely he continued to speak, but Rose heard none of it. The bell had rung. She was out of the room and halfway down the hall before any of the other students even registered that they could leave. Once she was outside, it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her chest and she was able to breathe again. It took all of her willpower not to run down the street, pushing her way through the crowds of people that clogged the streets of New York at midday. In the back of her mind, she had to ask herself what was wrong with running like a maniac. People around here acted like maniacs all the time. In truth, it was because her mother's influence was always and always would be present in some small form, critiquing, ridiculing... and her mother would not like to see her running down the street like a maniac.

It took a lot of effort to put her mother out of her mind, but she did it. After all, what did it matter when she would soon be off to see Jack? Central Park was really close to her school, and she could be there in less than ten minutes. The only issue was that it was huge- a though that hadn't occurred to her before. What if Jack was on the opposite end of the park? What if lunch was over before she had time to find him? Then she'd never get to see him again!

All of those awful thoughts were racing around her head as she walked through the gates of the park. Suddenly, she felt extremely lost. Rose was beginning to realize that she was in over her head... not just in searching central park for one person, but the whole idea. If her mother ever found out, which she was going to because she'd already invited Jack to dinner with them tonight, she was dead meat. Oh Lord, and what about Cal? What was Cal going to do to her? More importantly, what was he going to do to Jack? Even though she didn't know him very well, Rose could easily see Cal as the jealous type. What had she been thinking last night? Why did she run away in the first place, and how the hell had it lead her to Central Park this afternoon?

Not knowing at all what to do now, or what she was going to say later, Rose suddenly felt really and truly lost. She was standing in the entrance of Central Park at noon on a school day, looking for a man whom she'd met once in her life. How stupid was that?

Still, she had to look for him. He was counting on her, and it was the least she could do. He'd saved her life after all. She walked a little bit farther, passing a sort of grove of trees. As autumn was beginning to set in, their leaves were turning all shades of yellow and orange and red, some of them the exact colour of Rose's hair. A few were already laying on the ground in a small pile, and Rose couldn't help but smile as she watched a few little kids jumping up and down and throwing the leaves all about. When she say their young mothers looking on at their children with pride, however, she couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy rising in her chest.

Soon, the path she was walking on opened up to a huge lawn that was full of tourists. Rose remembered being there as a child for charity events and outdoor parties that her mother had attended. She'd never seen it in person the way it was today. Sitting in the middle of the lawn was a group of people... three men, an older woman and a little girl. There were easily a 50 yards away from where she stood, but even from such a distance, Rose could tell that one of the men was Jack.

How lucky was she to have found him in such a huge place in less than five minutes? Her spirits were instantly lifted and a smile grew on her face that reached her eyes. She tried to contain her enthusiasm at seeing Jack again, and somehow managed to keep herself from running towards him. She couldn't, however, hide the new spring in her step as she approached the crowd of people around Jack.

Seated on his lap was a little girl of about six with a mass of dark curls floating around her face. Jack appeared to be showing her something in a brown folder, while the other adults watched and listened. As Rose approached them, the little girl looked up, pointed at her and whispered something to Jack. He looked up as well, smiling as he saw her.

"Rose!" he called out, waving to her. She felt that, now that he had acknowledged her presence, it would be safe to run towards him.

"Good afternoon, Jack," she said, trying to sound calm- or at least not like the crazy person she felt like. She wondered who all of the people standing around where- two other men, one about Jack's age who looked to be from somewhere Mediterranean, one a little older; and large woman who looked to be about her mother's age with hair almost as red as Rose's. Were they his family? Suddenly she felt extremely envious. Although she knew it wasn't true, and that there were far more important things in the world for God or whoever it was that looked after them to think about, it felt as though she was the only person in the world who truly knew what it was like not to be loved or care for.

Jack lifted the little girl – his niece? Sister? Cousin? – from his lap and placed her on the ground, still holding on to her little hand.

"Everybody," he said, "this is Rose...?"

"DeWitt Bukater," she answered with a smile, remembering what he'd said the night before. _You're gonna need to write that one down for me._

"Right. This is Rose DeWitt Bukater. We met yesterday evening when I was on my way home from the gallery," he explained, shooting a look at one of the men that Rose didn't quite understand. The man looked somewhat shocked, which confused her even more.

"Rose, this is my friend Fabrizio De Rossi," he continued, gesturing towards the Italian man, "Tommy Ryan, and his niece Cora Cartmell." The little girl holding onto Jack's hand smiled brightly and waved at Rose, who smiled and waved back.

"And I'm Molly Brown," the older woman said, before Jack got a chance to introduce her. "I'm Cora's auntie, but on her dad's side. Tommy's her mom's brother."

Okay, so they weren't Jack's family. Rose instantly felt bad for being so jealous of him for no good reason- it made her feel like such a low, pathetic person.

"Lovely to meet you all," she said, shaking everyone's hand and smiling. When she bent down to Cora's level in an attempt to make her feel more comfortable, the little girl cocked her head to the side and made a very precocious comment before Rose even got the chance to speak.

"Your hair is just like your name," she said simply. Rose must have looked confused because she went on to explain, "Well, your name is Rose and roses are red. Your hair is the exact same colour as a rose! It's very beautiful."

Everyone, including Rose, laughed at Cora's childhood sense of wonder. It was very refreshing to see that there would always be people in the world for whom the little things were just as impressive as the big things.

Running her delicate fingers through Cora's own mane of curls, Rose said, "Well, I think your hair is very beautiful, too, sweetheart."

"Thank you," Cora replied politely. "Me and Jack are friends," she explained. "He drew a picture of me and he said I could keep it. Are you friends with Jack?"

Rose looked up at him hesitantly. How was she supposed to answer that question? Jack just shrugged, clearly not having any suggestions.

She looked back at Cora and said, "I suppose we are. Your friend Jack did me a very big favour, and I wanted to tell him thank you. That's why I came to visit him today."

"Oh," Cora said, looking as though she was pondering something extremely hard. "Jack's very nice," she explained, as though that had concluded her thoughts. She was smiling happily again.

"He is, isn't he?" Rose said, straightening up and looking Jack in the eye. He smiled a sort of boyish grin at her, his cheeks turning sort of pinkish. That made Rose think about what was going on. Why had he done that? What was embarrassing about being told you were a nice person? Lots of people were intimidated by her social status, but not embarrassed. Maybe... she thought, trying very hard not to hope... maybe he wasn't embarrassed. Maybe it was something else. Maybe she had really made bad decision in inviting him to dinner that night. Surely there were other ways to thank him. Not that she didn't want to spend time with him, but God, she was going to be in so much trouble. What if her mother never wanted to speak to her again? It was her duty to marry Cal, to re-establish her family's image. If she screwed up, she would surely be disowned or something. Then what was she going to do.

For a moment, Rose had gone deep into her own mind and forgotten where she was. It was Jack's voice – soft, boyish, with a sort of comforting quality that she'd never experience d before – that pulled her out of her trance.

"Guys, umm, is it okay if I disappear for a few minutes? I kind of have to talk to Rose."

Great. Rose really didn't know what to think. A part of her felt as though she could soar high above the clouds with angels all around here. Another part was thinking 'Oh, shit!'

"Can I come?" Cora piped up enthusiastically. She was cute.

Jack smiled down at here sympathetically. "It's a grown up conversation," he explained. "I'll tell when I get back, 'kay?"

Cora looked a little bit downtrodden, but she nodded obediently and turned around to look at the other adults. Fabrizio, smiling widely as he always appeared to be, waved goodbye to them and joined the conversation that Tommy and Molly were having. Jack started walking across the lawn without looking back, Rose trailing at his heels.

When she caught up to him, he said, "Okay, so tell me about last night."

Rose had been worried that he might ask just such a question. Where was she supposed to start? With the day she found out she was going to have to marry Cal? With her mother's constant bickering? The day her father died? The way she'd never truly been able to live a happy life? Last night had been a tragic mix of all of that and more... the emotions swirling around her mind that she couldn't understand- sadness, emptiness, hatred, anger, abandonment... without warning, all of those things welled up in her chest and it became a struggle not to cry.

"I don't know, honestly," she said desperately, looking Jack in the eyes. His eyes were quite amazing... light blue in colour, they seemed a lot older than the rest of his youthful face. It was as though they had seen enough happiness and horror and fear and wonder for an entire lifetime and just couldn't wait to share it all. "I don't even know where to start."

Tenderly, in a way that Rose had never experienced before, Jack put his hand on her shoulder. "How about at the beginning?"

Sighing, Rose put her hand over jacks and gently took it off her shoulder, continuing to walk. "Now, I know what you're thinking- poor little rich girl. What does she know about misery? But before you say anything-"

"Actually, that's not what I was going to say at all," Jack explained. "What I was thinking was what could they have done to hurt this girl so much that she thought she had no way out. So go on."

Rose had never told anyone the story surrounding her father's death, or the things she suspected regarding why Cal was marrying her. In part, it was because she didn't want to spread rumours about her own family, but it was also because she knew it would be far too painful to bring up. She was too afraid to get hurt. Jack was a different story, though. Maybe she didn't know him at all, maybe she was crazy and maybe she was setting herself up for pain, but she felt as though she could trust him. So start at the beginning she would do.

"My father died when I was fourteen. That was the beginning, I suppose."

Rose watched in awe as Jack's face fell. His whole persona completely changed within five seconds. Evidently, that hadn't been at all what he was expecting.

"My God, Rose," he said, sounding heartbroken. "I'm so sorry."

Rose tried to smile at him, to make him not feel so bad, but she couldn't make it reach her eyes. "It's okay," she explained dryly. "I'm managing. But that's not the whole thing. My father had slowly gambled away every cent he'd ever made from about the time I was nine years old. He was a good father and he loved me very much, but sometimes he loved alcohol a little bit more, and gambling was the only way for him to get the money he needed to drink without my mother finding out. She did, though, in the end. He gave it all to a steel tycoon named Nathaniel Hockley. I didn't know any of this until after he died and my mother told me we were broke." She didn't want to continue, not just because of the pain it caused her, but because it was evidently tormenting Jack, as well. Still, she pressed on. "Hockley had a son named Caledon, who at the time was twenty-seven and unmarried. In a last-ditch attempt to get our life back, my dad made an all-or-nothing bet- Mr Hockley gave him all of his money back, or his son got to marry me."

Taking a moment to compose herself and swallow that lump that was developing in her throat, Rose couldn't look at Jack. She faced forward, strong and resolute. There would be no more pain; no more wallowing in her own self-pity. She was stronger than that.

"He put a bullet through his head on July 28th, my birthday. So that's where I am. My father was always the one who tried to give me as normal a life as possible. He enrolled me in a public school, bought me a bike, took me on trips to the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls. That's all changed now. My mother doesn't allow me to be a part of the outside world, Cal is a freakishly possessive creep who won't let me breathe, and I'm seventeen years old and I have no future. There's no point in me applying to any universities because I'm going to be married before the next school year starts. My life is over anyways, so I guess I just figured, why not make it official?"

Despite Rose's efforts to keep things moving and not to dwell on the things she was saying, that bit made Jack stop dead in his tracks.

"Rose..." he said slowly, then stopped. Rose looked at him inquisitively, but said nothing. He tried again. "Rose.. I... I had no idea. I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. I... I wish there was something I could say or do or..."

"It's okay." And it really was. There was nothing Jack could do and there never would be. She didn't expect that of him. She was just so appreciating being cared about and thought about that she couldn't even begin to expect anything else of him. He had saved her life. He was like her guardian angel- a beautiful angel sent from Heaven to protect her. To make her feel, for the first time since her father died, that she was special and worth somebody's time and effort.

She tried to change the subject so as not to make Jack feel awkward. "Like this dinner thing tonight- it's at the Terrace on the Park, by the way. You're still coming, right?"

Jack nodded. "Of course."

"Right. So this thing, oh Lord, it's going to be full of all these people, all of them exactly like Cal and my mother, trying to tell me what I can and can't do and what I should and shouldn't dream of. That's just not right! I'm not one of them!"

Jack laughed. "That's for sure. But do you know who you are? I mean, really know?"

Confused by his question, Rose asked, "What do you mean?"

Jack crossed his hands over his chest and said, "Well, if you don't know who you are, then how can you expect people to allow you to be just that?"

In all honesty, Rose had never thought about that before, but it sort of made sense. Still, what a presumptuous thing to say! Maybe she shouldn't have said that thing about going to university- then he might not have figured out that she was only seventeen and he wouldn't be treating her like a child.

"Of course I know who I am! What kind of question is that?"

"Who is it then, if you know her so well?"

Oh, now he had her. She had no idea who she was, but it wasn't like it was her fault! She'd never been given the chance to figure it out. How was she supposed to know anything about herself when all her life she'd been forced into a mold of do's and do-not's? And wasn't Jack able to figure that out for himself?

"That's none of your business, Mr Dawson! You are being very rude, I'll have you know. All this time I've been telling you the story of my life, and you have the audacity to ask me if I know who I am! Why don't you tell me who you are, then, besides a guy who carries a folder with him everywhere he goes and saves girls from jumping off bridges! What's in that stupid thing you carry around anyway?" she demanded, grabbing the thing out of his hands and opening. What it held surprised her more than she could have imagined.

The folder was full of some of the most amazing drawings she'd ever seen. They looked like charcoal... charcoal images on drawing paper, but they were so much more. They were people. Rose flipped through page after page of faces... young, old, women, men, happy, sad... each one of them was absolutely beautiful. Each one told a story.

Rose really didn't know what to say know. She had just blown up at Jack for absolutely no reason. Was she bound to ruin everything she touched?

"Jack..." she said, trying to form a coherent thought. "These are beautiful."

Rose wandered off the path a bit and sat down on a bench, still flipping through Jack's folder of drawings. She stopped at one, an older woman sitting at a bar, draped in jewellery. The drawing seemed to be yearning to tell its story; a story that Rose was anxious to hear.

"Who's she?"

"She," Jack replied, sitting down next to Rose and fingering the drawing, "is Madame Bijoux. I drew her when I was sixteen years old, on my second trip to Paris. She would sit in this bar every night, wearing every piece of jewellery she owned, waiting for some long lost lover to come and find her."

Rose couldn't tear her eyes away from Madame Bijoux. In a way, she reminded Rose of herself. Trapped, covered in riches, waiting for something that was never going to come. What is that's what she ended up being, fifty years down the road? She couldn't bear to even imagine it.

"You've been to Paris?" she asked Jack.

He nodded. "My folks took me once when I was eight, and I loved it. I always wanted to go back. After they died, I was sort of making my own way. I saved up all of my money and went to Paris again when I was sixteen. Stayed there for a year, ran and out of money, saved enough up again to get back on a plane and, well, here I am."

She hadn't thought before of the possibility that Jack, too, had lived a difficult life. He seemed far too friendly and giving to know anything about the dark side of humanity. Now, knowing that he'd been there and made it back, he was even more of an inspiration in Rose's eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Jack," she whispered.

"Aw, no need to be sorry," he said, still smiling that perfect, seemingly permanent smile. The autumn breeze danced through his dark blond hair, making him seem even more like a distant, imagined, fantasy character then he already did. "It's sort of made me who I am today, and it's the reason I'm here."

"You know where I've always wanted to go?" she asked.

"Where?"

"The Santa Monica pier." Gazing off into the distance, Rose thought long and hard about what she was going to do with the rest of her life- all of the things she wanted to do, places she wanted to see and people she wanted to meet. For the first time, she was realizing that maybe, just maybe, it was possible.

"Say we'll go there sometime, even if we only just talk about it."

Laughing slightly, Jack said, "Nah, we'll do it. We'll drink cheap beer and ride the rollercoaster till we throw up, and ride wild horses in the surf... How great would that be?"

Rose didn't know what to say for a very long time. She'd wanted to go to Santa Monica all her life, and never in her wildest dreams had she thought it might actually happen. Now, a man she'd met only the night before was telling her she could do all of that and more. Why couldn't she be like Jack? Why couldn't she be the type of person who not only survived but thrived through all of her suffering? Why couldn't she just run off into the horizon whenever she felt like it? She decided, then and there, that she would look back on this moment thirty years from now and consider it to be the moment that changed her life. It was going to be that profound moment in which she would decide to make her own destiny. That seemed like a notion Jack would like- that people made their own profound moments.

"You know," she said, looking Jack right in the eye, "I don't know what I'm supposed to be. I might be a doctor or a lawyer, or maybe an artist. That would be fun. An painter or an actress or a sculptor or an... I don't know... a clothing designer! Why not? And maybe I don't know who I am just yet, but I know what I want to be. I want to be like you." She paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to describe Jack- both his talent for art and his zest for life.

"You see people."

Jack gazed at her for a moment, no longer smiling. He looked very serious now.

"I see you. And you know what you are? A miracle. You've gotta break free, Rose. You've gotta learn to fly."


	8. Make It Count

**A/N: Okay, first of all, I do NOT like this chapter. I thought about it and tried a bunch of different things and realized that no matter what, I was not going to find a way to mak this chapter something that I was particularly fond of. So here it is, and I hope it's not too awful.**

**On that note, I am finding that it is much easier, as well as a lot more fun, to write from Rose's point of view rather than Jack's, so you can expect a lot of that, I think.**

**Also, as far as updates go, it's now March Break, so I'm hoping to update more often then I have been. There will probably be another update tomorrow. If not, it'll be late Wednesday night or Thrusday morning. I'm and Irish dancer, and Wednesday is St Patrick's Day, so it's an absolute write-off. Thursday I have a two-and-a-half-hour road trip, which means I have two-and-a-half hours of nothing to do. Hopefully I'll get a lot of time to write then. Basically, I'm hoping to have at least Chapter 12 up by the end of the break, so we'll see how that goes.**

**And, finally, thanks again for reviewing! Here goes Chapter 8! :D**

Chapter Eight

52-11 111th Street

Flushing Meadow Park, New York City

Thank goodness for small miracles. It hadn't occurred to Jack that he had absolutely no idea what to wear or how to act or what to say at this dinner party Rose's mom was having. Somehow, by the grace of God, Cora's aunt Molly was one of Rose's people – in wealth, anyway. Certainly not in personality. In fact, her ex-husband was a business partner of Rose's late father, which meant that if Mrs DeWitt Bukater wanted to keep up the family's image, she had a duty to invite Molly to the night's affairs. She had been kind enough to let Jack borrow some clothes of her son's after bringing it to his attention that he owned absolutely nothing that would be appropriate.

Now, all dressed in a tuxedo with his hair slicked back, Jack was more ready than he ever would have been without Molly's help. He was also a thousand times more nervous. He hadn't thought about the practicalities of the night- how he would have to make himself seem worldly and well-mannered and poised and all of the things he most certainly was not. What was he going to say to Rose, and more importantly, to her mother and Caledon Hockley?

And speaking of him... he was the man who'd grabbed her in the art gallery. He was that 'family friend' who had been waiting for her at the restaurant. Now more than over, Jack wanted him dead. Couldn't he see that he was ruining Rose's life? Did he have any idea how much she was suffering at his hands? And if he did, did he care at all? Jack believed that marriage should be for love, not money or power or social status. Not only did Rose not love Cal, he clearly didn't love her, either.

He and Molly had been waiting in the entrance area of the Terrace on the Park for about ten minutes. Apparently the hostess was going to be fashionably late, but he didn't mind much. Never before had he seen such luxury all in one building. Although he stood in the foyer, where most people were coming in from, there was a grand, spiral staircase in the middle of the room that the hostess and her family were supposed to be entering. That meant that every single man in New York City's elite society was going to watch as Rose made her grand entrance, and every single one of those men was going to want to get to know her better, to say the least. That made Jack's skin crawl, but it also motivated him to make a good impression.

Hoping that no one would notice him, he practiced what he was going to say when he saw Rose.

"You look lovely tonight, Rose," he whispered to no one in particular. "Let me just say, Mrs DeWitt Bukater, that your necklace compliments your eyes. Ah, and you must Mr Hockley. Pleasure." Not that he wanted to say that at all- in fact, just the thought made his stomach turn over. Just that he thought it would appropriate.

Mostly, though, he was nervous about what to say to Rose. She'd obviously figured out by now that he had never been to anything like this before and had no idea how to act. He just hoped that he would be able to show her how amazing she was without embarrassing her in front of all these rich, stuck up people who would probably be judging every move she made. He continued to practice talking to her.

"And how are you this fine evening, Rose? That dress looks lovely on you. And your hair is gorgeous." Jack was so caught up in his fantasy that he just barely noticed as every head in the room turned to look at the angel that was gracefully making her way down the staircase. Oh, shit! Had she seen him talking to himself? The slightly bemused look on her face told him she had. Now he really looked like an idiot.

Rose, however, looked absolutely stunning. She worse a deep burgundy strapless gown that was covered in opalescent jewels. Her flowing red hair hung down her back, but her bangs were pinned back with sparkling diamonds. Cora was right- it was the exact colour of a rose in full bloom. Rather than walking, she appeared to be floating down the stairs. In fact, Jack would have forgotten that she had feet at all had it not been for her strappy silver heels peeping through the hemline of her dress once in a while.

To Jack's immediate pleasure, she was on her own. Cal was walking a few steps ahead of her, with a woman on his arm who could only have been Rose's mother. Although he was disgusted with himself for even thinking such a thing, he was sort of jealous of Cal. It made him feel awful because Cal was the force that was slowly chipping away at Rose's life, but still... at least he had her. For now, anyways.

"Hello, Jack," Rose said, smilingly politely at him.

"Good evening, Rose," he replied, taking her hand and gently kissing it. She tried to look somewhat confused, but Rose couldn't hide the blush that crept up her cheeks. Trying to make her feel a little bit less awkward, he shrugged and said, "Saw it in a movie once. I always wanted to try it."

Molly, who had approached the pair from behind, laughed heartily, which seemed to help Rose break out of her shell. It was interesting to Jack that Rose had grown up in this world, and yet she seemed hardly more comfortable in it than he did. Obviously she didn't like it, but at the same time, he'd sort of expected her to be used to it.

"See, Jack?" Molly asked. "It's not so hard, is it? Living like this!"

Jack looked up at Rose, really wishing Molly hadn't said that. Thankfully, Rose appeared not to have noticed, as she was still smiling at Molly.

"I guess not," he said, trying to sound more at ease than he was.

"Well, c'mon, guys! Let's not stand around here all day. The party's inside," Molly said.

Linking his arm in Rose's, Jack made his way through the hoard of people standing around in the foyer and the doorway of the banquet hall. Rose seemed to know everyone- she smiled and waved at them all as they passed. Jack had no idea how you could remember so many names and faces- his world was just himself and Fabrizio, and sometimes even that was too much. He was slowly beginning to understand what it was about these people that got so under her skin. They all looked so fake- fake smiles, fake laughs, fake hair... it was actually amazingly easy to tell which girls had extensions or whatever they were called in their hair and which ones didn't. The whole picture was such a huge, fabricated lie. It was a race to be better than the next person. Evidently, no one had stopped to think that maybe, if they all stopped being so fake, it would be so much easier for them all to be equal.

"See that girl over there?" Rose whispered to Jack, indicating a petite brunette about her age. "Her name is Madeline Astor. She's my age and we'll be coming out together at the same debutante ball." Jack didn't know what Rose meant by coming out, but it clearly wasn't what his first thought had been. Rose continued to whisper in his ear. "She's also carrying her boyfriend's baby. See how she's trying to hide it? Quite the scandal..."

As scandalous as it was, it didn't appear to stop Rose from approaching Madeline and greeting her with a warm smile. Jack decided then and there that he was never going to understand these people, and that his life, while far more simple, was also much more enjoyable. You didn't have to think about things- you just did them.

"Rose!" Madeline squealed, smiling that fake smile that Jack had noticed earlier. "So nice to see you! And who do we have here?" she asked, taking Jack in from head to toe, which made him very nervous. Was she judging him? Making a mental note about Rose, perhaps; that she wasn't really worth knowing because she went to parties without whoever she wanted to, rather than who would make her look good? A horrible thought occurred to Jack- what if he was destroying Rose's future? If he did something wrong tonight, she might not be allowed into the circles she'd grown up in. He really had to make a good impression now, not just for his sake, but for Rose's.

"Madeline, JJ," she said, turning to the man beside Madeline who must have been the boyfriend she'd spoken of, "I'd like you to meet Jack Dawson."

The man named JJ extended his hand to Jack and smiled. "Are you of the Boston Dawsons?" he asked, which meant absolutely nothing to Jack, except for the fact that he might have some long-lost rich relatives in Boston.

"Nope," he replied. "The Chippewa Falls Dawsons, actually."

JJ nodded, looking slightly curious but mostly approving, which told Jack that he had one-upped him. While Jack knew full while that the Chippewa Falls Dawsons were of no importance to these people, JJ evidently didn't. It seemed to Jack as though he had made him feel somewhat inadequate- how could a man of his social status not know who the Chippewa Falls Dawsons where? It took a great deal of effort on Jack's part not to burst out laughing.

He noticed that Madeline, still staring at him, was also whispering something in Rose's ear. She giggled, a gesture which Rose tried to replicate. She couldn't, however, wipe a look of utter disgust from her face, which made Jack want to know what Madeline had said really badly.

"Well, it's been lovely talking to you," Rose said, in a clear attempt to kill the thing dead before it got any bigger. "Good evening."

As soon as they were out of earshot, Jack whispered to Rose, "What the hell was that about?"

Looking back at Madeline and JJ as though to make absolutely sure that there was no way they would hear them, Rose leaned in closer to Jack and whispered back, ''She wants you is all. The men that we get stuck with are all ten years older than us and completely boring. We don't see people like you too often, and Madeline likes what she sees.''

The casual way in which Rose spoke only added to the shock of her words. Jack had been sure that everyone was going to hate him; that he was going to mess up in some way that would embarrass both himself and Rose. Just knowing that people here appreciated him in some way, even in a stupid, superficial way, made him a little bit more confident. Still, a voice in the back of his head told him that a pregnant 17-year-old debutante was going to be staring at him the entire night. How weird was that?

Rose continued to mingle and introduce Jack to a whole range of important people- businessmen, lawyers, models, TV anchormen... somehow, she knew all of their names. Jack could picture Rose sitting in a parlour at ten years old, being forced by her mother to memorize a list of names. From the few fleeting glances he'd gotten of Ruth DeWitt Bukater, it wasn't a hard image to conjure. In some ways- the flaming red hair, fair skin, small frame- Rose was a carbon copy of her mother. In others, they were complete opposites. Not that Jack was the type to judge people by appearances, but thus far Ruth was proving to be demanding, stuck up, delusional and snobbish- just like everybody else in her world, only fifty times worse. Jack was beginning to see why Rose hated her so much.

After about 15 minutes of mingling and idle chit-chat, the guests finally sat down to dinner. It hadn't occurred to Jack so far that Rose had never explained exactly what sort of party this was- just that her mother was giving it and that it was probably going to be really boring. It all started to make sense, however, when Ruth stood up at her place at the table and clanged her spoon against her glass.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" she declared, instantly silencing the buzz of conversation.

Rose leaned in close to Jack and whispered, "She's going to embarrass me. Whatever she says, don't clap, okay?"

Jack just nodded, to afraid to open his mouth while Ruth had the floor. She might set him on fire later.

"Friends, guests, I would first of all like to say thank you," Ruth continued, in the snobbiest voice Jack had ever heard. "Thank you all for joining us tonight to celebrate the young lives and bright futures of our beautiful daughters. At this time I would like to acknowledge Jessica Lynn McFarland..." There was a brief pause as people clapped haphazardly. "Abigail Nicole Fox..." More clapping... "Grace Amelia Enns... Sarah Lindsay Jraige... Christina Hailey Gaspard... and, the most amazing young woman I know, my daughter, Rose Elizabeth DeWitt Bukater."

The crowd continued clapping, a little bit more enthusiastically now. Jack wondered how painful it was for Ruth to lie like that, when she evidently didn't care about her daughter in the least. Oh well. She had an image to maintain, after all.

Rose rolled her eyes and glared at Jack, as though trying to tell him, _'See what I mean?'_ If Ruth noticed, she didn't make any mention of it. She continued with her stupid speech.

"I would also like to take this opportunity to make an announcement."

All of a sudden, Rose looked pale and shaky. Had something happened that she'd forgotten to tell him? Jack felt a sudden urge to reach under the table and grab her hand, to tell that it was going to be okay. Of course he couldn't do that; not now, while everybody was staring at her. Her breaths came in short, tight gasps and her eyes wandered all over the place. Whatever was about to happen, Rose didn't like it at all. Jack wanted more than anything to take all of the pain and suffering away, to make her feel like a normal person for once in her life.

"My daughter, Rose, has become engaged to Mr Caledon Hockley. They will be married in the summer. Congratulations, Rose and Cal!"

Oh, God. Now he understood the desperate look on Rose's face. Cal took her forcefully by the hand and they both stood up at the table. He smiled sheepishly, looking utterly full of himself. Rose, on the other hand, looked like she was going to throw up. She tried to fake a smile, but she couldn't do it to save her life. Jack wanted to stand up right then and there, grab Rose by the hand and run away with her to a place where none of this bullshit mattered. They would run away from Ruth, from Cal, from this absolutely disastrous marriage... just from everything.

After what felt like an eternity, Cal and Rose finally sat back down and the food was served. They started with salads, during which time Ruth took every opportunity she could find to interrogate Jack. All around them, everyone was talking about how superior they were- how much more money they had, how much more beautiful their girlfriend was, how much more famous their family was... for what must have been the first time in her life, Ruth was not interested in any of that. She cared only about making Jack look like an absolute idiot. Rose, for her part, acted surprisingly strong for a person who must have been dying inside. She tried her best to field every one of her mother's questions, for which Jack was extremely thankful. Maybe someday Ruth would take a page from her daughter's book.

"So, Mr Dawson," Ruth said, taking in every inch of him with a critical eye, "what do you do for a living?"

"Jack's an artist, Mother," Rose piped up before Jack had the chance to answer. "And a brilliant one at that."

"That's interesting," Cal said, although his tone conveyed otherwise. "The difference between Rose's taste in art and mine is that I have some."

Jack laughed, trying to ignore the deliberate insults. He really didn't care what these people thought of him any more- so long as he didn't embarrass Rose, he didn't care.

"I'm not really much of an artist," he explained. "Rose is just being complimentary. I sketch people in Central Park and sell the pictures to them. It doesn't make a lot of money but it's enough to live on. Besides, I never really know how long I'm going to be in one place. I was in Paris before I came here, and I traveled all over the Midwest before that."

Ruth grimaced, which only made Jack feel more satisfied with himself. "And you find that sort of rootless existence appealing?"

Jack shrugged. He'd seen a life gone to waste before- dreams postponed in order to keep up with the world, and he never wanted to be any part of that.

"Well," he explained, "it's a big world, and I want to see all of it before I go. My father was always talkin' about goin' to see the ocean. He died in the town he was born in, and never did see it. You can't wait around, cause you never know what hand you're going to get dealt with next. See, my folks died in a fire when I was fifteen, and I've been on the road ever since. Something like that teaches you to take life as it comes at you. To make each day count."

His words appeared to have shocked Ruth, or at least quieted her into submission. Evidently, she'd never before thought that a person of his social status could know anything about life. Molly Brown was the first to speak once he'd finished.

Raising her glass, she exclaimed, "Well said Jack!"

Rose echoed Molly's gesture. Everything about her was so beautiful... the way her long, delicate fingers wrapped themselves around her glass. The way her eyes lit up when she looked at him. Even the stray flyaways that hung down her face... she was just the most gorgeous creature he'd ever seen. As she spoke, her beautiful, loving smile reached her eyes and warmed Jack's heart.

"To making it count."

For some reason, that reminded him of something he'd forgotten about in all of the night's commotion. Cora. Shit! He was supposed to go to that thing tonight! The grandfather clock on the other side of the room told him that it was now 6:30. Earlier that day, Tommy had told him that their party would be starting at four. Jack had already told them he'd be late, but he hadn't meant two and a half hours late!

People were starting to file out now, so he figured that, especially considering he wasn't anyone of any importance to Ruth and her like, he would be safe to leave.

"Umm, if you folks don't mind, I really should be on my way. I wouldn't want to wear out my welcome any longer."

"Have a good night then, Dawson," Cal said, clearly not about to start missing him any time soon. Rose, on the other hand, looked less than pleased to see him go.

Rising from her seat, she asked Jack, "Will I see you tomorrow, then?" The spark of hope in her eyes filled Jack with happiness.

"Of course," he replied, taking her hand and gently placing his lips on it, just like he had earlier. Then, without a word, he turned on his heels and walked out of the room, leaving Rose utterly confused.

He had put a piece of paper in her hand- she'd felt it. In fact, it was still there. What did it say? What if her mother saw it? Worse, what if Cal saw it? She turned away from the group and opened up the folded slip of paper underneath the table cloth. What it said made her heart jump up in her chest. She could do this- she really could. She could make her life worth something.

_Make it count_

_76__th__ and 3__rd_


	9. Caledonia

**A/N: Alright, so as far as I know there are no suburbs on Manhattan Island, but I took a little liberty here in putting one in. If, by chance, there is one, that's even better! Also, in reference to the title... my friends and I were listening to this song a while back and I was just dying to put it in this story. It seems to really fit them (even though it's talking about a country- I think we can just put that aside for a little while), plus I love it! Does anybody else think it's a little ironic, though, that if you take of the 'ia' it says Caledon? Just a random observation.**

**Again, thanks so much for those who review. It keeps me motivated. And special thanks to the people who told me the last chapter was not suckish. I was in a frazzled mood yesterday, and looking back, it's not nearly as bad as I thought it. So thank you. :)**

**101Twilight fan – Still being in school and realizing what a risk that was, that means a lot. LOL Thanks.**

**This one is dedicated to the twins' dad, because you just sing it so much better!**

Chapter Nine

74th and 3rd

For a September night, the air was surprisingly warm as Rose made her way to the corner of 76th and 3rd. She had no idea why she was going there or what sort plan Jack had in store- only that she was going to see him again, and that she couldn't wait. It had been only about forty minute since he'd left the party, but to Rose, it felt like an eternity.

As soon as she'd read the note Jack had slipped into her hand, she excused herself to restroom and never came back. It was such a relief to get out of that torture chamber. Never in a million years had she imagined her mother embarrassing her like that. Cal had been in their apartment to make the official proposal when she arrived home from school that afternoon, and she had no choice but to accept. As her mother so often reminded her, their future was depending on it. There had been a reason she hadn't told Jack though; while she knew it was pretty much impossible, Rose had this grand fantasy of running away with Jack and living the rest of her life with him in Santa Monica or Paris or really anywhere that wasn't New York City. She hadn't wanted him to know she was engaged because she wanted him to pursue her. Now what was he going to do? There was no point in vying for a girl who was already engaged! As stupid as it was, especially since she'd only known him a day, Rose felt that she may possible be in love with Jack, if love was what she thought it was. She didn't think she could bear to watch him walk away.

And yet walk away he most certainly wasn't doing. Wherever he was going tonight, he wanted her to go, too. He hadn't given up on her yet, and hopefully he never would.

Just as he had said he'd be, Jack was waiting for her at the street corner. He was facing the opposite direction, but he must have heard Rose's heels against the ground because he turned around to look at her as she approached him.

Smiling coyly, as though he knew a beautiful and magical secret that she didn't, he asked, "Want to go to a real party?"

"What?" she asked, totally confused. "Jack, where are we going?"

Ignoring her question, Jack grabbed Rose by the hand and started to walk down the street towards a suburb. Rose had never seen a suburb in her life, but they were exactly like movies made them seem- quaint, picturesque, with little kids playing on lawns and their parents sitting on the front porch, watching them intently. It was so heartwarming that she almost forgot her frustration with Jack for dragging her around without telling her what was going on.

"Jack!" she squealed, trying her hardest not to burst out in girlish laughter. "Jack! You tell me where you're taking me right now or I'm going back!"

As if. She would follow him wherever he went, even if she was blindfolded and handcuffed and shoved into a tiny box in the trunk of a car... as long as Jack was driving!

"Shhh, Rose!" Jack exclaimed. "I know the concept seems foreign to you, but this is a suburb. Here, people actually like peace and quiet." His tone sounded serious, but he couldn't hide the adorable grin that spread across his face, letting Rose know that he was only joking. "And I already told you; we're going to a party."

Rose rolled her eyes and continued to follow Jack. As the turned corner after corner, they were going deeper into a world that Rose had always dreamed of being a part of. All around them, children rode their bikes, dogs chased their tales and not one single person wore a fake smile. They were all genuine. Her desire to live like that was so strong that her eyes welled up with tears, surprising even herself. She had to swallow the lump that was developing in her throat, though, because she knew that if she started crying now, it would just ruin whatever Jack had planned.

Finally, Jack stopped running in front of a long driveway that was full of cars. The house they were in front of was quite large, standing probably three storeys high, with a garden and big bay windows. The owners obviously had money, but it was also obvious that they had better things to spend it only than expensive dresses and expensive parties and expensive limousines. Rose wondered who it belonged to, and how Jack knew them, whoever they were.

"Well, we're here," Jack said, ringing the doorbell. "I think you're gonna have fun."

"Of course I am," Rose said, smiling. She was with him, after all.

Momentarily, somebody answered the door. It was the man from earlier that day... the man Jack had introduced as Tommy Ryan. Things were slowly beginning to make sense. Maybe he was the one giving this party. That seemed alright to Rose- Tommy had seemed very nice, and not uptight in the least. Maybe she really was going to a real party.

"Jack!" he exclaimed. "Ye made it! Cora's gonna be thrilled. But tell me, what's with the clothes?" he asked once he realized what Jack was wearing.

Jack shook his head and laughed. "I'll explain later. You remember Rose, right, Tommy?"

"Of course I do. Pretty hard to forget, if I do say so myself." Tommy winked at her before turning around and calling out into the house, "Cora! Jack's here!"

Right on cue, tiny footsteps bounded down the stairs and into the foyer. Rose recognized Cora's brilliant head of curly hair, a lot like hers had been at that age, only darker. She really was one of the cutest kids she'd ever seen, and the way she idolized Jack was absolutely adorable.

"Jack!" she squealed, jumping into his waiting arms. "I've been waiting for you all day! Daddy told me you were gonna be here later, and I said that was okay because I was just going to wait in my room until you got here! So I did, and then everybody came, and they started playing music, and I wanted to go down but I stayed in my room because I said I was going to, and now you finally came! And you brought Rose!"

Rose wondered how long Jack had known Cora. They were so close that it seemed as though they must have known each other her entire life. That wasn't possible, though, because she was no more than six or seven, if even that, and Jack would have been off traveling the world when she was a toddler. The bond their shared melted her heart- she wished she could have had someone like that to love when she was younger. Everything about this new world that Jack was showing her seemed thrilling and exotic. Everybody loved each other so much. Before meeting Jack, Rose didn't even know it was possible to love anyone that much, let alone a whole bunch of people.

"You didn't think I was gonna forget ya, did you Cora?" Jack asked, messing with her hair a little bit.

Cora shrugged. "I'm just glad you came. C'mon guys, let's go outside!"

Tommy led the group through a living room and kitchen and out into a huge backyard. To Rose's surprise, it was filled with people who were chatting, eating, even swimming- in a pool! Rose had swam in hotel pools before, but she'd never met a person that had a pool in their backyard before! Ironically, given her upbringing and all, Rose felt that she had stepped into the lap of luxury. These people, friends and relations of Cora and her family- they were real people! Real, happy, genuine people, just relaxing and having a good time.

In the far corner of the perfectly groomed yard was a two-man band playing what sounded to Rose like Irish folk songs. A couple of people were dancing to the music on a large patio. She felt an instant longing to get up there and dance with them- with Jack- but she would never have the guts to actually do it.

"Well, guys," Tommy said to Jack and Rose, "this is it. The big soiree. There's a cooler over there," he said, gesturing a red ice box next to the band, "and there's food on the tables. Ye can help yourself, I s'pose. I've gotta go and help Cora's parents inside, but I'm sure she'll show you around, right Cora?"

Cora nodded happily, if not a little bit impatiently. Whatever her plans were, her uncle's presence was clearly destroying them. Once he was well out of ear shot, she turned to Jack and said, "I love this song! Will you dance with me?"

Rose couldn't help but smile at her innocence. She would have liked to have thought that there was a time when she herself had been like Cora, but the truth was that there wasn't. As far back as she could remember, Rose had been groomed for the role of a high society debutante. She never really had fun- not like this, anyway.

Jack looked at Rose apologetically. "Is that okay, Rose? I don't want to leave you standing there all-"

"It's, fine, Jack," she said with a smile. "Really. Go on, go have fun! I'm gonna go get something to drink."

"Alright then, kiddo," Jack said, returning his gaze to Cora's tiny face, "let's dance!"

For a minute, Rose watched the man twirl the little girl around, in awe of the beautiful display in front of her. Jack's heart must have been six times bigger than any normal person's, because he was amazingly capable of love. The most amazing part was that Jack had no idea how wonderful he was. He didn't even know that he's saved her life- he truly believed that she wouldn't have jumped last night on the Brooklyn Bridge. And maybe, given the opportunity, she wouldn't have, but now they never had to find out, all thanks to Jack. Everything good in her life was thanks to Jack.

Not wanting to become too emotional in front of all these people she didn't even know, Rose turned around to get something to drink. Maybe because it was all she knew, she was expecting the cooler to be filled with bottled water, she was pleasantly surprised to find it full of pop- 7Up, root beer, Coke... all of that stuff that she'd never been allowed to drink. It was too fattening, her mother would say. Bad for her teeth. Bad for her stomach lining, whatever that meant. Well, her mother wasn't here to stop her now! Rose grabbed a can of 7Up, having absolutely no idea what it tasted like but knowing that a lot of her friends loved it, and sat down at a table in front of the patio.

Pulling the tap off the can, she took her first sip, and found it to b e surprisingly disgusting. It sort of tickled her tongue, only not in good way, and it burned her throat going down. Rose had never tasted toxic waste before, but she imagined it might be a little something like that. Okay, maybe her mother had been right about one thing. Pop was definitely not a good thing.

Reaching behind her and placing the can as far away as possible, Rose continued to watch Jack spin Cora around the makeshift dance floor, swaying back and forth to the music. The song was one she was pretty sure she recognized- Whiskey in the Jar, it might have been called- although she didn't remember where from. The whole vibe was so lively that Rose couldn't help but laugh and clap along to the beat. For the first time that she could remember, she felt really and truly alive.

When the song ended, Jack knelt down in front of Cora and said, rather loudly because the band hand already started playing another song, "I'm gonna dance with Rose now, okay?"

Cora nodded obligingly, but the look on her face told Rose that she was less than thrilled. God, that girl was cute.

"C'mon Rose," Jack encouraged, "it'll be fun."

Of course it would be fun. It was be absolutely lovely and amazing and beautiful and everything she'd ever hope for in her wildest dreams. But she was going to make herself look like a complete idiot. Rose knew how to dance- she'd done ballet from the age of four until she was thirteen, and all types of ballroom dancing were part of the weekly cotillion lessons that her mother insisted on putting her through. Still, that wasn't the same as what these people were doing. She had no idea how to dance like that.

"No, Jack!" she protested as he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her onto the patio. "I don't know the steps!"

"Neither do I," Jack said with a laugh. "Just go with it!"

Rose continued to protest. "No, Jack! This is ridiculous!"

That, however, did not stop Jack from putting his other hand around her waist and leading her into the group of dancing people. Cora just stood there, unmoving, looking somewhat resentful.

Jack must have noticed, because he said, "Don't worry, Cora. You're still my best girl."

With that, he led Rose deeper into the crowd of dancing people. At first they were a little bit awkward- neither one of them knew what they were doing, and they appeared to be equally uncoordinated. Soon, though, Rose felt herself growing comfortable in Jack's arms. His hand felt warm and strong around her waist, and his smile was contagious. The music filled her up completely, and before she knew it she was throwing her head back in laughter like everybody else. She wasn't ready for what Jack came up with next, though.

He let go of her waist and grabbed her other hand so that they arms were crossed over. Without warning, he began to spin her around like a top. It was so exhilarating, so exciting... but so dangerous.

"Jack!" she squealed. "Jack, stop it! We're going to get hurt!"

Jack, it seemed, would have no part of it. He didn't say a word; just continued to spin them around in an ever-faster circle.

"Jack!" Rose cried again, but this time she doubted that he even heard her over the music, which seemed to be getting louder and louder. She decided not to bother with it any longer, just enjoying the sensation of going around and around and around, not having a care in the world, holding the hands of the man she believed she was beginning to fall in love with.

The song ended much too quickly for Rose's liking, and Jack, still holding her hand, escorted her back to where Cora was now sitting patiently, waiting for her knight in shining armour to return. Jack went over to talk with Cora's father, leaving her and Rose alone together. Rose was still evidently dizzy and not fully back down to earth, but that didn't stop Cora from jumping on here immediately with questions.

"How come Jack likes you so much?" asked the little girl, eyeing Rose suspiciously.

For her part, Rose had no idea how to respond. First of all, she didn't really know what Cora had meant by the question, and even if she did, she didn't know how to explain the situation to a six-year-old. What was she supposed to say? That her mother was making her marry a man twice her age so she was going to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge but Jack saved her now she wished that she could spend the rest of her life with him? Yeah right!

"What do you mean, Cora?" she asked, dancing around the root of the question. "Me and Jack are friends. He likes you, doesn't he? And your uncle? Jack's just a nice person."

Cora rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips, looking exasperated. "Not like you," she explained, as though she was the adult talking to a six-year-old rather than the other way around. "He stares at you all the time. How come? Is it because you're so pretty?"

Oh, right. _That_ kind of like. It had even occurred to Rose that Cora might notice such a thing, especially since she herself hadn't. She had suspected- or rather hoped- that Jack might see her as more than a teenager who was in way over her head, but she'd never noticed him staring at her before. The thing inside of her that had been floating gently since she'd first laid eyes on Jack started to turn somersaults.

"Well, Cora," Rose whispered, trying to make the girl feel very important, "Can I tell you a secret?"

Cora nodded enthusiastically and moved a little bit closer to Rose.

"I just met Jack last night. I was looking over the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge- you know what that is, right?- so, I was looking over the edge and I almost fell in. Jack saved my life. So that's why he stares at me- he's thinking that if it wasn't for him, I could have died."

God, that was an awful lie. Looking down at Cora's little face, so completely immersed in awe, she felt a piece of her soul turn black. Lying to children was not a very nice thing to do.

"Oh," Cora said quietly, as though it all made sense now. Rose's haphazard explanation seemed to have brought her back to her usual cheerful demeanour. Kids could bounce back so fast. "Well, whatever you say, Rose. I still think he likes you."

_I hope so,_ Rose thought, but she didn't say it out loud. She sat in silence for a long time, Cora cuddled up beside her. She didn't remember when she had stopped being like Cora, if she had ever been at all- so trusting, so loving. Everyone she met was like her best friend. How fortunate she was to be growing up in a world where it was safe to trust people with your secrets and hopes and dreams. Rose hoped that Cora would never have to leave that place; that she would never know anything but comfort and happiness.

The sun was almost fully set now, but the party was still going strong. The lively music was surely part of what kept people going, along with refreshing dips in the pool. Rose really wanted to jump in it and just stay there for the rest of the night, but her attire was hardly appropriate. Someday, she told herself, she and Jack might visit Cora and her family again, and then they could go swimming. Already, she couldn't wait for that day to come.

Jack finished his conversation with Mr Cartmell and made his way over to Rose and Cora, who's eyes where slowly closing as she tried to stifle a yawn.

"Gettin tired, Cora?" Jack asked, lifting her up and sitting her down in his lap. He took her place next to Rose and let her rest her tired little head on his shoulder. He was so good with her that Rose couldn't help but think that he would make an excellent father someday to some lucky woman's children.

"You know, Jack," Rose said, unable to hide her smile, "I really did have a lot of fun tonight- way more than I would have had waiting around for Mother to talk to every single one of her guests. So thank you. For everything."

Jack didn't say anything for a long time- he just looked deep into Rose's green eyes, and she, in turn, gazed into his bright blue ones. For a moment, it was like there was only them, the sky, and the music. The tone of the music had changed now, and the band was singing a soft, slow song that Rose didn't recognize. She tried to listen, really listen, to the words.

_I don't know if you can see  
The changes that have come over me  
In these last few days I've been afraid  
That I might drift away_

Jack appeared to be listening to them to, because he whispered in Rose's ear, "Would you like to dance?"

This time there were no excuses. Any thirteen-year-old at their eighth grade graduation knew how to slow dance. Still, she tried her hardest to find one.

"What about Cora?" she asked quietly, indicating the girl who was now sleeping in Jack's arms. "Are you just gonna leave her here?"

"Trust me, Rose," he explained. "She can stay right where she is. It'll be fine." Still holding Cora with one arm, he stood up and extended the other one out to Rose. There was nothing for her to say now, no way out. Not that she wanted there to be. It was just that all her life, decisions had been made for her, and while she didn't like it, it made things a lot easier. She never had to take responsibility for her actions. What if she made a mistake? She'd never had to face that before.

She didn't really get to think too hard about it, because she was standing up, wrapped in Jack's arms before she knew it. In one of his strong arms he held Cora, now fast asleep, and the other was resting on Rose's waist. Following his lead, she placed on hand on Jack's shoulder and rested the other on Cora's head of curly hair. They said nothing... there was nothing to say. Rose still listened to the words of the song as she laid her head down on Jack's shoulder.

_I've been telling old stories, singing songs  
That make me think about where I've come from  
That's the reason why I seem  
So far away today._

There were a lot of other couples dancing as well, some of them even on the grass, but to Rose, Jack was the only other person in the universe. Everything about such a picture-perfect moment filled her entire existence with a joy that she'd never felt before. The rustling wind that danced in and out of the trees, the cool stillness of the night air, the warmth of Jack's body pressed against hers...

Against her better judgement, she allowed herself to picture this very image ten years down the road, only with their own daughter perched between them instead of Cora. Neither her mother nor Cal were there to stop her from imagining. Even if it could never be true, she could always, always imagine.

_Let me tell you that I love you  
That I think about you all the time  
Caledonia, you're calling me, now I'm going home  
But if I should become a stranger  
Know that it would make me more than sad  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had_

"You're beautiful," Jack whispered in her ear. His voice sent shivers down her spine and that thing inside of her floated up towards her chest. She was absolutely speechless. Jack Dawson thought she was beautiful. Nothing else in the world mattered. For what felt like the millionth time in the last twenty-four hours, she felt tears beginning to develop behind her eyes.

_Now I have moved and I've kept on moving  
Proved the points that I needed proving  
Lost the friends that I needed losing  
Found others on the way_

Rose decided then and there that from that day on, she wasn't going to let anything get in the way of the life that she wanted to lead- the life with a job and a house and a family and a man who loved her. The life that she wanted to lead with Jack beside her.

She didn't have to marry Cal if she didn't want to. It was the 21st century, for goodness sake! She could do whatever she wanted to. She was going to wake up first thing tomorrow morning and tell her mother that the engagement was off, that she was going to apply to university and that she was in love with Jack. That was just way it was and if her mother didn't like it, then that was her problem.

Rose _was_ in love with Jack. If she hadn't known it earlier that night, she knew it now. It seemed so crazy- loving someone you'd only just met. But at the same time, it felt right.

_Let me tell you that I love you  
That I think about you all the time  
Caledonia, you're calling me, now I'm going home  
But if I should become a stranger  
Know that it would make me more than sad  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had_

Jack really was her reason for living. She couldn't wait to be with him- not that morning, sitting in her stupid English class; not that afternoon, as she got ready for her mother's dinner party; not that night as she made her way to the corner of 76th and 3rd.

Rose had grown up in a world where people controlled everything she did, and for a lot of years she thought that was the way the entire world worked. She never liked it, not since she could remember, but she tolerated it anyway. Since meeting Jack, it was as though she'd met a long-lost relative or something. Finally, someone in her life made her feel like she was at home, in the place where she was meant to be.

_Now I'm sitting here before the fire  
The empty room, the forest choir  
The flames have cooled, don't get any higher  
They've withered, now they've gone  
But I'm steady thinking, my way is clear  
And I know what I will do tomorrow  
When hands have shaken, the kisses float  
Then I will disappear_

As they continued to move around in a little circle, it was as though the whole world had stopped. The breeze was calming down and there was no noise from the pool behind them. Even Cora, who still slept in Jack's arm, was beginning to breath more and more quietly. Never in her life had Rose felt more appreciated, more needed, more loved, then she did now.

Just as all little girls did, Rose used to dream of being a princess locked up in a tower and a knight in shining armour coming to save her from the dragon in the dungeon below. Earlier, she'd thought about Jack as being Cora's knight, but maybe he was hers, too. Maybe she was finally getting the fairytale she'd always dreamed of.

_Let me tell you that I love you  
That I think about you all the time  
Caledonia, you're calling me, now I'm going home  
But if I should become a stranger  
Know that it would make me more than sad  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had_

_Caledonia's been everything I've ever had  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had_


	10. Forever Stained

**Ooh, look, guys! Chapter Ten! I know it's not as long as the last two, but I think it's pretty good anyways.**

**Chipmunk2010- Gotcha... less Cora, more Fabri. I know I've said it like a gazillion times and you probably don't believe me but ****I promise****, Fabrizio is coming. Personally, I know Cora's in here way more than she's in the actual story, but I've always loved those precocious little kid characters and I don't know why. But okay, I'll try to think about that.**

**Oh, and by the way, I FINALLY saw Shutter Island. For anybody who hasn't seen it yet, if there are any of you out there, go and watch it as soon as you can!**

**Thanks for reviewing, as usual.**

Chapter Ten

The Penthouse Suite

#400 East 67th Street

The sunlight peeked in through Rose's bedroom windows at far too ungodly an hour for her liking. She was still so tired from the night before- she hadn't gotten home until midnight, when she discovered that her mother was already asleep. Oh yeah, she was great mom alright. Your seventeen-year-old daughter leaves to go the bathroom at 6:30 in the evening in New York City and doesn't come home, and you just go to bed and sleep. Not that it mattered, really, because the night had been an absolute dream.

Rose rolled over onto her back, still thinking about dancing the night away in Jack's arm, a peaceful smile fixed on her face. The smile disappeared quickly though when she saw, to her utter shock and complete repulsion, that Caledon Hockley was standing at the foot of her bed.

"I demand to know where you were last night, Rose," he said. His tone was calm, but the way tips of his ears were turning red gave away his true disposition. "You made me look like a complete fool."

It took Rose a moment to get over the fact that Cal was standing in here room. No one but her family had ever been in her bedroom before, and her father had been the only man who even knew what colour the walls were painted. For a second, she was completely disgusted, until she realized that they were engaged now. They were a couple, and in all technicalities, he could come into her room whenever he wanted to. She really didn't know which thought bothered her more- the idea of a man she barely knew watching her sleep, or the idea of being engaged to Cal.

Then she remembered the decision she'd made the night before. The decision not to allow anyone to run her life but her. She could fabricate some intricate lie about feeling sick and then just going home to sleep, or she could tell the truth. Personally, Rose was tired of lying. It was now or never.

"I was with Jack," she said, sounding braver than she felt. She sat up but pulled the covers a little higher, still insecure about Cal seeing her in nothing but a tank top and pajama bottoms. "We went to this party and I had a really good time."

For a moment, Cal said nothing. Rose hoped beyond hope that he truly wasn't angry with her and that he was able to see reason. Far from it.

After a brief silence, he raised his voice slightly and said, "How dare you. How dare you, Rose? You mother spent a lot of time and a lot of good money on making you look good last night- money which we both know you don't really have, might I add. Money which will all be paid back by me! You are such a selfish little slut!"

Cal was shouting now, and his face had gone entirely red. Rose had never been called that before, and it cut her deeply. He was starting to get scary, she had to admit, but she wasn't going to let him get to her. She was going to stand her ground, for the first time in her life.

"You're being really unfair, Cal," she said calmly. "I didn't do anything wrong, and I don't care about your money. We're engaged, Cal; you have to be able to trust me to live me own life."

There. She'd said it. The sentence she'd been dreaming of saying her entire life. Part of her was genuinely afraid of what Cal was going to do next, but another part of her felt utterly relieved. The breath she took in that moment felt like the first breath she'd ever taken. She was her own person now, no matter what anyone said.

"We're... we're engaged..." Cal stammered, trying to collect his thoughts. "We're engaged!" he declared again, more forcefully this time. "Exactly my point! You are this close to being my wife, Rose. That means that we're a union. We're together. It means you can't run off with some guy you picked up of the goddamn street, do you understand, Rose?"

"I can do whatever I want."

All of the colour drained from Cal's face as she said that, and more a moment, she felt instantly gratified. The feeling didn't last long though, because before she knew it, he had flown into some sort of jealous, psychotic rage. He was picking things up off her dresser and hurling them across the room, screaming obscenities all the while, leaving Rose to wonder what in the world she had done. All of a sudden, all of her fantasies from the previous night were gone and reality came crashing down on her. She was never going to be with Jack, and now she was probably never going to be with Cal either. She had ruined everything. She had allowed one magical night to enthral her mind and rob her of all logic. Now there was nothing for her to do but sit there as Cal threw things at the walls. A bottle of deep red nail polish hit the headboard behind her, dangerously close to her head. It shattered, and Rose watched in horror as its contents slowly dripped down her headboard and onto her sheets. It looked so much like blood.

Cal drew closer to her, causing Rose to cringe. He grabbed the blanket out of her tightly clenched hands and threw it onto the floor, leaving her feeling utterly exposed. She let out a high-pitched yelp as he grabbed her firmly and painfully by the shoulder.

"Do you understand me Rose?" he yelled, so close to her now that she could feel the beads of sweat dripping from his face. Yes, she understood. She understood that Cal didn't care about her at all. She understood that he didn't love her and never would. And she understood that none of that mattered anymore. As long as Cal could hurt her, he had power over her. That was the way of the world.

Rose didn't know how to respond. She just sat there, shaking, while Cal stood over her, his hot breath tickling her skin. When he finally let go of her shoulders, she felt her body go limp. Cal turned on his heels and stomped out of the room, leaving Rose alone with her tears.

For a long time, she couldn't even think. She lay on her side, trying to will away the worsening pain in her shoulders and watching the dark nail polish create a stream of red onto her sheets. It seeped through the thin cotton, probably staining the mattress by now. Rose's salty tears mixed in with the blood-coloured trail of nail polish, creating a really awful mess.

She had no idea what time it was- school would probably be starting soon; within the hour anyway. Like she cared. She wasn't going to school today. If her mother ever bothered to come in and check on her, she'd tell her she was feeling sick and that she planned on staying in bed. Not that that would happen any time soon.

Shaking with sobs, Rose felt like a complete fool. She had set herself up for this- she knew it last night. _She never had to take responsibility for her actions. What if she made a mistake? _Well, it looked now as though she'd done just that. If her mother ever found out, which she probably would, because Cal was probably telling her right now, her life would be ruined. She would never be allowed to see Jack again. She was going to marry Cal, just like she'd sort of always knew she would.

_You didn't think you'd actually make it out, did you?_ a voice in the back of her head sneered at her. _You always knew that you were going to end up stuck here, with Cal and your mother for the rest of your life._

And it was true, wasn't it? She'd been so stupid for ever dreaming of a future with Jack. She'd been stupid for even falling for him in the first place, knowing him only for a day and all. Oh, God, how could she have been so stupid? All along, she'd just been setting herself up for a world of hurt. In a way, she wished Jack had never saved her from jumping off the bridge. Not only would she not have to marry Cal, she wouldn't have to suffer through losing the only person she ever really cared about.

Eventually, the tears stopped pouring out of her eyes. It was as though there were no more emotions left in her body for her to feel. She rolled over onto her back and, looking up at the ceiling, wondered for the millionth time in her life how she, of all people, ended up here.

A few minutes later, there was a soft knock at her door.

"Rose," she heard her mother's voice say, "may I come in?"

Part of her didn't want to see her mother- the woman who had put her into this situation in the first place. But the part of her heart that had learned to trust over the last few days heard a different side of Ruth; a sympathetic side.

"Go ahead," she said, sitting back up against her headboard.

Ruth opened the door and walked quietly into her daughter's room, sitting down on the bed next to her. She was silent for a long time, making Rose think that she was searching for the right words to express her unimaginable grief over all the pain she'd put her daughter through over her seventeen years.

Sighing quietly, she said, "What's wrong Rose? Why are you still in bed?"

Maybe, by some miracle, Cal hadn't told Ruth about where Rose had been the night before. Thank goodness for small miracles!

"I don't feel well, Mother," she explained, trying to put her best 'sick and in pain' face on. She didn't want to get out of bed just yet. What she wanted to do was lay on for a bit, and when she was sure her mother was busy with other things, pack up a few essentials and head out the fire escape. She planned to go to Central Park and find Jack, tell him what had happened with Cal, tell him that she loved him... Then they could run away to Santa Monica together, never again to deal with the world they'd left behind. "I don't think I want to go to school today, honestly."

Ruth didn't say anything. She just shuffled over closer to her daughter and held her hand. Was this really happening? Was she showing Rose something a little bit like love and compassion? The rare emotional display gave Rose the courage to ask the question that had been bouncing around her mind since last night. If Cal hadn't told Ruth where she'd been, and her mother really did love her (for now, anyway), then there'd be no reason for her to object.

"Hey, Mom?" she asked slowly, hoping Ruth wouldn't notice that she'd called her Mom and not Mother, "I was wondering... you know how you invited Uncle Eric and Aunt May to my coming out party, but they can't come? Well... that means we have two extra seats out our table, right? So I was wondering if maybe... if maybe Jack could come..."

Ruth sighed quietly. Was she really thinking about it? Was she really, for the first time, going to give her daughter the chance to do something she wanted to do?

"Rose..." she whispered softly, "you are not to see that boy again, do you understand me?"

What? Had that just happened? Despite everything she knew about her mother, Rose found that hard to believe. All of a sudden, the oddest sensation developed in her chest. It was as though she couldn't breathe- as though her lungs were being tied up and bound together. She inhaled and exhaled, but it was as the airflow stopped at her breastbone.

What sort of idiot had she been to hope that her mother, of all people, would understand? Of course she hadn't come in here to be kind and sympathetic- that wasn't like Ruth at all. She was just taking another opportunity to remind her daughter that the money was all gone, and that that burden now rested on her shoulders. She'd probably heard every word that had gone on between Rose and Cal- it had definitely been loud enough. Rose couldn't think straight. She said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Oh, stop it, Mother. You'll give yourself a nosebleed."

As soon as those words came out of her mouth, she regretted it. When Ruth jumped up from her seat on the bed and locked the bedroom door, she regretted it even more. Still standing against the door, as though to barricade it from anyone who might want to come in, Ruth glared at her daughter. If looks could kill, Rose would have been severely injured by this one.

"Rose, this is not a game!" she said, her voice growing steadily louder with every word. "Our situation is precarious. You know the money's gone!"

Of course she knew the money was gone. She heard it every second of every day- when she wasn't being reminded by her mother, she was listening to that little voice in the back of her head that told her it was all resting on her shoulders... everything her father had worked for, everything the DeWitt Bukater name meant... it was all piled on her shoulders, as though she was her mother's pack mule. Well, no longer!

"Of course I know it's gone," she spat out, appalled. "You remind me every day!"

Ruth sighed deeply, as though she was trying to understand how in the world she had gotten stuck with a daughter so selfish. It was quite amazing that no matter what happened; no matter what either of them said, neither mother nor daughter ever understood one another.

"Your father left us nothing but a legacy of bad debts hidden behind a good name. And that is the only card we have to play." There was no sadness in her voice, no regret... just anger and disappointment with her daughter.

She stopped for a moment, as though expecting Rose to say something in reply. Oh, and there were so many things she could have said... that she was in love with Jack and nothing could stop that... that she hated Cal and his perverted obsession... that she wanted out of this entire lifestyle. None of it mattered, though. At least not to Ruth.

"I don't understand it, Rose," she finally said, sounding more tired than angry now. "Cal is a good match for you. He cares a lot about you, you know that, Rose?"

"No, he doesn't!" Rose screamed. "He is disgusting! He hates me! How can you put this all on my shoulders?"

The look that flashed across her mother's face was so unfamiliar that it took Rose a moment to place it for what it truly was... fear. She'd never seen such a look on her mother's face before, and for a moment, it instilled a deep sense of fear in Rose herself. Not the same fears as her mother had- poverty, scandal, loss of image. Those didn't matter to her in the least. What she feared was her mother and all of the ways that she could make her life a living hell.

"Dear God, Rose!" she said, her voice quivering. "D-Do you want to see me working at Target or something? How can you be so selfish? Don't you like the life you're living?"

_No,_ she thought. _No, I don't_. But that wouldn't come out of her mouth. She felt utterly childish and pathetic as she choked back tears and whispered, "It's so unfair."

"Of course it's unfair," Ruth explained, as though speaking to a little child. "We're women. Our choices are never easy." She stopped and placed her hand on her daughter's, as though trying to show sympathy.

"Now," she said briskly, unlocking the door and standing in the doorway, "you are going to school today, and when you get home we are going to have a final fitting for your gown for the debutante ball. Hurry up, Rose. You're going to be late."

Rose was left, still laying in her bed, watching the red nail polish stain her white sheets. Leaving on irremovable mark. No matter how many times they washed it, tried to make it better, tried to make the mark go away, it was stuck there from here on in. For ever.


	11. Forever Gone

**Guess what, guys? We're getting to the good part... woo-hoo! I've never made it this far in any type of story, so needless to say I'm pretty proud of myself. *does happy dance.* Also, for a couple people have been asking for the presence of a certain character- I genuinely was not expecting such a thing to occur in this chapter. I'm not gonna say it did and I'm not gonna say it didn't, though. Just read on. :D**

**Thanks for all the reviews, as always. You guys are awesome. Now, on with the chapter!**

Chapter Eleven

West 65th and Columbus

"Tell me again why we're doin' this, Jack?" Tommy demanded. "It's startin' to get cold out an' yer wastin' yer time."

It was as though Jack didn't even here him. He just continued to walk down the street, a few steps ahead of Fabrizio with Tommy trailing even farther behind. He hadn't thought about the repercussions of his actions the night before, but looking back on it now, it had been a stupid idea. He had probably gotten Rose into a lot of trouble, and he really regretted it. If Cal had found out, she'd probably never be allowed to see him again. That was why Jack had enlisted the help of Tommy and Fabrizio to go and find Rose. He had to talk to her. He had to tell her he was sorry for ruining her life. He had to see her again- at least once more.

"You don't know Rose," he said over his shoulder. "She's not like them!"

"He's not bein' logical I tell ya!" Tommy said to Fabrizio, sounding exasperated. The Italian just shook his head, as though he didn't understand how someone could be so clueless.

"Amore is'a not logical," he replied, laughing a little bit.

"Thank you, Fabri," Jack said, not looking back at his friends. They were only about a block and a half away from Rose's school. He didn't have time to humour their petty debate.

Jack didn't really have a plan as to what he was going to do when they got there. The school probably had an office or something where he could get the secretary to page Rose or whatever it was they get paid to do. He didn't care, really. He just had to talk to her, no matter what the cost.

"Jack, I'm tellin' ya so yer not disappointed," Tommy began again. "First of all, there's no way in Hell they're gonna let three guys like us talk to 'er while she's in school, alright? And besides, she's outta your league."

Jack would have preferred to just ignore Tommy's negativity. After all, it wasn't like he couldn't understand his position- why in the world would a girl like Rose care about a guy like him? But she did and that was what mattered. Tommy didn't have to believe him; he'd see. Something in the Irishman's words must have set Fabrizio off, though (well, as much as a perpetually happy guy like him could be set off), because he wheeled around and looked Tommy straight in the eye as he spoke.

"If Jack is in love with la bella Rosa, then why should he no go and find her? And Rosa is in love with Jack also! It no matter about the money. Like I say, amore is'a not logical!"

Jack couldn't help but smile at his best friend's joyous innocence. The idea that someone could be as smart and self reliant as Fabrizio was, but still so perpetually optimistic always renewed his faith in the human race. Such a pick-me-up was just what he needed, too, as he stopped in front of the grand doors of York Preparatory School.

To be frank, he wasn't even one hundred percent sure that this was where Rose went to school. He knew however, that it was the best private school in New York City – the kind that Ruth DeWitt Bukater would love to put her daughter in – and that Rose had come from its general direction the day before in Central Park. Besides that, it was really his only option. Better to try and fail than never to try at all, right?

"Alright, boys," he said, gathering his composure. "This is it."

The building itself was intimidating. Heck, the doors were intimidating! Jack tried to open them as inconspicuously as he could. Once inside, the guys found themselves to be standing in and atrium with a winding staircase in the middle. There were two hallways on both sides of the stairs, each with their own name. Jack hadn't set foot inside a school in five years, but this is not how he remembered them. The detailing on the walls was ornate and looked almost as though it was from the Renaissance era. If there was a school in the world that was made for Rose's type of people, it was this one.

To his right there were three rooms that had separate doors but appeared to all be connected inside. Signs by the doors told him that they were the main office, the attendance office, and the vice principal's office. He vaguely remembered what each one of those meant, and decided that the main office was probably the place to be if you wanted to talk to somebody. Without saying a word, Jack opened the door and his friends followed behind him.

Behind a desk sat a middle-aged woman wearing glasses from the eighties and far too much make-up. She was typing away at her computer and ignoring the fact that there were people standing in front of her desk. After about a minute and a half, Jack cleared his throat, hoping to draw her attention away from the screen and up to him.

"How can I help you?" she asked, as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

"Umm..." Jack began, gathering his courage, "can- can I speak with Rose DeWitt Bukater, please?" He really hoped that was the right thing to say.

The secretary cocked one eyebrow and stared at the three mismatched men standing before her, evidently puzzled.

"Is one of you her parent or legal guardian?" she asked sceptically, as though she already knew the answer.

What was Jack supposed to say to that? He could hardly lie- the eldest of them was Tommy, and he himself was only ten or fifteen years older than Rose at the very most.

"Well, no," he said, "but you see, ma'am, I met Miss DeWitt Bukater a few days ago and-"

"Only parents or guardians are allowed to speak with students during school hours," the secretary said, no longer looking up at them but typing away furiously. She had evidently rehearsed this little speech many a time.

Jack was desperate now. He looked first at Tommy, who rolled his eyes as if to say 'I told you so,' then at Fabri, who just shrugged and smiled sheepishly. It was great that he believed in fate and true love and all, but he evidently didn't understand how anguished Jack was becoming.

"Look," he explained to the secretary, who still didn't look up at him, "I know that this isn't really allowed, but it's sort of an emergency. I need to speak with Miss DeWitt Bukater as soon as possible."

The secretary rolled her eyes, turned away from her computer and placed her glasses on top of her head, clearly understanding now that Jack wasn't about to give up without a fight.

"Look, kid," she said, sounding tired, "I don't know what you want, okay? I can't pull this girl outta class unless a parent or guardian is asking for her, but I can tell you that the kids get their lunch at 11:45, so you got half an hour to wait. That sound okay to you?"

Jack sighed, defeated but hopeful. He thanked the secretary half-heartedly and made his way back outside, Tommy and Fabri trailing a bit behind him. Outside, the sun was shining, but the cold wind of autumn was starting to crawl into New York City. Leaves were changing colour, the sun was setting earlier, less people were out and about; times were changing, as they always did. Nothing really hung around forever.

Tommy and Fabrizio were leaning up against the doors of the school, both looking at Jack expectantly. Now that he thought about it, he was kind of hoping to talk to Rose alone. He looked at his friends for a moment, hoping they might realize this. When they said nothing, he had to sort of push them along.

"Okay guys," he said. "We've got another half hour. You guys don't want to wait around, do you?"

"Whatever you are 'a doing, I am 'a doing!" Fabrizio said, which really didn't help Jack at all. "I am excited to meet _la bella Rosa_ again!"

Jack wasn't exactly upset about his pal's enthusiasm- after all, as soon as he explained his desire to speak to Rose privately, he knew Fabri would understand. What upset him was the fact that if Fabrizio truly understood how much Rose meant to him and how fragile their situation was, he wouldn't be half as excited as he was. It was very difficult to be in his position- Tommy didn't have anything encouraging to say, while Fabrizio didn't understand that this whole thing might not work out the way they wanted it to. Knowing that even his friends didn't understand his situation made Jack feel completely and utterly alone. He felt like the one thing he had in the world, the one person whom he was destined to be with for all of eternity, was slowly slipping out of his grasp.

"Look, guys," he said, "I know you wanna see Rose again, and I understand. But I need to talk to Rose in private when she comes out. Can you understand that?"

Tommy, of course, didn't say anything. For a long time, Fabrizio was silent too. Slowly, ever so slowly, a huge smile spread across his face.

"_Mio amico_, you are truly in love!" Fabrizio wrapped his arms around his friend, causing Jack to do something of a double take. "Every time when are young boys, Jack always say to me, 'Come, Fabri, come with me to meet this girl,' and now he is saying no, I talk to this girl in private. Jack, _seite_ _in amore con la bella Rosa_!"

Jack couldn't see very well because Fabri was blocking his line of sight, but he heard Tommy say, in his thick Irish lilt, "This is gettin' ridiculous!"

He didn't even have to try to ignore him- he was in such a good mood all of a sudden. It was true, wasn't it? He was in love with Rose- really and truly in love with her. He was in love with a beautiful woman and he had his best friend in the world always standing right behind him. What more could he possibly ask for? He was so lucky- hopefully lucky enough to be able to spend the rest of his life with Rose. Why wouldn't he be, after all?

"Yeah," he said, letting go of Fabrizio's tight embrace. "Yeah, I am, aren't I?"

Fabrizio's smile still reached his eyes as he said, "Okay. Tommy and me, we go find something to do while you wait for _bella Rosa_. But you tell us all about it, no?"

"Yeah," Jack said happily. "I will."

He waved as his friends walked away, Fabrizio talking amicably to Tommy, who was completely exasperated with the other men's actions. Jack still had twenty-five minutes to kill and no idea how he was going to do it. The buildings around the school included a doctor's office, a synagogue, and a dentist's office- in other words, not much for Jack to do. It isn't very hard to keep yourself busy in New York City though- just people watching can keep you occupied for hours.

Like then, for example. From where he stood a few yards away from Rose's school, he could easily see Central Park. Right now, there was some homeless druggy trying his hardest to get some money from a pair of teen girls. In all honesty, it really wasn't funny- he could easily hurt those girls- but Jack couldn't help but laugh. Only in NYC.

He watched the exchange between the druggy and the girls for a few minutes, but it eventually grew tiresome. From what he could see, the girls didn't have any money on them, and the guy wasn't about to give up any time soon.

Sighing heavily, Jack checked his watch. 11:32. Thirteen more minutes. Sticking his hands deep into his pockets, he kicked at a small grey stone that lay at his feet. What if he could never see Rose again? If her mother forbade it, it wasn't like her could expect her to do otherwise. Hell, he'd only met Ruth once, and he was scared of her already! He could only imagine what it would be like to live with her. As much as it would hurt him not to be able to see his precious Rose ever again, he knew it was a possibility and that he was going to have to get into the right frame of mind. He had to be able to understand where she was coming from. He had to tell himself to be strong, if he didn't want to hurt Rose; to make her feel worse than she already would.

The last five minutes before the bell rang passed horrendously slowly. Jack glanced at his watch every three seconds, each time feeling that at least four and a half minutes must have gone by since the last time. He had to see her... he had to be near her. Just when it felt as though he couldn't wait any longer, a bell sounded inside the building. He only faintly heard it, but hear it he did. Students slowly started to trickle out the front doors. If it had been an ordinary day, Jack probably would have felt a slight pang of nostalgia and longing for the things he'd had during his childhood. It wasn't an ordinary day, though.

Finally, after what felt like a thousand years, Jack recognized Rose's bright shock of hair walking next to a slightly taller girl with black hair pulled back in a French braid. The girls were dressed identically in school uniforms- plaid skorts, white blouses and school sweaters. He approached the pair hoping to go as unnoticed as possible by the rest of the student body.

"Rose!" he said, as quietly as possible.

She mustn't have heard him, because she and her friend continued walking.

"Hey, Rose!" he called out, louder this time. She still didn't look up. Her friend did, however, and poked Rose in the side, stopping her in her tracks. The dark-haired girl pointed at Jack and whispered something in Rose's ear, giggling girlishly. Rose said something to her friend, looking apologetic, then made her way over to where Jack was standing.

"Jack," she said, sounding very tired, "I'm-"

"Shhh," Jack whispered, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her along with him, much like he had done the night before. Once they were well away from the school, Jack pulled her up next to a wall and let go of her hand.

"Jack, this is impossible," she said, not even giving him a chance to speak. "I can't see you."

With that, all of Jack's well-thought-out plans about how he would handle such a situation were gone with the wind. How could she say such a thing? No apology, no tears, no heartfelt explanation about the death threats her mother had put her under. How could she?

"Rose," he pleaded, grabbing her by the shoulders, "you're no picnic. You're a spoiled brat, even, but under that you're a strong, pure heart and you're the most astoundingly amazing girl I've ever known and-"

"Jack, I-"

"No, wait," he said, not caring that he was totally cutting her off, "Lemme try to get this out. You're amazing. I'm not stupid, okay? I have nothing to offer you- I've got ten bucks in my pocket and nothing else in the world, Rose. I know that. But I'm involved now. You jump, I jump, right? I can't turn away without knowin' that you're gonna be alright."

Jack could see that Rose was now holding back tears. This must hurt her just as much as it hurts if, if that was in any way possible. As he felt his own heart breaking, he knew that hers was doing the same, and yet she was hiding it- pretending that it wasn't happening. God, she was so strong.

"You're making this very hard," she said, swallowing the lump that was developing in her throat. "I'm fine. Really."

She obviously wasn't fine. If she was fine, Jack wouldn't have had to save her from jumping off the goddamn Brooklyn Bridge!

"I don't think so, Rose," he said, getting frustrated now. "They've got you in a glass jar like some butterfly and you're gonna die if you don't break free! Maybe not right away, cause you're strong. But sooner or later, that fire's gonna go out."

Instantly, Jack could tell he'd hit a nerve. He'd said what Rose herself had been thinking for years. For the first time, the pain in her eyes was not covered or hidden. It was raw- raw and open and just waiting for someone to fix it; to take it all away. And yet here she was, walking away from the only opportunity she might ever have to truly be free.

"It's not up to you to save me, Jack," she said, but her voice sounded as though she was already beyond saving.

"You're right," Jack said, utterly defeated. "Only you can do that."

He could see it in her eyes- she knew, deep down inside, that he was right. He could chase her all he wanted, but he couldn't make her go with him. Her life was hers to change, and she was the only one to decide whether or not she ever became free from the tangled web of a life that others had woven for her. But that would be a responsibility. That would mean living with the consequences of her actions; something she'd never had to do before. Something she wasn't sure she could do.

Sighing and looking as though she was ready to bawl, Rose said, "I have to go- my friends will miss me. Please, Jack, for both our sakes, leave me alone."

With that, Rose turned on her heels and calmly walked away- out of his life forever.

Jack had heard some pretty awful things before. He'd heard the police tell him that his house had burned down and that his parents were dead. He'd heard people tell him that he'd never be worth anything; that he'd made all the wrong choices and that his future was absolutely hopeless. Despite all of that, he'd never heard anything more bitter or painful than what Rose had just said to him.

With those three little words, the only person he'd been able to fully love and trust in the last five years had broken his heart. Rose had been everything to him, and now she was gone.


	12. Let Me Tell You That I Love You

** Hey guys! Thanks for reviews, as always, and hope you're all doing well. You guys have been so kind and I hope you know that you are truly the reason this story is still alive. Right now it's approximately 38,000 words long, and if you new me you'd know that that's one heck of an acheivement! I usually can't keep focused on one idea, but all of the amazing and productive feedback has really been helpful. So, thanks again. :)**

** Psst... I know I sorta combined two scenes from the movie in here, but it just fit so well. I actually found myself doing it without thinking about it, so I guess that means it must work. And sorry for the lack of updates, but I've been really busy. Here's chapter twelve...**

_If I should become a stranger,  
Know that it would make me more than sad.  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had._

Chapter Twelve

The Penthouse Suite

#400 East 67th Street

Six hours ago Rose had completely destroyed her own life; she was well aware of this. She was such a coward, so afraid to take responsibility for her own actions... from the moment she'd walked away from Jack behind her school, she'd been regretting it. But then, what was she supposed to have done? Run off with him into the sunset, never to see her mother or Cal ever again? If only it was that easy.

"Rose!" her mother snapped. "Where are you today? Felicity asked you a question!"

Pulling herself out of her daze, Rose said, "I'm so sorry, Felicity. What is it?"

Felicity was a seamstress from Dolce and Gabbana whom Ruth had hired to make Rose's gown for her coming out party. The debutante ball was now a little less than two weeks away, and Rose was having her final fitting. Her mind was anywhere but dresses, though- all she could think about was Jack, and the awful, heartbroken look in his eyes as she walked away. God, what kind of idiot was she?

"Is the hemline alright with you, Miss DeWitt Bukater?"

Oh, screw the hemline. Who gives a damn about the hemline? What does the hemline have to do with anything? How is the hemline going to make a difference in anybody's life?

"It's fine, Felicity. Perfect."

Felicity pinned the hem of the dress where it was and stood up straight. Rose crossed the room and looked at her reflection in the full-body mirror. The dress she wore was light purple, with one off-the-shoulder cap sleeve and a slit down the left leg, which revealed skin up to just above her knee. A thin line of Swarovski crystal detailing traced the seam of the dress from the sleeve down the slit and to the hem. It looked absolutely wonderful on her, but Rose couldn't enjoy wearing it- not when she had to go to this stupid party with Cal, and walk down the staircase, her arm linked in his, with everyone staring at them. Everyone except Jack, who wouldn't be coming. Jack, who she'd never see again.

Outside of Rose's trance, her mother was complaining away at a mile a minute about every little detail of this stupid ball.

"Oh, Felicity, you have no idea what an odyssey this whole thing has been," Ruth said, sighing heavily. Of course, the invitations had to be set back to printers twice. Oh, and this dress... You've done a splendid job, really Felicity. But I really don't know about the colour on Rose. She insisted on lavender, you know, even though she knows I hate the colour, and it especially clashes with her hair..."

Rose still stared into the mirror, not listening at all the chatter going on behind her. The person who gazed back at her did not belong in that dress. She was supposed to be out in the world, doing things, having fun, living her life. She wasn't meant to be getting married at seventeen. She wasn't meant for any of this. Behind her, her mother continued complaining endlessly about anything and everything under the sun. Was that all she ever did? Complain? Didn't she realize that she had the world at her fingertips, and that she should shut her mouth and be thankful? Ruth's entire way of life made her feel sick.

By this point, she just wanted to see Jack again. She had been so stupid to allow him to walk out on her life- no. It wasn't him. It was her. She was going to take responsibility for once in her life. She had walked out of his life, and now she regretted it more than she'd every regretted anything in her life.

But it was such a simple solution, wasn't it? Just undo it! Go back to him... just make things right.

"Mother," she said simply, "I think I'm going to be sick."

With that, Rose bolted out of her room and ran into the bathroom. Locking herself in, she fake-coughed a bit and ran some water, so that her mother wouldn't be suspicious. Luckily, she'd left her pajamas on the counter that morning. Sure, she'd look stupid, but it'd be better than walking around in an evening gown. Even in New York, that would be way out there.

She left the dress on the ground, really not caring what happened to it, and slipped into her pajamas. As she cracked open the window, a gust of cold air flew into the bathroom. It was starting to get quite chilly in the evenings. The fire escape was outside the bathroom window. As she climbed out onto it, Rose was flooded with memories of her childhood and early teenage years when, frustrated with her mother, she would sit for hours on the rickety steps, waiting for her father to come home. She knew that as soon as he couldn't find her, he'd climb out the bathroom window and take her in his arms. That had all changed when he died. She hadn't entered into their sanctuary since then- it would be like swearing in a church or something. Now, though, she felt like her father would be fully supportive of what she was doing. He would want her to follow her heart.

The apartment Rose and her mother shared was seventeen storeys from the ground, which meant 34 flights of rickety, rusty, metal stairs. Rose was a fair bit heavier than she'd been at eleven, and that coupled with the fact that she hadn't been on the stairs in three years made her feel even more shaky than she normally would. She bolted down the fire escape, fearing that her mother might catch her running away and lock her in her bedroom for all of eternity. There was no way she could let that happen.

Out in the street below, traffic zoomed in all directions. Rose had to wait nearly five minutes before it was safe to cross the street. She was four blocks away from Central Park, which was about a half-hour walk. She hoped and prayed that she'd find Jack in the same place as she had last time. Unfortunately, her apartment was on the opposite side of the park from her school, which meant another fifteen-minute walk just to the spot she'd found him and his friends yesterday afternoon.

Although the sun was setting, the city was far from winding down. In fact, it was as though the City That Never Sleeps was just waking up. Bright lights shone all around and people young and old played music on street corners. Rose allowed herself to imagine the place she'd like to be right now- at the Santa Monica pier, with Jack. They would have already ridden all of the crazy roller coaster by now. In fact, they'd probably just be dismounting the horses they'd ridden into the surf and getting ready to go on the Ferris Wheel. As embarrassing as it was to admit, Rose had never been on a Ferris Wheel before, or a roller coaster, and she'd never ridden a horse either. It would be such a romantic night.

She remembered the night before, resting her head on Jack's shoulder, and him whispering the words 'You're beautiful' into her ear. She loved him. She really and truly did love him, with all of her heart.

All the tourists were starting to slowly file out of Central Park, but most of the local still hung around. Rose followed the path through the grove of trees that lead her to the place she'd met Jack the previous afternoon, praying that he'd be there again. There was definitely someone there, sitting on a bench, staring across the pond that lay in the middle of the park. Even though it was nearly dark, it took her only a moment to recognize the man she had fallen in love with.

"Jack?" she said, more as a question than a statement. He immediately snapped his head around. From the way his face suddenly changed, Rose guessed that he had been frowning before she'd arrived- not that she could blame him. Now, though, his smile reached his eyes as his mouth formed her name, though no sound came out.

"I thought I might find you here," she said.

Still smiling, Jack ran towards her and wrapped her in his arms. The feeling of his strong, warm hands around her waist was one she'd missed since the night before. It was as though her body just fit right beside his.

"Rose," he said, trying to string together a coherent sentence. "Oh, Rose..." He pulled away from the embrace and took her hand.

"I want to show you something. Tommy's got this little motor boat, and I want to take you out on it. You're gonna see something you've never seen before."

Silently, for there was no need for words when Jack was around, she followed him. They had to cross to the other side of the city to get to the Manhattan docks, but time went by so much faster when she was with him. They didn't need to do or say anything- they just needed to be together. The sun was setting rapidly in front of them, a sight so ironic it made Rose laugh out loud. And here she'd thought, only about an hour ago, that she'd never get the chance to run off with Jack into the sunset. Well, now she was doing just that!

When they finally reached the public docks, it was completely dark. Jack took her firmly by both hands and helped Rose into a little motor boat.

Pulling a key out of his pocket, he explained, "I borrowed this from Tommy this morning. Now," he said, turning the engine, "I want you to close your eyes, okay? It's gonna be a bit bumpy, but you gotta go with me on this one. Just close your eyes."

Rose gently shut her eyes as the engine roared to life. Before she knew it, it felt as though the world was speeding out from under her- not being able to see really made it difficult to get her bearings. At first, her stomach lurched and jolted with every movement of the little boat, but soon she was used to it. She kept her eyes closed, as Jack had instructed, for what felt like forever. She felt a warm hand grab hers, and she laced her fingers into Jack's. He wrapped his arms around her waist and positioned her so that she was resting her body weight across his chest. She blindly followed his every silent instruction. Everything was perfect.

Finally, when they must have been a good few hundred yards from land, Jack whispered, "Open your eyes."

The view from where she lay was unlike anything Rose had seen in her life. The stars never came out in the city- night was like a black silk sheet draped over the silver skyscrapers. In fact, save for a trip to the Pennsylvania countryside to visit family when she was eight years old, Rose had never seen stars before. The brilliant, shimmering expanse above her head seemed to be the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Oh, Jack..." she whispered. "It's just endless..."

There were really no other words to describe the sight before her eyes. It really was endless- an endless sky of diamonds, shining as though they'd practiced it a thousand times before and were putting on their best show, just for Jack and Rose.

"Look at the island," Jack whispered back, tightening his grip around Rose's waist. The lights of Manhattan shone so brightly that, from where they were, Rose couldn't even see the buildings... just the brilliant glow of a hundred thousand lights.

Their reflection against the dark backdrop of the sky was just so beautiful. It made Rose think life in general – the life she'd been given, the life she'd rather have, the life that she thought was waiting for her somewhere out there. Life that her people like her mother didn't appreciate. Life that people like Jack lived to the fullest. Life that she was having a damned hard time figuring out.

"Look at it! It's so vast and wonderful... You know, Jack," she mused, "we're so small compared to it. My kind, they don't think about it like that. They think they're just giants... totally invincible. We're just dust in God's eyes."

Smiling, Jack said, "There's been a mistake. You got mailed to the wrong address."

Rose laughed out loud. It was so true. Leave it to Jack to make such a situation seem hilarious. "I did, didn't I?" she asked.

They sat in silence for a few long minutes, breathing gently and gazing up at the stars above them. Rose was acutely aware of Jack's fingers on her waist and his breath on her neck, warming her down to the core. She felt him lean in towards her ear, whispering the words of the song they'd danced to the night before.

"Let me tell you that I love you," he sang softly, "I think about you all the time..."

Slowly, his hands crept up from her waist and into her hair. They seemed to get lost in the curls as Rose turned her head around slightly, brushing her cheek against his. Without even thinking about it, her lips met his, slowly and gently at first, then more strongly and passionately. As they moved in sync with each other, Rose felt her heart flutter up through her chest and into her throat. She had kissed her share of boys before, but never had it been anything even remotely like this. That was probably because she'd never kissed a man who she was in love with before. As they drew apart, Jack looked serious at first, then a cheeky grin spread across his adorable face.

"Wow," he said quietly, barely managing to get the sound out.

Rose smiled back at him, not knowing what to say. She loved him so much. "Yeah."

"C'mon," he said, climbing into the driver's seat and turning the engine over again. "Let's get outta here."

Rose didn't want to go back home. At first, she was a little surprised that Jack would even take her back. Did he understand how she felt about her home life by now? He'd just proved to her, in a very romantic way, that he cared a lot about her, but maybe he didn't know her as well as she'd thought he did. It occurred to her after a moment's thought, though, that his words had not been 'Let's go home.' He'd said 'Let's get out of here.' There were going somewhere else... somewhere where it was just the two of them. And then it struck her. Tonight was the going to be the night. She'd thought about this night since she was about twelve or thirteen, at first with disgust and then with hope. When she'd realized that she was going to be married to Cal, she'd stopped dreaming of the night and started dreading it. Now, though, that was all about to change. Tonight was the night, and she was going to share it with Jack.

The idea of having that night with Jack filled her mind so completely that she was unable to think about anything else. They jetted back towards the deck in comfortable silence, Rose wondering if Jack was feeling the same way she was... excited, but a little bit nervous. After a few long minutes, they arrived at the shore. Jack docked the boat and helped Rose out, unable to hide his smile.

"I know somewhere we can go," he said, taking her by the hand. "Do you wanna see my apartment?"

It hadn't occurred to Rose before that neither she nor Jack had never been to each other's homes or even gotten to know each other very well. Right now, though, she loved the idea of going to Jack's apartment.

"Of course I do!" she exclaimed.

Still holding Rose by the hand, Jack ran through the streets to his apartment on West 45th Street. It was a far hike away from the docks, but Rose's legs refused to tire as they ran the whole way. She didn't even think about it- all she could think of was Jack's hand in hers, and the new chance at a life she'd never been able to lead before.

Smiling and laughing as they went, Jack and Rose made their way down the sidewalk, mesmerized by the bright lights and upbeat music coming at them from all directions. The mood was infectious, and the further they got, the giddier they acted. After a couple minutes of dashing through the crazy New York City traffic, laughing all the way, the pair had reached the foot of an old apartment building.

"You'll have to excuse the state of the place," Jack apologized as they walked through the double doors and into an elevator. "It's certainly not what you're used to, but it's home."

"Are you kidding me?" Rose asked, as Jack pressed a round button with the number 3 engraved in it. "This is one of the coolest places of I've ever seen. I can't wait to see your apartment!"

Jack laughed as the elevator grinded to a halt, but it was only half-hearted. Rose worried that she'd embarrassed him, which was the last thing she wanted to do. She knew that opportunities like this were once in a lifetime- she didn't want to do anything at all to screw it up. Tonight had been perfect so far, but now she was left feeling insecure and awkward, and worrying that Jack was feeling the same way.

All of that went out the window, though, as Jack slipped his hand into hers and opened the door to his apartment. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, as though he could read her thoughts. He was so perfect.

Jack's apartment was really small, but it was overflowing with homey comfort. The doorway stood at the entrance to a sort of living room with a well-worn couch and arm chair, as well as a small TV. To the right of the living room was a little kitchen with a microwave, a fridge, a few cupboards and table with two chairs. In the back of her mind, Rose imagined herself and Jack sitting at that table together, eating and talking and just being the family she'd never had before. Wouldn't that be a blessing?

"C'mon," Jack said with a broad smile, "I'll take you to the bedroom."

"No," Rose said simply, grinning coyly. "You'll take me to the stars!"

With that, Rose ran after Jack into the bedroom, her heart pounding in her chest. This was it. A big step in her life, and maybe she was a little bit young, but still... it felt so right; like nothing bad could possibly happen from here on in.

Jack flopped down on the bed right away, but Rose was a bit hesitant. He patted the place beside him in a gesture for her to join him, which gave her a little bit more confidence. She climbed in beside him and snuggled close to him, feeling the warmth from his body. As she looked up to see that perfect smile on his face, all of her worries and anxieties that had been floating around in the back of her mind from her realization on Tommy's boat seemed to disappear. With Jack, the world was beautiful and everything was going to be okay.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, knowing that she'd never done this before. Rose just shook her head, unable to speak. There was just one thought that came to her mind; one thing that she could manage to formulate on her tongue. By most circumstances such a thing would seem improper for a young, unmarried, high class lady such as herself, but right then, nothing had ever sounded so right. Her breath tightened in her chest as she said it, preparing herself for what was to come.

"Put your hands on me, Jack."


	13. A Statistic

**Alrighty... so, yay for reviews as always. :D I am aware this is seems extremely anti-climatic, but I'm telling you it's not. This is where things start to change. I know that so far, this has been almost identical to the movie, but that is changing now. This is where I start to write my own story, and I'm very excited to start building the climax. I'm pretty sure that the halfway point is somewhere in the next three to five chapters.**

**Also, last night a thought crossed my mind that I could possibly do something with this after it's done, since I've already got it all planned out. I got a story request a few weeks ago that I'm going to start publishing in about a week and a half. So, I'm going to have two stories on the go, which means they'll both be a bit slower- two updates a week at the very most. Once Endless Diamond Sky is over, I'm going to start with my super-secret new idea. So, be excited! :P**

**Well, on with it!**

_But I'm steady thinking, my way is clear  
And I know what I will do tomorrow  
When hands have shaken, the kisses float  
Then I will disappear_

Chapter Thirteen

_Two weeks later_

The Penthouse Suite

#400 East 67th Street

Rose sat in front of her vanity mirror, running her fingers through her hair. What was she going to do with it? The stylist her mother had booked had to cancel last minute, so she was now left to do everything herself for the debutante ball that night- not that she minded; surely a stylist would have gone overboard. No; she could do a perfectly fine job herself- she could pin her curls into an updo, leaving stray curls dangling on each side. Yes, that would look great. She was just reaching for a bottle on her desk that claimed to leave hair shiny and frizz-free when she felt her stomach turn over again, for the third time that day.

She made a mad dash for the bathroom, all thoughts of hairstyles gone completely from her mind. Rose knew fully what was happening to her, and what she knew that this was far from the end of it. How could she have been so stupid that night? It seemed so long ago now...

Ever since the night Jack had taken Rose out on Tommy's boat, Rose had been seeing him secretly whenever possibly- during her lunch, after school... sometimes, she would tell her mother that she was going over to Mekyla's house to work on a class project, but really she'd go off to meet Jack. Despite her best attempts, she was still being forced to attend the debutante ball with Cal as her escort, but at least she and Jack were able to be together. Over the last week, however, Rose had begun to feel down, and she suspected a bug was coming on. On the third day of waking up to a round of vomiting, though, a thought struck her- a thought that she would have rather avoided, but couldn't hide from. Since then, she'd sort of been trying to avoid Jack, so that she wouldn't have to tell him what they'd done. He would feel disappointed, guilty and probably extremely inadequate, which was the last thing she wanted to do to him. She couldn't face him anymore.

Rose huddled over the toilet, puking her guts out. As the she heaved and retched and heaved all over again, she realized with disgust that this wasn't going to end any time soon. Why were they so stupid? Why hadn't they thought things through? She felt like an absolute imbecile- an imbecile who was sitting in front a toilet, trembling and vomiting on the night of her debut.

Just as she was wiping the edges of her mouth with some tissue, Rose heard her mother's footsteps behind her. Ruth stuck her head into the bathroom and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Rose, dear!" she sighed, sounding exasperated. "Please don't play these games with me. I know you don't want to go to this ball, but your stupid little show won't get you anywhere. Now, hurry up and get ready! Mr. Hockley will be here in an hour!"

Rose wanted to turn around and slap her mother across the face. She'd been sick for nearly a week now! How could Ruth possibly call her out on it? Too bad she was too shaky and nauseous to act on those feelings. She made her way back to her room and sat down, feeling even worse than she had before. Half-heartedly, she began running smoothing serum through her curls and pinning them up. It looked good, but the pale, sickly backdrop against which it sat. Rose gazed at her pasty white reflection- it was not beautiful, and it was entirely her own fault. She had brought this upon herself and there was nothing she could do about. She didn't have the right to blame her mother, or even to punish her by kicking up a fuss. The only person who had done this to her was herself, and she was going to have to suck it up- to take responsibility for her actions.

She reached for her foundation first, applying a little bit more than usual to cover up her pallor. She did the same with blush, but no amount of make-up could hide the gauntness and fatigue of her face. Vomiting four times a day for five days straight was not flattering on anyone.

Just as she finished applying mascara to her light purple and silver eyelids, there was a knock at the door. Rose turned around to see her mother standing in the doorway, dressed to the nines as though this night was as much for her as it was for her daughter.

"Mr Hockley has arrived, Rose. Hurry up and get dressed."

With that, she turned around and walked out of the room, leaving Rose alone to slip into her dress. Locking the door, Rose leaned back against the wall and breathed deeply, trying to hold back tears. What was Cal going to do when he found out? Maybe he wouldn't want to be married to her anymore. That would be nice. But what if he got angry? What if he hurt her? What if he hurt... no. Don't think that way, Rose told herself. Don't allow yourself to think those thoughts. Gulping back the lump that had developed in her throat, Rose removed the plastic covering from her gown and slowly unzipped it. She stepping into its layers of organza and raw silk, she felt instantly suffocated. She had gotten herself into a trap- a trap that there was no way of getting out of.

As she took one last, unsatisfied look in the mirror, Rose didn't know what to think or what to feel. The was a whole host of emotions spinning around inside her mind- fear, anger, sadness, desperation, inadequacy, and a tiny glimmer of hope. Rose didn't think much about God or church or the like, but she did like to believe that someone was watching over her, and that they wouldn't have allowed something like this to happen if it wasn't going to work out in the end. With that sliver of possibility kept close to her heart, she managed to pick her head up and walk out into the living room where her mother and Cal were waiting.

Much to Rose's disgust, Cal's mouth fell open and stayed that way for a long time. He was so utterly repulsive, and on top of that, how could he look at her that way when just two weeks ago, he'd been throwing things at her in a maniacal rage? Caledon Hockley was really and truly the most disgusting man she had ever met in her life. Even all decked out in a tuxedo with his hair slicked back, he couldn't hide the ugliness beneath the surface- the glare in his eyes, the stiff and emotionless fix of his shoulders... there wasn't an ounce of kindness in his entire being.

"You look gorgeous, Rose, darling," he said, attempting to link his arm in hers. Not bothering to hide the disgusted look on her face, Rose shrugged out of his grasp and walked out of the apartment and into the hallway. Ignoring Cal and her mother, Rose got into the elevator, which shut with just enough time for the two to climb in behind her. Rose hoped she was sending off some sort of subliminal message, but as obvious as it was, the pair of people behind her were probably too stupid to figure it out. Ruth was clearly over the moon about this whole thing. She'd been waiting for this day for seventeen years- the day in which Rose would be introduced into society, and would completely and totally surrender her life to Caledon Hockley, world's greatest pervert. What a great dream for a mother to have for her daughter.

Outside, Rose continued to ignore Cal and Ruth as they climbed into the cab that would take them to the Plaza Hotel. Rose had been in the Plaza exactly four times in her life- once for her older cousin Marina's coming out party, and three other times for fundraisers and banquets that her mother 'just had to be seen at in order to keep up their good name.' To be honest, having a good name was the dumbest concept Rose had ever heard of- wasn't that sort of stuff really big a hundred years ago? Weren't people over that by now?

Staring out the window, Rose was reminded of the night she had almost jumped of the Brooklyn Bridge. It had been the same as tonight- she in a beautiful dress that sucked out her personality, pretending to be in love with Cal to make her mother look good. In a way, she felt that maybe she should have jumped. Yes, she had met Jack that night, but now she that chance encounter had destroyed both of their futures. She didn't deserve Jack, and he didn't deserve what she was going to inevitably put him through. She didn't exactly regret being with him, but she did regret being so irresponsible and putting herself in this situation. All her life, Rose had wanted to break free but hadn't been brave enough- she had been too afraid to take responsibility for her actions. Now that she had to do just that, she was beginning to realize just how big and scary the world was.

As they whizzed past the lights and sounds of New York City, she remembered how she and Jack had run all the way from Central Park to his apartment that night two weeks before. With him, the city had been magical and full of life. Now, driving down the very same streets, the cab she was in felt like a slave ship. The city around her was like an inescapable prison. She hoped beyond hope that sometime very soon, Jack would come and save her from this hell on earth, but deep down she knew it was impossible.

The trio sat in silence as they drove towards the Plaza. All of the debutantes and their escorts were to arrive at four in the afternoon, three hours before the party started. Rose didn't really understand why- okay, they were going to practice walking down a friggin staircase and then take some pictures... three hours? Really? This whole thing was a massive lie; a load of propaganda to make people believe that money and luxury and fancy dresses and expensive was what they needed to be happy. Unless some country bombed another one or something, this stupid thing was going to be on the front page of the paper in the morning, just to prove how stupid and senseless people were. Why was the world like this?

As the limo pulled up in front of the Plaza Hotel, Rose felt the overwhelming urge to be sick, not like before but sheerly because of how disgusting the whole scene was. All around her, girls she'd grown up with were getting of limousines with men she'd never met before, all dressed to the nines, smiling as camera bulbs flashed over and over again. Stepping out into the fresh air, she felt her head spinning slightly, unable to deal with all of this pressure.

"Are you alright, Rose?" Cal asked, slipping his arm into hers. She couldn't ignore it this time; she had to make it look like she actually liked Cal. "You look a bit pale."

_You have no idea,_ she thought, but that wasn't what she said.

"I'm quite fine, Cal," she said, faking a smile. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!"

Rose, Cal and Ruth joined the throngs of young women, their escorts and parents, all beaming widely at the photographers. Before Rose could brace herself for the impact, Madeline Astor ran towards her and hugged her tightly. Madeline's dark curls blocked her vision and the scent of flowery perfume overwhelmed her senses. Again, Rose had to swallow the nausea and pretend like everything was okay.

Finally letting go of Rose's waist, Madeline squealed, "Oh my gosh, Rose! Isn't this so wonderful? Aren't you excited?"

"It is, isn't it?" she replied, smiling weakly and trying to hide her frustration. Madeline really was a nice girl, and probably the closest thing Rose had to a friend in her mother's world, but she was still just like everybody else. She didn't understand Rose and she never would. In fact, as far as she could see, Rose was just as excited as she was for this whole stupid thing. Everybody around here was so clueless.

In a way, Rose felt that it would almost be easier to be like them- to have no desire to see the world or fall in love or to live the life she'd always wanted. It was sort of like when Rose was in grade school, and people would ask why she actually did the homework that everyone knew the teachers weren't going to collect. She'd always thought that it would be much easier to be them; to not care about her grades or her reputation. No matter what, it was always easier to be ignorant and to have your eyes closed to the world around you. It was easier not to care. Unfortunately, Rose had never been that type of person.

Suddenly, she felt extremely insecure, especially after taking in Madeline's appearance. Her long chestnut hair hung in barrel curls down her back, and her silvery gold gown complimented her pink lips and gold eyeshadow perfectly. She was every inch the fairytale princess that she was supposed to be, and she looked right at home in such a role. Rose, however, felt exactly the opposite. She still felt suffocated and tired and very much like a fish out of water. With each passing minute, she wished more and more that Jack would come and rescue her from this horrible world.

As Madeline continued to babble on pointlessly, her escort came up behind them and began talking to Cal. Rose found it impossible to listen to Madeline, because she couldn't ignore the way the men kept staring at them. She could tell that they were comparing their women like prize showhorses. Just as she thought she couldn't take it any longer, the conversation was interrupted by her mother.

"Come along, everyone," she ordered. "We should all be getting inside."

The group followed Ruth inside the hotel. Cal linked his arm in Rose's again, much to her dismay. They, along wiht Madeline and John, were directed up a flight of stairs, where a few of the debutantes and their escorts were already waiting. Ruth stayed downstairs and presumably went into the ballroom witht he rest of the guests. All of the girls were then arranged in a line by alphabetical order, in which Rose was second behind Madeline. Now there were just a few girls still missing, which meant just a few more minutes that Rose had to spend pretending to be in love with Cal before they could at least move around. She cringed as Cal leaned in close to whisper something in her ear.

"I know you've been melancholy, Rose," he said, as though he had a clue what was going on in her head. "You know I love you, right?"

Rose couldn't even find the words within herself to answer. How could he lie to her like that and keep a straight face? Just two weeks ago he'd completely blown up at her. He'd tried to hurt her- to actually, really hurt her. Loving people didn't do those things. Too afraid to say so for fear he'd do it again, she just nodded ever so slightly. He did not love her, and he was definitely not going to love her when he figured out what she'd done. Jack loved her, and he would love her no matter what. In that moment, she resolved to find Jack as soon this stupid thing was over- to find him, and to tell him the truth. With that little secret tucked inside her mind, Rose somehow found the strength to stand a little bit taller and smile a little bit wider as the procession of girls practiced making their way down the winding staircase.

Each girl's name was announced, followed by the name of her escort. The made their way down the stairs, and the men kissed the girls' hands at the bottom. Once they had done this, the next couple was announced, and this was repeated twelve times, until every couple had their moment in the spotlight. Rose felt a slight twinge of repulsion each time Cal pressed his lips to her delicate hand, but she hid it well. In fact, she thought that this whole thing wasn't nearly as hard as she'd been expecting, and that maybe tonight wouldn't exactly be the hell on earth she had imagined it to be for so many weeks. Apparently, however, it was possible to walk down stairs wrong, as this had to be rehearsed seven times. Each time, Rose arched her back, raised her head and smiled gracefully, trying to make the most out of it. Finally, after what seemed like hours, a man in a suit who was directing the couples announced that it was time to take a break.

"Excellent, excellent," he declared as the last couple parted ways. "You've all got about ten minutes while we set up the photographers. I expect you all to be back here at that time."

Most of the girls were giggling amongst each other before he'd even finished speaking, but Rose had begun to feel a bit nauseous during the last procession. She was going to throw up again, she just knew it. She didn't know where she might find a bathroom, so rather than look for one, she headed for the doors. Cal shouted something to her, but she didn't hear him. She ran outside and found a quiet, secluded corner just as her stomach turned over and she started to heave.

She hadn't eaten anything since the last time she'd been sick, so instead of really vomiting, she mostly coughed up mucus and the like, which was good because there was nothing for her to get on her dress. By this point, that was all she really cared about. After three days of non-stop vomiting, she was pretty much used to it. Still, though, she couldn't get over the fact that she had put herself in this situation. It was all her fault- nobody to blame but herself.

When her stomach decided that it was done trying to throw up, Rose leaned against a cool wall and took in everything around her. Even though her world was still a prison, it was a prison that she was soon going to break out of. Just the idea of seeing Jack for the first time in three days made the sky a little bit bluer, the breeze a little bit cooler, the grass a little bit greener. Rose stared off into the distance for a minute. At first she thought it was just her imagination, but after a while she realized that there really was something moving across the parking lot. It was a person, and whoever they were, they were coming closer and closer to her. It surprised her that someone would be checking into the hotel on such a busy day like today, but surely they ahd there reasons. As the person drew closer, however, Rose realized that, rather than walking towards the entrance, the person was walking directly towards her.

For a moment, she felt something like fear rising in her chest, but within half a second it was gone. The person looked a lot like... no, it couldn't be, could it? It was!

"Jack!" she exclaimed, running towards him and wrapping her arms around him. "Jack, what are you doing here? How did even know where to find me?"

Instead of answering right away, Jack lifted Rose right off the ground and kissed her over and over again. In his arms, everything just disappeared. Now more than ever, Rose knew she had to find a way to be with him. As he set her back down on the ground, her eyes met his and she thought to herself that she'd never seen a more beautiful thing.

"I needed to see you Rose. It feels like it's been forever." Laughing, he said, "This stupid thing was all over the paper, and I figured that if you'd be anywhere, it'd be here."

"Oh, Jack!" she exclaimed, not really knowing what else to say. She kissed him again, savouring every blessed moment with him as the gift that it was. "I have to talk to you," she explained, grabbing him by the hand and leading him around to the back of the building. All of a sudden, the fear and self-hatred that had kept her away from Jack for the last three days bubbled up inside of her. For some reason, she felt her eyes brimming with tears. How was he going to take it? Would he ever want to see her again? Would he hate her, and leave her with Cal and her mother for the rest of her life? She swallowed her fears and she turned around and took his other hand in hers.

She opened her mouth to speak, but instead of words, sobs came out. She couldn't bring herself to say it. Sensing her fear and wanting to protect her from it, Jack took Rose in his arms and rubbed her back in slow, gentle circles.

"Rose, what's wrong?" he whispered. "What's the matter? You know you can tell me, Rose."

Trying to compose herself, Rose wiggled out of Jack's embrace and wiped away her tears. The sun was setting around them, just like it had been the night she found him in Central Park... the night where this whole thing had begun.

"Jack..." she stammered, not knowing how to say the words that were running around in her brain, dying to get out. "Jack, I'm... I'm going to... Jack, I'm going to have baby."

If he was shocked, he hid it amazingly well. His eyes showed nothing but sympathy, and even a glimmer of something that remotely resembled happiness. Rose hadn't thought that he might possibly be okay with being a dad, but she had thought wrong. God, she was an idiot. Of course Jack would be okay with it! She'd noticed that night at the party when he was dancing with Cora that Jack would be a good father, but she never would have imagined he'd want to have a kid at twenty. He really was the most wonderful man in the world.

Maybe Jack could be a good parent, but could she? Could they actually raise this child on their own? She was a teenager, and he was hardly more than one! How would they support a life when they could barely support themselves? There was no way Rose could go to university now; she'd be taking care of a baby. And they wouldn't have any money either, because Ruth would probably disown her. This was such a disaster! Again Rose found herself sobbing in Jack's arms.

"Shh, it's okay," he whispered. "We're going to make this okay." Rose wanted to believe him, but deep inside she couldn't. There was no way in the world to make this okay.

"Don't lie to me like that!" she snapped, regretting it instantly. "I'm so sorry... but we can't make this okay! I'm a statistic now, Jack! I'm just another teen mother. How are we gonna make this okay? It can never be okay!"

As hard as he tried, Jack couldn't manage to hide the look of hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry, too, Rose. This is all my fault, but I promise you, I'm going to make it work."

The more he spoke, the more Rose regretted screaming at him. She'd always thought herself a good person, but she never really had a halfway decent example to compare herself to. Now, looking at the way Jack treated her and how he understood everything she said and why she said it, she felt like the worst person in the world. Somehow she'd managed to make Jack feel as thought his was his fault, and she'd hurt him on top of it. When was she going to learn to just keep her mouth shut?

"It's not your fault," she said, much more quietly this time. Salty tears still flowed from her eyes, but she wasn't sobbing any longer. Jack gently brushed his hand across her cheek, which was enough to make her smile, if only slightly.

"I love you, Jack," she said, meaning it for the first time in her life.

"I love you, too, Rose."

Caressing her thin, delicate face, Jack kissed her again, much like he had that night out on the boat. As much as she knew it was impossible, it made Rose want to believe that everything really would be okay as long as he was around. As they broke apart, Rose noticed that Jack now had tears falling from his own eyes. She wanted to say something, anything, but before she got the chance, someone shouted at them from behind. Cal.

"Rose! Rose, you stupid bitch!" he snarled as he drew closer to them. "What the hell are you doing!?"

Before Rose got a chance to speak, Jack was jumping down Cal's throat. "I could say the same to you," he spat. "Do you think just because you get to carry her around like a little puppy dog that you also have the right to follow her wherever she goes?"

"Jack, please-" Rose started, but was cut off by a fuming Cal.

His face turned every shade of purple as he bellowed, "Do you have any goddamn idea what you're messing around in, Dawson? Rose is my fiance, not yours! Keep your dirty fucking paws off of her, do you understand me?" Turning to Rose, he said, "Is this what you really want to be, Rose? A whore to a gutter rat?"

Something in his tone made Rose feel something she'd never felt before- a certain level of anger and hatred that she didn't know existed. Without even thinking about it, she declared simply, "I'd rather be his whore than your wife!"

Both Cal and Jack must have been completely shocked by her statement, because neither of them said anything for a long time. After a moment of stunned silence, Cal grabbed her by the wrist and practically dragged her away. Rose couldn't bear to look back, too afraid to see the look on Jack's face. She said nothing, standing tall and resolute. It didn't matter anyways, because as soon as this stupid party was over, she was going to run away, never to see Caledon Hockley's jealous, pathetic face again. She would let him play his little game of house for one more night, and no one would be the wiser.

She was able to hold back her tears all the way across the parking lot and back into the hotel. She thought that maybe, just maybe, she could keep up the facade of strength for the rest of the night. All of that came crashing down, though, when Cal pinned her up against the wall of an empty hallway and said the words Rose had known were coming all along.

"You're lucky to have me, you know, you filthy little slut?" His warm breath on her neck made her skin crawl, and she felt like throwing up all over again. "You pull a stunt like that one more time and I swear to God, Rose, I'm done. You can have your happily ever after with Jack, but you and I both know you two can't do it alone."

His threat wasn't what bothered her- it was the knowledge that wis hidden beneath them. He knew, and he might have even known all along. Rose didn't know what to say- there was nothing to say, really. Nothing that could make it all go away; nothing that would turn back time and let her do things over again. The reality of it all was that her situation was one she couldn't run from, and it was a reality that brought a whole other flood of tears to her eyes. Rose was a statistic now, in more ways than one. Cal turned on his heels and walked away. He didn't care. He had never cared.

**So, finally, eh? Hope you guys liked this one; it was pretty hard to write and I'm not exactly happy with the ending, but I think it's okay overall. What did you think?**


	14. Dear Rose

**Hi guys! So I feel really bad for taking so logn to update lately, and unfortunately it might stay like this for a while. I'll try, though, I promise. I think this chapter's pretty good, so hopefully it was worth the wait!**

Chapter Fourteen

The Penthouse Suite,

#400 East 67th Street

A long time ago, Rose had heard somewhere that God's promises are like stars; the darker the night, the brighter they shine. As she lay on top of her covers inside a locked bedroom with a bag packed up at the foot of her bed, she prayed that it was true. She'd been laying here, waiting for her chance to get out, for wait felt like hours. The timing had to be perfect, or else she might get caught, which would destroy any chance she had of making a getaway. All the while she could hear her mother and Cal banter on and on about what an embarrassing slut she was- that's all they'd been doing since they'd arrived back at the apartment after the party. She could feel her blood boiling over as she listened to what Cal had to say about her, but she wouldn't dare to even breath too loudly. Still, it was starting to become too much.

"I swear to God, Ruth," Cal seethed, for the tenth time that night, "You know you need me; I know you need me, but that arrogant slut of a daughter of yours had better learn it real fast, do you understand me?"

His words made Rose's skin crawl, mainly because the way he was speaking to her mother was the way Ruth herself had so often spoken to her. How could he blame this on Ruth? In a way, it made her feel bad, because there had been dozens of times during her youth in which Rose had wished such a thing on her mother, but now that she was experiencing it, it was different. She could almost feel the way Ruth would be sharply sucking in her breath and nodding, probably very much afraid of Cal, just as Rose had been so many times before. She also felt guilty knowing that she was going to live her mother with this man, at least for a time. Hopefully Cal would leave her well enough alone soon enough, but until then, Rose would carry a burden on her heart knowing what she'd done.

It wasn't like she had a choice, though, right? She couldn't stand to be with Cal any longer- her hatred of him was almost as strong as her love for Jack, and the two combined inside her were like a chemical reaction that resulted in an explosion.

"The audacity of that girl," she heard Cal continue. As soon as he'd sent Rose to bed as though she were his five-year-old daughter, he'd told Ruth about the baby. Rose didn't know how he knew, but she figured he'd heard her telling Jack. It made her so angry to listen to him talk as though he had some sort of legal jurisdiction over her. She wasn't stupid; she knew all about the consequences of unprotected sex and realized that what she and Jack had done had been stupid and irresponsible, but being a teen mother to his baby was better than bringing children into a world in which Caledon Hockley was their father.

She cringed has he continued to shout, totally oblivious to the fact that she was listening. "If she thinks she can go around hopping into bed with whoever she pleases and let them knock her up no less, then I can't be married to her. I mean it, Ruth, either she gets an abortion and never sees that Dawson boy again, or I'm out of this."

That threw Rose over the edge. It was more than obvious that Cal was not happy about the pregnancy, but all this time he hadn't said a thing about her getting an abortion. How could he even think something like that? How could he tell her to destroy a life that had nothing to do with him? There was no way in the world that that was going to happen! Unable to listen to it any longer, Rose tip-toed across the room, grabbed a warm jacket from her closet and the bag and the foot of her bed, held her breath and prayed.

Feeling that she'd never been quieter in her life, Rose held her breath within her chest as she unlocked her door. Trying impossibly hard not to make a single sound as she made her way across the hall into the bathroom, she was acutely aware of everything around her. Just a few feet away, Cal continued to rip her apart. When she finally felt the cold sensation of the ceramic tile of the bathroom floor beneath her feet, she heaved a deep sigh of relief. She couldn't lock the door behind her because then nobody would get to use the bathroom, but it was okay. She was safe now.

Once she was out on the fire escape, she pulled the running shoes out of her bag and slipped them on. She had been too afraid to do it inside for fear of squeaking along the floor. From where she stood, it felt as though she could see all of New York City. The Upper East Side was the only place she'd ever lived. As much as she hated it there, it was all she knew and it held all that she had ever done. In a way, it broke her heart to be leaving the apartment she had called home for seventeen years, but she knew that it was just another change she was going to have to a make. There were a lot of changes coming now, in her life and in Jack's; the way they dressed, they way they ate, where they lived, how they made money. Everything.

It occurred to Rose in that moment that she knew almost nothing about Jack, least of all what his job was. Oh, how could she have been so stupid? Had she even been thinking about the repercussions of her actions that night- that she might have to raise a child with a man she barely even knew? The answer, of course, was no. If she had been thinking about anything besides her stupid, infatuated, aroused self, she wouldn't have done it. Oh well. She was going to have to live with it now. As she quietly made her way down the fire escape, she bit down hard onto her bottom lip, willing herself not to cry.

_I will not cry_, she told herself. _I will not._

Finally out in the street, Rose stood on the edge of the side walk and attempted to hail a cab. She waited for a good five minutes, acutely aware of everything going on around her. Just like any other late night in New York City, the street was full of musicians, buskers and drug dealers, all of which were common sights to Rose. For the first time since she was about eleven, however, she was really and truly afraid, not for her life, but for the life growing inside her. The funny, stomach-turning sensation of fear deep within her was yet another reminder of the way that, from now on, she was never going to be the same person she had been only two short weeks ago. Wasn't it funny how your life could change so drastically in the fraction of a second, and that in that fraction of a second you become completely and totally responsible for another creature? And what were the odds that, of all the people whom that _didn't_ happen to in a day, it had happened to her? There were so many families in this world who had been trying and trying to conceive for years, and the miracle just wasn't happening for them. Why couldn't the baby that was growing inside of her be growing inside of one of those women? It wasn't that she wouldn't - no, didn't - love her baby already, it was just that she knew it would be almost impossible for her to do a good job raising the child. Just the fact that she wouldn't even know what to do if one of those creepy drug dealers approached her was proof of that.

When a taxi finally did pull up to the side of the street, Rose got in and said to the driver, "45th and tenth, please."

Without a word, he merely nodded and drove on. Rose knew that this would be a fairly expensive cab ride, but she had one hundred dollars in her pocket, which she had hoped would last her at least a week. The way in which she was going to live now would be a change, and it would be hard to learn how to stretch a dollar, but she was going to have to try.

Inside, the cab smelled faintly of cigarette smoke and the driver was blasting some awful rap station with the base

Rose stared out the window silently throughout the entire ride. For the third time in as many weeks, she was driving along a familiar rode; a rode she had driven down every day of her life, but headed to a strange and unfamiliar place. For the third time in as many weeks, she felt as though there was nothing in the world but her and the streets that were flying by her window. This time it was different though, because there was no going back, no matter what.

When she was very young, Rose had imagined what it would be like the day she left home to go off and start a new life. Would she be getting on a plane? A bus? A train? Never in her wildest dreams had she been getting into a cab headed to the other side of town, but sometimes life surprised you. That's what she had to think of this as, wasn't it? Just another grand adventure. Maybe, if she kept telling herself that, it might really turn out that way.

The cab ride to Jack's apartment felt like the longest trip Rose had ever experienced, and she was itching to get out by the halfway point. She didn't really care that she'd probably be waking him up, mostly because she knew he wouldn't care either. Jack would always be there for her- if she hadn't known it before, she knew it now. There had been a good handful of girls Rose knew, especially living in Manhattan and all, whose boyfriends and gotten them pregnant and then left them. Jack was different though- he was with her for the long haul, no matter what.

After what felt like a month, the cab driver finally pulled up at the corner of 45th and tenth. "Twenty-two ninety-five," he said. Personally, Rose felt like that was a little steep, but she was ready to do just about anything know to get the hell out of that cab.

The night was fiercely cold and the freezing wind cut across Rose's face like a thousand tiny daggers- all the more reason to get to Jack's apartment as soon as possible. If she remembered correctly (and she was hoping she did), his building was about a five-minute walk from where she now stood. She started to walk at a slow pace, but the farther she went, the faster she walked until she was nearly running. The more she thought about it, the harder it was not to cry. Once she was safe inside, she could let it all out, but right now it seemed like that time couldn't come fast enough.

Finally, she reached the familiar building that was Jack's apartment. She walked into the lobby, shivering with cold, got into an elevator and pressed the button for the third floor. Her whole body shook with things she'd never experienced before- tears welling up behind her eyes, the sickening nausea that had been with her constantly for the last three days, and what felt like every emotion in the world swelling inside her chest. Every moment she spent in that elevator, waiting to be with Jack, was like hell.

As the elevator grinded to a halt, Rose prayed that she had remembered the right room. She knocked on the door lightly, then a little louder, to make sure Jack had heard her. A moment later, the door swung open, but it was not Jack who stood in front of her. Instead, it was an Italian man whom Rose had remembered meeting a while back.

"Fa-Fabrizio?" she stammered. Fabrizio looked tired and a bit confused, but not exactly surprised, which seemed odd to Rose.

"_Rosa_?" he said quietly. Then Rose could hold her tears back no more. Suddenly, her body shook with sobs and she collapsed into the arms of Jack's friend. She didn't even know the man, but he was here now, and he wasn't objecting. She needed to be held, and to be allowed to cry, and to have someone listen to her, and right now Fabrizio was the only one who could provide that. He gently patted her head, saying nothing for a long time. Rose couldn't think, not about anything, not even about the tears running down her face. She seemed to disappear into a world all her own until, after many long minutes, Fabrizio wiped a tear from her face.

"Come, _Rosa_," he said, smiling. He was such a happy person that it almost made things okay- almost. "Let's go sit down and talk about this, no?"

Rose couldn't do anything but nod and follow the Italian into the living room. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she vaguely wondered where Jack was, but it was blocked by a hazy fog of nothingness. She sat down on the couch next to Fabrizio in silence. From where they were, she could see the open door to the bedroom and had to tear her eyes away.

"Jack 'a told me about you having a baby," he whispered. Still shaking, Rose merely nodded again. Fabrizio rubbed the top of her hand in small circles with her fingers. Rose decided then that he was an extremely nice person- maybe one of the nicest she'd ever met. She could easily see why Jack called him his best friend. "He had to work tonight, so he tell me to stay here and wait for you. He know you come, _Rosa_. He know you love him."

"I know," she said simply.

"You want to talk?" he asked, clearly trying to make Rose feel comfortable. She wanted to tell him that he didn't have to worry- that she was fine her on the couch for the rest of the night, but she couldn't find the words. She couldn't really find any words.

Sighing, she admitted, "Not really. I... umm... I can... I thought Jack might... I can leave. If you want."

"No, no, no!" Fabrizio exclaimed, rising from the couch. "Jack tell me to make sure you 'a stay here, okay? He works midnights, but he be back at seven thirty. I make you some coffee, okay?"

Well, she thought, at least she knew something about him. She was glad Fabri had made her stay, because she really hadn't wanted to leave and didn't even know where that came from. She was really having issues with words right now. Again, she nodded and, curling up in the corner of the couch, rested her head against the cushion. She was just so tired- so ready to lay down and sleep, but so completely unable to.

Stopping in his tracks halfway to the kitchen, Fabrizio turned around and said, "I almost forgot, _bella Rosa._ Jack told me to give you this." He handed Rose an envelope that had her name written on it in a messy, slanted scrawl. Despite her mood, she couldn't help but smile. Jack had no way of knowing that she would be back to night or even ever again, and yet he had thought of her. Rose gently opened the envelope, which revealed a scrap of paper that was covered in the same scrawl as the envelope. Tears fell from her eyes all over again as she read it.

_Dear Rose,_

_I imagine that right now you're probably sitting on the couch with Fabri, feeling very much alone. I knew you would come here, see, because by now I've realized that you're the type of person who will do anything to reach her dreams. Remember that time at your school, when I told you that someday that fire that I love about you was going to burn out? Well, I know now that I was wrong. You're so strong, Rose- probably the strongest person I've ever met. You're probably almost crying now- don't cry; STOP CRYING! I mean it. _

_I'm at work right now but I'll be back before you even know it. I would tell you that you should probably try sleeping but you won't listen to me so I'm not going to. Tell the baby Daddy says hi . I love you, Rose._

_Jack_

Everything about that just made Rose want to see Jack even more. He was so amazing. She loved the way he'd said to tell the baby Daddy says hi. He didn't see the pregnancy as a problem or a mistake or an inconvenience; he was clearly letting her know that this baby was his child – their child – and that he was going to love him or her no matter what. Feeling sort of silly but knowing she had to do it, Rose put a hand to her still flat stomach, vaguely wondering how long it was going to stay that way.

"Hey, baby," she said, so quietly that her voice was barely audible. It felt really strange to be talking to her stomach. "I... I don't even know if you can hear me... I mean, I don't even know if you have ears or whatever, but umm... I'm your mommy and I love you very much. Your daddy loves you to, baby. Umm... I guess that's all, really." She paused, as though she was waiting for something, but she wasn't really sure what. Obviously the baby wasn't about to kick for four months or something like that, but she thought that maybe, if she sat still enough, she could feel it moving. Logically it made no sense, because it would be so small that it probably couldn't even really move, but you never know.

Although tears still flowed freely down her face, thinking about the baby moving inside her made her realize, at least a little bit, that this could be a very happy time. She and Jack could read to the baby, talk to it... she would watch what she ate and wake Jack up at three in the morning to make her weird foods and all of that stuff. Maybe this wasn't really such a crisis after all. In a newfound, almost hypnotic calm, Rose placed both hands on her stomach. She smiled slightly as Fabrizio came back into the room and handed her a cup of coffee.

Smiling, he asked, "You feel better, _Rosa_?"

"A little bit," she replied, bringing her knees up to her chest and attempting to take a sip of coffee. Instead of swallowing it, however, she was forced to spit it right back out as she gagged and felt her stomach rise into her chest. Thankfully, the feeling passed in a moment, but she took due note of the fact that coffee was now off her list.

"What time is it, Fabrizio?" she asked, counting the seconds until seven o'clock came. She hadn't even gotten home until well past midnight, so it couldn't be too far off.

Glancing down at his watch, the Italian replied, "2:07 to be exact."

Five hours... Rose felt as though she couldn't wait that long even if her life depended on it. She vaguely wanted to go to sleep so that the time would pass faster, but she didn't want to miss Jack walking through the door. She had to see him as soon as possible, and nothing was going to get in the way of that. She needed to find a way to stay awake, so she started to ask Fabrizio questions about himself and Jack.

"How long have you known Jack?" she asked, realizing that she knew absolutely nothing about his childhood. Had the two men gone to school together? Had they met at work? What school had Jack even gone to before he started travelling?

Presumably smiling because Rose was finally opening up at least a little bit, Fabrizio said, "Jack and I met 'bout two and half 'a years ago when he come here from Europe. I live in New York all my life, but I always want to travel and 'a see the world. Jack, he already done all of that and I think to myself, this is an interesting guy, me and him will go out and see the world together, no?"

He didn't have to tell her that, evidently, it had never happened. Just like everybody else, money became a problem and they were stuck here just like everybody else. Never in these last two weeks had Rose imagined Jack to have been the type who was stuck in this stupid rut. That night at the party when he'd bravely told her mother that he loved his 'rootless existence' and that all he was trying to do was make it count, she'd pictured him as a worldly backpacker who could get up and leave tomorrow. Now she felt bad for weighing him down- he had a job, he could save up some money for him and Fabri to travel. She was going to ruin that.

"I'm sorry, Fabrizio," she whispered, her shaky tone full of unspoken words. She had to draw her eyes away from his face, hoping to God that he didn't blame her. She was surprised, then, to feel his hand on her cheek, as though to tell her that she hadn't done anything wrong and that this was the way he and Jack wanted it.

"It's okay, _Rosa_," he said, causing her to look back up into his eyes. Amazingly, he was smiling. "Now Jack is 'a going on the biggest adventure of his life, me, I get to watch a whole world develop without 'a ever leaving my house. It's like the best movie in the world, no? Like I say, amore is'a not logical, eh, _Rosa_?"

It was sort of ironic that, less than an hour, Rose had been so scared of leaving the home she'd hated all her life, just because it would be different. All her life, everything had been the same, and as boring as it was, it was comfortable and it was safe. But life was about more than that, wasn't it? Life was about being with people who cared about you, in a place where you were happy, giving it all you've got and trying to make each day count. As different as this new existence was going to be, it was far less frightening than her old life had been, and Rose felt like it was the place she was really meant to be. From here on in, her life was going toe the adventure she'd always prayed for.

Sometimes during the hours that she and Fabrizio talked about everything under the sun, Rose fell asleep. She had been fighting it and fighting it, but eventually she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. She rested fitfully for a bit, and when she opened her eyes again it took her a moment to realize where she was. It was still dark out, but not like it had been when she'd arrived. That meant Jack would be home soon!

In the kitchen, Fabrizio was singing some lively Italian tune, and the scent that wafted into the living room told her that he was also cooking. Unfortunately, mornings and food did not mix well for Rose right now. She groaned quietly and sprawled out on the couch, willing her queasy stomach to calm down, just for the morning. It last a little while, but as soon as her nose told her that Fabri had put a pot of coffee on, she was forced to dash to the bathroom.

She hadn't really been given a tour and hadn't yet seen the bathroom, but there was a closed door next to the bathroom which was the best option she had. Thankfully, she'd been correct. Rose hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon, so she was almost bemused by the fact that her stomach still managed to find something to shove up her throat. If she had to wake up like this every morning until the baby came, this was going to be a long nine months.

The cold of the porcelain toilet bowl was an oddly nice sensation underneath her clammy hands, but it didn't make her feel any better in the grand scheme of things. Again there was no one to hold her hair back, but she couldn't do it herself because her body was shaking so hard that she would have fallen over without supporting herself. That led to some excess bile ending up on the ends of her hair, which was altogether disgusting. When she was finally finished, she moved over to the sink, splashed her face with cold water and tried to get the sticky vomit out of her tangled red curls.

Analyzing her reflection in the mirror, she had to admit that the face staring back at her wasn't exactly the most wide awake one in the world. Her hair and makeup was still done from the night before, but her updo was halfway undone and her purple eye shadow framed her eyes like two dark bruises. She would fix it sometime this morning, but she really wasn't up to it right now.

Back in the kitchen, Fabrizio was finished cooking, which meant the smells weren't quite as overwhelming. He was still singing, though, and smiled brightly at the sight of Rose as though he'd had a perfect night's sleep.

"Ah, _bella Rosa_!" he exclaimed. "It's a beautiful morning, no?" Rose couldn't help but smile at his childlike happiness.

"I guess it is. Jack should be home soon, right?" she asked, noting that the clock in front of her said it was ten after seven.

"Any time," Fabrizio agreed.

As though her words had summoned him from a far-off world, there was a knock at the door. Rose jumped up to get it, unable to contain her excitement. Although she had no idea why, just the sight of Jack made all of last night's tears come flooding back, but she smiled to let him know she was okay despite her tear-stained face. Jack looked as gorgeous as ever, smiling happily, his bright blue eyes twinkling.

"Good morning, Jack!" Rose exclaimed happily, pulling him into a hug. He squeezed her back and then let go, the smile replaced with a look of concern.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked, brushing a tear from her cheek.

Rose couldn't help but laugh, surprised that her hormones were taking over already. "It's nothing," she explained. "I'm just so happy to see you."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it," Jack said, working his way around Rose and into the apartment. He kept his left arm behind his back and out of Rose's view the whole time. "I'm sorry I'm late, guys. I just had to pick something up. These are for you."

He then revealed what he'd been hiding behind his back- the most colourful display of flowers Rose had seen in her life- yellow and orange Gerber daisies, white and pink lilies, sprays of blue and purple wildflowers, and, nestled in the very middle of them all, a single red rose. Jack had to be the most amazing man in the entire world- it was absolutely impossible for anyone to love a person the way he loved her, and it made her wish she could be more like him.

For a moment, she was speechless. If they had been from anyone else, flowers wouldn't even be a big deal- any guy could go and out and get flowers for his wife on their anniversary or a corsage for his prom date, but there was something about them coming from Jack that made it different. Everything he did was so full of love- you could see it in his eyes.

"Oh, Jack..." she said. "Thank you!" She threw her arms around him and felt herself begin to cry all over again. In his arms, she felt like it was okay to be vulnerable and small and afraid, because he would protect her from everything and make it okay.

"I love you, Rose," he whispered, running his hands through her tangled mass of curls. She felt safe with him- so safe and so loved that it was as though she hadn't just left the prison that had been her home, where her vengeful mother and psychopathic fiancé were probably plotting a way to get her back in their grasp right that very second. It was as though it was okay that she was seventeen and pregnant with no way of making money- none of that mattered, because she was here with Jack now, and Jack loved her. "No matter what."

"I love you, too."

With that, she kissed Jack softly and playfully, then again and again. They almost forgot that there was a world around them, but Fabrizio's perpetual happiness quickly brought them back down to earth.

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!" he sang, his joyful tone almost making up for the fact that he was unbearably off key. "When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine that's amore!"

As soon as Rose and Jack turned around to look at him, the Italian man laid out a plate of toast on the table and whistled as though he hadn't seen anything and had just been singing a song, but no one could pretend like they'd missed his would-be Freudian slip. The pair just laughed, slipping their hands into each other's and grinning as though they had some sort of deep, dark secret between just the two of them.

"C'mon, let's all sit down and eat," Jack said. "We've got some stuff to talk about."

Personally, Rose couldn't think of anything she wanted to do less.


	15. Tough Love

**Again, guys, I'm sorry for the dismal lack of updates, but I've been so busy lately with dance, homework and just life in general. And yet, you amazing people find the time to review. and more this time around than ever before. Love you all... thanks for being the driving force that's keeping this story (and me) going. :D**

Chapter Fifteen

Fiore Towers Apartment Building

#39 West 45th Street

"Okay, Rose," Jack said as he sat down at the table, "I know you probably don't want to do this, and I can completely understand, but it does need to be taken care of right away."

Almost instinctively, and for no apparent reason, Rose heard the dark half of that sentence- its worst possible meaning; the most awful thing he could have meant by it. She shook such thoughts away, because the logical part of her brain new that Jack would mean nothing of the sort. She, too, sat down, although she had no intention of eating.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, trying not to sound all too defensive, but she couldn't keep the concern from her voice. She knew Jack would never think that... he would never want that... but in a weird sort of way, that was what it had sounded like. She could feel her stomach tying itself up in knots, but she couldn't let that show.

Jack reached across the table and gently held Rose's hand, which made her even more confused. "Rose, I understand if you don't want to go for this, and if you just want to take care of things your own way, but I think I have a really good idea."

Now Rose was worried- in fact, she was almost angry. What was he suggesting? She couldn't say anything for fear of lashing out at him- she knew if she opened her mouth, she wouldn't be able to control the words that came out, and she didn't want Jack to think she mad at him if there was no reason to be. Instead she said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

"While I was at work, I was reading through the Times and I saw this little clipping for this pregnancy resource center. It's sort of like a walk-in clinic, and basically they do everything. You can take a pregnancy test, not that you need one, and they help you draw up a birth plan and apply for financial support if you need it, and pretty much everything you could imagine needing. They also help teenagers talk to their parents, if that's something you wanted to..." Jack's voice trailed off, as though he was afraid to say something that might offend her.

"It's not," Rose snapped, "but that does sound like a pretty good idea." Now that he'd said what he'd been thinking, Rose felt utterly stupid for ever having doubted him. Although she was glad now that all he wanted to do was take care of things, he'd hit a nerve with the first thing he'd mentioned- a pregnancy test. Although she hadn't told him yet and was sort of hoping to skirt around ever telling him, Rose hadn't exactly taken a pregnancy test. She realized now that it was stupid to have jumped to such a conclusion without knowing for sure, but it all just felt so real. People know when they're pregnant, right, especially when all the symptoms are there? You can just tell, can't you? She struggled to put that thought in the back of her mind, knowing that sometime very soon Jack would find out and hoping he wouldn't be too angry.

Jack nodded, "I thought so, too. Rose, I know you're probably scared shitless right now- I gotta admit, I am too. But you know we can do this, right? We can do it together, and then think of everybody we've got behind us. Hell, look at what Fabri did for us just last night."

"It was nothing," the Italian shrugged, making Rose almost laugh at loud. He had stayed up with her for the better part of all night- it was something she wasn't about to forget any time soon. Jack was right- these people were amazing. She wished that she had grown up in a world like this. True, there was hardly any money, but what did that really matter, when at the end of the day you were surrounded by people who loved you?

Smiling, Rose said, "Well, it might have been nothing, but I'm still glad you did it. Thank you."

After that, the trio ate their breakfast and talked happily about a whole host of things- Jack and Fabrizio's work, Rose's school, their families... everything. Jack was surprisingly in Rose's education. His parents had died the summer between ninth and tenth grade, so he never really got to experience much of high school and its ups and downs. As Rose told him about her friends and teachers, however, he slowly became worried about how they would react to her pregnancy. He was afraid that she would become ostracized and isolated from the people she'd grown up with, but he refused to voice his concerns. Rose already had a lot on her plate, and he didn't want to worry her any more.

As they finished eating, Rose got up from the table. "I definitely need to have a shower before we go anywhere," she declared, absent-mindedly fingering the tangled mess that was her hair, "but after that do you think we could go right away? I just kind of want to get out, if that's okay with you, Jack."

"Of course," Jack said, and Rose knew that, at least in some small way, he understood why she needed to just be outside, breathing in the open air, away from all of this. That just might be the best part about him, if there was any distinguishable one- he always seemed to understand what was going on inside her head, even if he could never really know.

Rose went to pick up her plate from the table but something caught her hand on the table cloth. She realized then that she was still wearing Cal's ring. Laughing to herself, she pulled it off her finger and scrutinized it for a long moment. She couldn't help it when her mouth turned up at the ends into a crooked smile. It was the hugest diamond she's seen in her life, and most girls would probably love the idea of being given such a gift. She found it a horrendously tacky, ugly thing to be honest.

"Fabri, you have a girlfriend?" she asked, amused by his perplexed expression.

He nodded, "_Si, Rosa_. Her name is 'a Helga."

Rose smiled him, thinking about how little money Fabrizio must make, and how thrilled his girlfriend might be at the prospect of such a gift. "Well, if you ever decide to marry her, or even just want to give her a nice Christmas or birthday present, you give her this ring, alright? I sure as hell don't want it!"

Fabrizio looked confused, as though he didn't understand why someone would want to give away such a precious jewel.

"I could never take that from you, _Rosa_. Why do you no want it?"

It occurred to her then that, as far as this situation went, Fabrizio was in exactly the opposite position that she was. He probably didn't know where the ring came from, and even if he did, he probably didn't have a clue as to why Rose wanted to get rid of it. Sure, he knew that Cal had been an asshole and that he didn't care about anyone but himself, but how could he possibly understand the extent of the pain Cal had put Rose through when he himself had been fortunate enough not to have experienced it? Rose had to smile at the fact that he was just to loving to understand such hate.

Laughing slightly, she said, "Trust me, Fabri. It's the last thing I want in the entire world, as beautiful as it is. Helga will love it."

"Well then, thank you, _bella Rosa._ I will keep it for the right moment."

Rose handed the ring to him, but not without a moment of the slightest hesitation. She wanted to get rid of it with all of her heart, but at the same time it was the last thing she had which kept to her attached to the safety net of her past. Was she really ready to give it up? Yes, she decided, she was. Once the ring was in Fabrizio's hands, Rose felt like a massive weight had been lifted from her chest. She had made the right decision.

Once she was in the shower, Rose turned the water on as hot as it would go, letting the jet stream pound against her tense shoulders. For the first time in her life, she felt really and truly relaxed. She wasn't afraid to get into the shower without locking the door in case Cal barged in or something, and she wasn't afraid to get out of the shower because her mother would surely have some reason to yell at her by then. The total bliss and happiness of the situation overloaded her system, and before she knew it she was crying all over again. She was crying and laughing and praying to God that Jack and Fabri couldn't hear how stupid she must have sounded, but she was doing it anyway.

As she lathered shampoo into her messy hair, the tears finally stopped flowing, and hopefully for good this time. How lucky was she to be where she was now, especially considering that she'd been trying to kill herself less than a month ago? God, what if she really had? What if Jack hadn't been there to save her from herself? _It must have been that God, or Fate, or whoever or whatever is was that watches over us,_ she decided, _knew that I needed Jack and he needed me. And whoever They are, thank Them for that._

Rose spent the better part of half an hour in the shower, just enjoying the sensation of warm water running down her back and washing away all of the stress and pain. When she finally did get out, she dressed in a simple t-shirt, jeans and zip-up sweater. She had brought as many clothes as she could fit in her bag with her, including a couple of skirts and blouses that her mother would have preferred, but Rose was tired of dressing like that. She was tired of being Rose DeWitt Bukater, socialite and heiress to a multi-million dollar fortune- from now on, she was just going to be Rose DeWitt Bukater, Jack Dawson's girlfriend and hopefully a good mother.

If I even am a mother, a voice in the back of Rose's head told her. As stupid as it was not to have taken a test, Rose had never before questioned whether or not she was truly pregnant. About two weeks after that night with Jack, she had begun to feel different... slightly nauseous and tired all the time. For the first time in her life, Rose prayed for the one thing that would reassure her. Two weeks came and went, and nothing. Her nausea got worse, she began throwing up, she lost a little bit of weight, all of the things they said came with early pregnancy. In her frazzled daze, the idea of actually taking a pregnancy test had slipped her mind. She knew, though, beyond a shadow of a doubt. At least, she though she knew.

Pushing the though from her mind, Rose opened the door to the bathroom a crack and called out, "Jack, do you have a hair dryer?"

"Nope," he called back. The sound of footsteps told Rose he was making his way towards the bathroom. "I guess we're going to have to take care of that."

Jack stood in the doorway and watched as Rose ran smoothing serum through her hair and brushed her teeth. He was absolutely silent, just smiling at the sight of the woman in front of him. For a moment, Rose's gaze caught his in the mirror and she couldn't help but smile broadly, amazed at just how beautiful he was. She had no way of knowing that he was thinking exactly the same thing.

Rose bent over and reached into her bag to grab her make-up kit, then stopped. Did she really need it? She stood back up and turned to Jack.

"Do I look any different than usual?" she asked, hoping he would pick up on what she getting at. Jack raised his eyebrows, and Rose's heart sank a little bit. He didn't even notice. "What about my face?" she prodded. "Is it different then before?"

Jack continued to stare at her for a moment, dumbfounded. Then, like a light bulb turning on in his head, his eyes lit up. "You haven't got any make-up on! And you're more beautiful than ever," he added, not because he knew that was what Rose was searching for (although he did), but because it was true.

At the sight of her mile-wide grin, Jack couldn't help but do the same. Rose wrapped her arms around him and he could feel her smile against his neck.

"Well then," she declared, "I guess I don't need to put any on. Did Fabri leave while I was in the shower?"

Jack nodded. "He said he was sorry, but he had to go to work."

Rose laughed. She could picture Fabri in her mind, apologizing about having to go and do his job. He was such a great person- everyone Jack had introduced her to so far was. All her life, she'd been afraid of raising a child in the same family she'd been raised in, but she didn't have to worry about that anymore. This baby was going to be so unimaginably loved.

Grabbing her purse from inside her bag and draping it over her shoulder, Rose asked, "You ready to go?"

Jack nodded and wrapped his arm around Rose's waist. She giggled as his hand fell a little bit lower, and smacked him playfully on the arm.

"Jack!" she pretended to chastise him. "The baby can probably feel when you do that, you know! Keep it appropriate!"

At that, Jack laughed at loud. "Don't you want my child to know how much I love her mother?"

The fact that he had referred to the baby as 'her' did not slip Rose's notice. She smiled secretly but let it be. Although she would be happy no matter what, and as long as the baby was healthy it would be perfect, she would be lying if she told herself that she wasn't secretly hoping for a little girl. She would have thought that Jack might have wanted a boy that he could raise to be just like him, but she was glad to know that he was with her on the gender front. She could see it now in her mind- Jack and his daddy's girl. Him holding her when she was born, teaching her how to ride a bike, smiling with pride when she graduated from high school, walking her down the aisle on her wedding day...

Realizing that she was getting way ahead of herself, considering she and Jack weren't even married yet, Rose pulled her mind out of the clouds and lead Jack out the door and into the elevator. They took a cab to the walk-in clinic, which was where the pregnancy resource center was. Rose remembered it vaguely now- back in the ninth grade these ladies from the clinic had her health class handouts about the center, the phone number for Planned Parenthood and a package of condoms. She remembered her teacher telling them that the presentation was supposed to be teaching them not to have premarital sex, but she also remembered thinking that was true, why were they giving them birth control?

When they got to the clinic, Rose suddenly felt nervous. Were these people going look down on her? Would Jack be in trouble for being twenty and getting a minor pregnant? God, thank hadn't occurred to her before. Then she remembered that nobody could press charges against him but her, and that sure as hell wasn't going to happen. But still, they would obviously notice how old he was, and they might judge him; look at him negatively. All her life, Rose had been judged by adults- she'd felt them scrutinizing her, measuring her up to their standards. It hadn't occurred to her before that, in a way, the world was always going to be like that.

Inside the elevator that was taking them up to the fifth floor, Jack, apparently sensing Rose's nervousness, gently grasped her hand and weaved his fingers into hers. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart," he whispered, as though he could read her mind. She tried to tell herself that it would be, but inside, something was screaming that it wouldn't.

Upon exiting the elevator, Jack and Rose were faced head-on with a sign that read 'New York City Pregnancy Resource Center' in delicate pink lettering. All of a sudden, the whole thing felt very real, and Rose wanted to throw up all over again. She held on to Jack's hand a little more tightly as they walked into the waiting room. Rose was surprised to see that it look more like a family therapy office than a walk-in clinic- there were three couches pushed up against walls, a table covered in magazines and a water dispenser in the corner. Every attempt had clearly been made to make the place seem homey- even the receptionist's desk looked more like it belonged in a teenager's bedroom. The whole vibe was completely different from what she had expected, and Rose didn't know whether to comforted or freaked out by it.

As they approached the receptionist, Jack grinned cheekily at Rose as though to say, 'This is it.' That alone was a comfort, and she instantly held her head a little bit higher. _I can do this,_ she told herself._ We can do this._

"How can I help you?" the receptionist asked them. She was a middle-aged woman who wore horn-rimmed glasses and not the most pleasant of expressions. Rose was reminded of the secretary at her school, which automatically made her palms sweat.

"Umm," she stammered, struggling to find her voice. "I- I was wondering if we could speak to one of the nurses or... or something like that..."

The receptionist sighed as she removed her glasses and leaned back in her chair, as though she'd seen enough pregnant teenagers to last her a lifetime.

"Name?" she asked, in the most monotone voice imaginable.

"Rose DeWitt Bukater."

"What seems to be the problem?" she asked, as though it wasn't obvious. Rose felt the words getting caught in the back of her mouth, but Jack began to rub his thumb against her palm just in time to save her from looking like a complete idiot.

"Well, I'm pregnant," she choked out, as though it was the simplest thing in the world. Again, the receptionist sighed deeply, this time rolling her eyes.

"Aren't they all?" she muttered, thumbing through a stack of papers on her desk until she found a package about three sheets thick and handed it to Jack and Rose. It was full of all sorts of questions- name, age, place of birth, parents' names... did any of this matter at all? "You two can go sit down and fill these out while I wait for a nurse to become available."

Feeling very out of place, Jack and Rose sat down on one of the couches and began to leaf through the sheets they'd been handed. Rose was beginning to stress over how many questions they didn't have an answer to- number to call in case of an emergency, place to stay in the event of a break-up- what kind of questions were these? Thankfully, another look at the top of the very first page told her that only the first sections was mandatory- their names, birthdates and phone numbers. Breathing a sigh of relief, she filled out the information quickly then silently passed the clipboard to Jack.

The waiting room was empty, save for a girl sitting alone on the opposite side of the room. She looked to be about five months pregnant, and at the moment was gently caressing her distended belly as though it was all she had left in the world. Rose had felt some level of self-pity all her life, but as she watched the girl sitting there, looking lonely and afraid, she was thankful to at least have Jack by her side. She couldn't even imagine going through this alone. The girl looked up at her for a fleeting moment, and Rose tried to smile at her without looking too pitiful.

She and Jack were silent as they waited to be called into the nurse's office- what was there to say, really? He held her hand and stroked it in smooth, gentle circles, and she in turn laid her head on his shoulder. It was some strange form of grace when the receptionist called her name. Still holding onto Jack's hand, Rose approached the door that was being held open for her.

The woman sitting inside was much younger and much nicer looking than the receptionist. Rose felt a fist unclench within her, and she smiled as the woman extended her hand.

"Hello, there," she said. "I'm Evelyn. You must be Jack and Rose."

"That'd be us," Jack said, flashing that charming smile he was so good at. Evelyn gestured at two chairs behind them, and the couple sat down, feeling much less nervous than before.

"So, what can I do for you?" Evelyn asked. _What can't you do for us?_ was the better question in Rose's opinion. What was she supposed to say? I'm pregnant, we're broke, we have no idea how to take care of a baby nor do we have a doctor who knows how to do it. So basically if you don't help us this kid is screwed. How about that?

Sighing tiredly, Rose said, "Well, I'm pregnant, as though that wasn't obvious. I'm seventeen and I'm still in school, and there's really nobody I can go to about this. I've recently moved out of my mother's house and I'm living with Jack, and I'd like to keep it that way. So I guess we really need someone to, you know, tell us what to do."

Evelyn smiled, looking as though she really and truly cared about these two strangers in her office. Rose had expected the staff here to be desensitized to this sort of thing, but Evelyn was anything but. The more time Rose spent with her, the more comfortable she felt. Jack's grip on her hand loosened, and she could tell her was feeling the same way.

"How far along are you?" she asked, taking out a pen and scrawling on a clipboard. Rose looked at Jack, trying to calculate the exact number of days.

"Almost three weeks," Jack explained. "Probably 18 days?" Rose nodded in agreement; that seemed right.

"So you caught on early, Rose?" she asked, smiling again. Rose just nodded, praying she would take it what it was and leave it there. After all, who was she to question whether or not they were telling the truth? For a split second, Rose genuinely believed that part of the appointment was over. That moment ended too quickly. Those eight words felt that eight bullets falling into to Rose's heart. There was no way she could hide it from Jack any longer.

"Would you like to take a pregnancy test?"

"We don't need to," Jack insisted instantly. "Rose is sure, aren't you, sweetheart?"

What was she going to do? She had to think on her feet; to make something up. Now that it was out there, Rose wouldn't really have minded taking a test just to be sure, but how was sure going to beat around the bush and hide the fact that she hadn't taken on yet?

Shrugging, she said, "I wouldn't mind taking another one, just to be sure."

Evelyn didn't seem to have a problem with this, and Rose recalled that women often took more than one just to be sure. Jack, however, didn't seem to agree.

"What's the point, Rose?" he asked. He didn't sound angry or upset; just as though he was really wondering what the point was. Rose couldn't lie to him though- it wouldn't have been a big lie, and he no one would be the wiser, but she couldn't find it within her to do it. She just loved him too much.

She felt herself shaking as she opened her mouth, amazed that she could even make words come out. "I- Well, Jack, I... I never actually... I never did one." There. She'd said it. What sort of damage could the truth do? It was always better than lying, wasn't it?

Apparently not.

Jack's face was like a wall for a moment- no emotion, no sound, no movement. Rose knew Jack-he couldn't be that angry with her, could he? He was Jack, after all; that is to say, the most loving, understanding person she'd ever met, and probably the most forgiving. Besides that, he wasn't inside her body. He couldn't know how she felt. He had, however, stumbled upon her vomiting outside of the Tavern on the Green for no apparent reason, and had barely walked in the door this morning when she was sobbing in his arms. Wasn't that good enough? She knew she was pregnant; she could feel it. He should just believe her on that alone, shouldn't he?

"Look, Rose," he said, resting his head on his finger tips. "Just do the damn test, okay? We'll talk about this later."

Rose felt her palms beginning to sweat and her stomach turning around in knots. Evelyn seemed to have shrunk back from the tension and become as much a part of the room as the walls and chairs were. What was she supposed to say?

"Will... will you wait with me?"

Jack sighed, sounding tired. "Sure. Whatever. Just do it."

So she did. Rose went into the bathroom, biting back tears. She did the test, trying to ignore everything that had just happened. In a moment, two little lines were going to show up on the tiny, hand-held test and it would all just go away. She opened the door and let Jack in, slipping her fingers into his, pretending nothing was wrong. He said they'd talk about later, and they would. She would be sure of it.

Finally, after the longest three minutes of Rose's life, there was first one line, then two. She was pregnant. She was going to be a mother. She was going to be a mother! Completely forgetting what had just happened between her and Jack, she turned around and kissed him full on the mouth. He seemed to have forgotten as well, because he kissed her back with just as much passion. When they pulled apart, they gazed into each other's eyes for a moment too long, and all of a sudden you cut the tension between them with a knife. He had yelled at her- he had really, truly yelled at her, and it wasn't about to disappear any time soon.

"Congratulations, Rose," Jack said, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"You too, babe." It was all she could say. What else was there, really? They sat back down in the chairs across from Evelyn, who was smiling happily as though she had completely missed on what had transpired over the last five minutes in her own office. Was she trained to be this perpetually happy?

"I suppose you'll be needing to contact an OB/GYN, then," she said, writing something down on her clipboard. "I'm going to give you the phone number for a Doctor Gillian Tan. She practices at New York Metropolitan Hospital, which is three blocks from here. What I'm doing now is writing down a list of prenatal vitamins you'll want to take, and I'm also going to schedule an initial appointment with Doctor Tan for you. Does that sound okay with you two?"

Jack and Rose both nodded silently, to afraid to break the thin ice that stood between them with the heavy weight of their words. Their fingers were no longer entwined in each other's, and Rose's hand felt strangely cold and empty. Jack loved her. Jack cared about her. Jack didn't snap at her. Cal did.

"Here's my work and home number," Evelyn continued, that perpetual smile still fixed on her face. "You can call me any time you like. You're going to have to process these forms at your appointment with Doctor Tan, which should be within the next two weeks," she explained, handing over the sheets from her clipboard that she'd been filling out. "Is there anything either one of you want to talk about?"

_Yes,_ Rose thought._ A lot of things. Just not with you. _What she said, though, was, "Not particularly. What about you Jack?"

Jack shook his head, making Rose wonder if he was feeling the same way she was. She wished she could take it all away. She wished she'd been smart enough to just take the damn test four days ago and avoid the entire situation. Too late now, though, wasn't it?

"Thank you for your time, Evelyn," Jack said, rising from his seat. Rose did the same, and thanked Evelyn as well. The exited the room in complete silence, ignoring the accusatory stares from the receptionist, the loud grind of the elevator and the roar of traffic outside. For Rose, at least, none of it even reached her consciousness.

Jack's voice pulled her out of her reverie and brought her crashing back down to earth. "Rose!" he shouted. "Are you even listening? I said I'm sorry for the way I acted in there. I must have really embarrassed you."

Rose stopped dead in her tracks, noticing that Jack had done the same. The tension between them was as thick as ever, and although Jack's words were an apology, his voice told her otherwise. She didn't understand what his deal was- she really was pregnant and they both knew it now, although she had known all along. So what if she didn't take a stupid test! It obviously hadn't impacted the grand scheme of things. For a moment, she considered turning around and snapping at him like he had snapped at her, but the words got caught in her throat she couldn't choke them out. She took a deep breath and tired again.

"Sorry," she murmured. Then, without even knowing where it came from, "Are you mad at me?"

Jack sighed again, pressing his hand to his forehead and biting his bottom lip. If Rose didn't know any better, she would have thought that he was biting back tears in the same way she was. What had she done to hurt him this badly?

"Look, Rose, sweetheart," he said gently, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I love you, you know that right? I'm not mad at you. It's not me I'm worried about here. It's you."


	16. Not Without You

**Well, thanks for the reviews as always. Love y'all.  
I had some trouble uploading it so hopefully it was worth it and you guys like it. It's shorter than the last three, but good things can come in small packages, so I'm hoping that's the case with this one. :D**

Chapter Sixteen

Manhattan Walk-In Clinic

"It's not me I'm worried about here. It's you."

"Wh-what?" Rose sputtered, completely confused by Jack's words. She knew that he cared about her and would never want to see anyone hurt her, especially not herself, but the way he'd reacted wasn't anywhere close to typical of someone who was just worried. He'd sounded offended, upset... even downright angry. "What do you mean, you're worried about me? That's not what it sounded like in there! It sounded to me like you were-"

"Shh, Rose," Jack said, his voice ten times more soft than it had been only minutes ago. "Calm down; we're in public. I have to talk to you, Rose, okay? Come on, let's go somewhere."

Completely confused by Jack's words, Rose just followed him as he stepped up to the curb and hailed a cab. Evidently she had messed up somewhere along the line, and he was concerned. Hadn't she told him weeks ago that she didn't need him to save her? Did she look like she didn't know what she was doing or something? As much as Rose knew Jack loved her and would only ever have her best intentions at heart, she didn't need to be taken care of and she especially didn't need people to do it by yelling at her in public. With her arms crossed over her chest and looking very much like the small, precocious child she had been ten years ago, she slid into the cab next to Jack.

"Eighth and Broadway, please," Jack said to the driver, which puzzled Rose even further. It also excited her, though, because in all of her seventeen years, she'd never once been to Greenwich Village. Her mother hated it because it was full of 'hippies and homosexuals and the like,' so she'd never allowed her daughter to go there. Although Rose reminded her many times that Astor Place was in the Village, so it couldn't be all that bad, Ruth never listened. Still, she was now as confused and angry with Jack as ever, and she wasn't about to let something like that slip.

"The Village?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why are we going to the Village?"

"Calm down, Rose," Jack said, taking her hand in his again as though to reassure her that he wasn't angry. "I'll explain when we get there, alright?"

Rose considered rolling her eyes and muttering 'Whatever,' but decided against it. She had to admit- as upset as she was, now she really wanted to know what was so special about the Village and why Jack wanted to wait until they were there to talk. It reminded her of the times when she was very small and her father would take her to Central Park every time he had something important to tell her. She would sit in preoccupied silence during the entire walk, just bursting to know the secret that was about to be shared with her. Her mother had tried to pull that trick on her when her father died, but Rose was far too old to fall for it, and it was obvious anyway. What need could their possibly be to tell someone something so urgent that you had to leave the hospital and go all the way to Central Park on the other side of town? Rose had been preparing herself the whole way, so she hadn't cried when her mother told her, or for three days after that. In fact, she cried after the funeral and that was that, because she had to 'keep face and not show weakness in the face of adversity.' That was what Ruth had said, anyway, but what we she know? After all, there is no such thing as an emotional blow when you have no emotions in the first place.

The cab ride felt like it took hours, but when it finally pulled up at the corner of Eighth and Broadway, Jack appeared to be in no hurry to get to wherever they were going.

"You ever been to the Village before, Rose?" he asked, wrapping his fingers through hers. They began to walk down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace, much to Rose's dismay.

She shook her head. "Never. Can you please tell me what's going on now, Jack?" she pressed, eager to get this over with. Jack, however, continued to walk ahead, evidently headed to a specific place.

Rose was starting to grow anxious now, because whatever it was that she had that was so self-demeaning, surely it didn't warrant all this pomp and circumstance. Evidently Jack wanted to have a serious discussion, but she didn't understand why. So she might have jumped the fence a little bit without taking a test first, but what was the big deal? How could that hurt her in any way?

"I know this one cafe I want to take you to," Jack explained. "We can talk there, okay?"

Rolling her eyes, Rose said, "I can't drink coffee anymore Jack. It's not good for the baby and it makes me sick."

"Then you can have water," he replied simply. "They have food, too." It appeared as though nothing was going to get in the way of his plans, so Rose kept her mouth shut the rest of the way. After they'd been walking for nearly ten minutes, Jack stopped in front of a small red brick building nestled between two much larger ones, with a sign that read 'Elio's Cafe.' He opened the door for Rose and she smiled at him, unable to be angry with him for too long. He was far too good to her.

They took a seat across from each other in a booth by a window. Outside, the sidewalks were lined with people talk and laughing amongst each other. Rose decided that if there was any part of New York City that could be described as quaint, it was probably here. As they waited for a waitress to take their order, Jack reached across the table and took Rose's hand.

"Look, Rose," he said quietly. Finally, an explanation! "I'm sorry about the way I acted in there, but I really was just worried about you. Did you ever stop to think about what you would have done if you weren't pregnant after all?"

There were a thousand hidden meanings behind Jack's words, none of which needed explaining. Rose understood what he was implying- that she could never go home now, that she had no money, and that she was probably going to live with Jack for the rest of the foreseeable future. While he had a point, Rose felt a little bit insulted by the way that he presumed she didn't know what was best for her. She was seventeen, after all. She was fully capable of looking out for herself.

"Jack, I knew I was pregnant, okay?" she said, sounding harsher than she'd intended to. "Just because I didn't take a stupid test, it doesn't mean I didn't know! Besides, do you think I didn't think about running away before I did it?" In truth, she hadn't thought about it at all. She'd sat in her room, angry as hell, for an hour and a half, then up and left, but Jack didn't have to know that.

Laughing, Jack replied, "Rose, I _know_ you didn't think about it. You never think about things, but that's what I love about you. Look," he whispered, leaning over a bit to look Rose directly in the eye, "I love having you live with me. If I had my way we'd stay just the way we are forever, but that's not what matter right now. You have a future, Rose. You're brilliant, and you could go to university or travel the world or do whatever you want, but I don't have the means to support you while you're doing it. What if you'd run away from your mom for nothing? What if you weren't really pregnant? Then you would have thrown that all away for nothing! I couldn't bear to watch you do that."

Rose had no words with which to respond to that. Everything he said was true, and in fact she'd lain awake many nights over the last week mulling the same things over in her head again and again. Unless she won the lottery, there was no way she was going to go to university next year, which was a huge disappointment because it had always been her goal in life to study art at the University of Southern California. She understood that caring for this baby was more important than her dreams now, but she couldn't pretend that Jack didn't have a real, solid point. What if she'd thrown it all away for nothing? God, she was so stupid!

She couldn't bear to look at Jack any longer- reflected in his eyes was his pure love and concern for her- more than she had ever felt in her life- and she had betrayed that love by making a decision that could have ruined her life. Drawing her eyes down to her lap, she whispered, "I'm sorry."

Though she kept her eyes facing downwards, Rose felt Jack's hand on her cheek as he said, "It's okay. It doesn't matter now, anyways, because we're parents. How cool is that?"

No matter what he did, Jack couldn't go ten minutes without making her smile. Begrudgingly, she lifted her eyes up to his beautiful face.

"Pretty cool."

Not a moment later, a peppy blonde waitress approached their table to take their order. Rose ordered a glass of water and, because she had decided to eat as healthily as possible during her pregnancy, a blueberry muffin. Jack decided right then and there that he would make every single lifestyle change that Rose did, so that she would be more comfortable, and ordered the same thing. He even passed up on the coffee, remembering that the smell of it made Rose sick. As they ate, the couple drew up a plan for the rest of their day.

"You know, Rose," Jack said, smiling coyly, "I know we've been together over the last two weeks, but we've always been on a schedule, doing things when your mom it out and Cal's away. I've been thinking, and I realized that we haven't been on a single real date yet."

As surprising as it was, Jack was right. Today was their first day together without having to worry about getting caught. The more Rose thought about it, the more she felt like a thirteen-year-old who'd just gotten her first kiss. There was something magical about being truly free to be with Jack.

Raising an eyebrow and smiling back at him, she said, "Then I guess we'd better make it count, right?"

They finished eating quickly and, after leaving the waitress a good tip, strolled out into the street. It was now late morning, and the sun was streaming down over the street of New York City. Everywhere Rose looked, the city was alive with people- children, families and couples making the most of a Sunday morning together. Musicians with their guitar cases open next to them dotted the streets, and every once in a while they'd encounter a stray hotdog or ice cream stand.

Rose had never exactly been satisfied with the hand she'd been dealt, but she'd always thought of herself a pretty happy person. How wrong she had been. She had never known true happiness until this morning. The feeling of Jack's fingers laced between hers, the sun warming the sidewalk under their feet and the melodic sound of Jack's voice lingering in her ears far after he'd stopped talking had to be the best sensation in the entire world. She felt as though she could lift herself off the ground and fly away at any moment. She hadn't even known before this morning that such pure elation and joy could exist.

"You know what I was thinking, Jack?" she asked, smiling as she spoke.

"What's that, Rose?"

She felt a level of intimacy and secrecy that she'd never known before as she shared her ideas with Jack. "In a little while, I mean a long while, I guess, after this baby gets born I get a job and we save up some money, we could move to Santa Monica. We get a beach house there or something, and just spend the rest of our lives together. We'd be so happy there, Jack."

Jack was quiet for a moment, but the smile on his face never left. They walked through a line of red, orange and yellow trees and passed the Cherry Lane Theatre, which Rose had heard of but never been to. She thought that someday she and Jack would take their child there, when they got a little bit older.

Finally, Jack said with a laugh, "This is crazy."

"I know!" Rose exclaimed, unable to contain her ecstasy. "It doesn't make any sense. That's why I trust it."

Jack stopped in his tracks and gazed at Rose, as though he was seeing a new and exotic species for the first time in his life. "What?" he asked incredulously.

Rose yanked gently on his hand to tell him to keep walking. She didn't want to stand still on a day like today. There was just so much beauty in the world and even though she couldn't see it all in one day, she wanted to see as much of it as she possibly could.

"All my life, I've just done what made sense and what was orderly and proper," she explained, "and I don't know a single person in my old world who I can really trust. Now, everything's so crazy and random and beautiful and it doesn't make sense at all. That's how I know I can trust it."

"God, Rose," Jack said, staring at her again. Every time he did that, she got completely entranced in his deep, beautiful blue eyes, trying to unwind every mystery that was buried deep within them. In fact, Rose was so captured by the stories his eyes told that she didn't notice he was leaning in to kiss her until their lips met. Just like that night on Tommy's boat, she felt a level of passion deep in her soul that could only come from being with the person you love.

As they separated, she whispered, "God, you're amazing, Jack."

"So are you, Rose," he said, taking her hand in his again. "Come on, you haven't even seen half the Village yet!"

Jack and Rose spent the next three hours touring Greenwich Village, which Rose decided had to be the greatest place in America. They saw the Jefferson Market Library, Washington Square Park and the apartment complex where Anna Wintour lived. They also spent a good deal of time in Astor Place, which really wasn't all it was cracked up to be. In Rose's opinion it was beautiful, just like the rest of the area, but she didn't think her mother would have liked it much.

It was the middle of October now, and all the leaves on the trees were dressed in their fall hues of burgundy, saffron and lemon yellow. It the Upper East Side where Rose had spent her entire life, the air was too polluted to appreciate the fully beauty of trees' changing colours, but here it was different. Maybe, if she and Jack never made it to Santa Monica, they could live here.

Astor Place Pharmaceuticals stood on the outskirts of its namesake, and seeing it reminded Rose of the list of prenatal vitamins that was tucked in her back pocket. She figured she should probably start taking them tonight, so she asked Jack if they could pop in for a few minutes.

Inside the drug store, Rose pulled out the list and began strolling up and down the aisles.

"It says to take a multivitamin with 400 milligrams of magnesium, 10 milligrams of vitamin E, 600 ug of folic acid, whatever the hell ug means, and a whole bunch of other stuff, plus an extra iron supplement," she explained to Jack. "What does that even mean?"

Jack shrugged sheepishly. "Your guess is as good as mine," he said, perusing the shelves behind them.

Rose bent over and eyed every package carefully, making sure the ingredients matched up with the list Evelyn had given them perfectly. She found an iron supplement almost right away, but was beginning to lose hope of finding a multivitamin when Jack's voice made her spin around.

"I think I found something," he explained, handing the tiny package to Rose. It claimed to offer complete prenatal care, and upon further inspection Rose found that everything in it was exactly what she was supposed to be taking. As she ticked off a list of vitamins in her head, she was reminded of going grocery shopping with Ruth when she was very small. All of a sudden Rose felt very much like a mother. Her free hand drifted unconsciously to her stomach as she read. This was for real.

"I think we're good now," she said to Jack, making her way to the checkout counter. Before she got there, though, she noticed something that made her stop dead in her tracks.

Isn't it funny how one thing can ruin your entire day? Just one crappy test or misplaced wallet was enough to send a person's mood plummeting. Rose had always been the type of person to try to look on the bright side, but the thing that was threatening to ruin her happiness was not a test or a wallet. It was her mother, standing just a few feet away from them.

Rose was shocked. Her mother would have never set foot in the village during the seventeen years Rose had known her, and now here she was. Her best guess was that this was where Ruth had expected to find a person like Jack living, but that didn't really explain why she would be in the pharmacy. None of that mattered at the moment, though. All that mattered was making sure Ruth didn't see them.

"Jack," she whispered, grabbing him by the arm, "we've got to get out of here before she sees us." It was too late for that, though, because Rose was already making her way across the aisle to where her daughter stood. Rose could only imagine what was going to happen to her and Jack now, and when she would get to see him again. She had fled from this situation only last night- she didn't want to go through it again. It wasn't a question of being with Jack, because that would happen no matter what. The only thing that mattered was the time they'd have to spend apart.

"Rose," Ruth declared, without even a hint of emotion, which made it impossible to tell if she was angry or thrilled. "What in God's name are you doing here?"

Alright, she was definitely angry.

"I... We... Well, we were buying prenatal vitamins," she said. What was better than the truth?

Ruth looked completely dumbfounded at this announcement, and for a moment it seemed as though she didn't know what to say. "Well what in the world are you doing that for?" she asked incredulously.

What kind of question was that? "Well, we're pregnant, Mother. I'm sure Cal told you that much," Rose explained, unable to hide the sharp edge in her voice.

Ruth threw her head back in laughter, thoroughly embarrassing her daughter. Did she not even realize that they were in public? True, stranger things had been known to happen in the Big Apple, but that didn't mean Rose had to live with it.

"Nonsense, Rose," she said, regaining her composure. "You're coming home with me and we're going to take care of that right away."

Deep inside of her, perhaps in a place she didn't even know existed, Rose felt something swirl up inside of her that she'd never felt before. It was like hatred and anger and hurt all together, only more. Ten times more. No, one thousand times more. She was done with this. With her mother and Cal and all of the bullshit she thought she'd put a stop to. She was just done.

"No."

For a long moment, there was silence. Ruth obviously couldn't believe her daughter had just said that to her, and while Jack believed in Rose's spirit and strength with all his heart, he was still constantly surprised by the way that fire popped up at the most unexpected of times. Rose was a little surprised at herself, too. All her life, she'd wanted nothing more than to look her mother in the eyes and tell her no. She wanted to tell her that this was her life, not her mother's. And now she had done it.

The was a look on Ruth's face – one of such indescribable shock and anger – that made Rose feel almost disgustingly pleased with herself. She really and truly did not want to hurt her mother, but if that was what it took to stop her mother from hurting her, then so be it. This was the twenty-first century, after all, and her mother was being absolutely ridiculous. She loved Jack and she wanted to be with him, not Cal. What was so hard to accept about that? She understood that her mother wanted the money and security that Cal and his inheritance provided, but there were other ways to make money. She could work! It wasn't like just because you were a woman you were automatically rendered incapable of manual labour.

Still looking shocked and almost as though even breathing was hard for her, Ruth said slowly, "What did you just say, Rose?"

"I said no," she spat out quickly, knowing that this courage might not last very long. "I love Jack, and Jack loves me, and we're staying together. That's just the way it is, Mother. Please, we're in public. If you want to talk about it, can we take it somewhere else? Please?"

Ruth sighed and tried to seem very poised and pompous, but Rose saw the same look of fear she'd seen her mother's eyes that morning after Cal had thrown all her stuff at her.

"There's no need," she explained, straightening her back and pursing her lips. "It's clear we'll never see eye to eye on this, Rose. But if that's that way it must be, then so be it."

Ruth turned on her heels and began to leave. Rose was surprised to feel a sinking, almost sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. As many times as she'd said it, did she really hate her mother all that much? The honest answer was no. As different as they were, they were related after all. The shared the same blood. Didn't that count for something? It broke Rose's heart to imagine her mother living all alone with no money and having to throw away to only life she'd ever known. She'd probably have to contend with Cal, as well, because while Ruth gained money from the marriage, he gained a link to their name, which in his mind was just as important. Rose couldn't stand to think of her mother suffering like that.

Before she even realized she'd opened her mouth, she said, "Mother… you… you could stay with me and Jack, if you wanted to."

Ruth stopped and turned around, a scrutinizing look pasted on her face. Rose thought for a moment that she must have been considering her offer, but it soon became clear that that was not the case at all.

"Rose, I have never heard a more ridiculous thing in my life. I could never live like that… that gutter rat!"

Her mother's words cut Rose to the core, and for a moment it felt as though she couldn't breathe. It was enough that she had insulted her- that had been known to happen very often – but what she'd said about Jack could not be excused. She didn't even know him! She probably wouldn't have ever guessed that he had a job, or any friends, or that he was a role model for a six-year-old girl, or that he was an amazing boyfriend and she already knew he was going to be a great dad. If she had known that and still chosen to pass judgement on him because of a stupid thing like money, then so be it. But she didn't. She didn't know a thing about him. Ruth thought that money was the only thing in this goddamn world that mattered. She was so ignorant!

"Well then," Rose said curtly, sounding every inch the lady Ruth had always wanted her to be, "goodbye, Mother."

Ruth was already walking away again. Jack had laced his fingers through Rose's, knowing, like he always did, exactly when she needed support, but her eyes were still trailing her mother. All of a sudden, and out of absolutely nowhere, words came out of her mouth that she'd never even thought before. She wasn't really thinking them at all by that point, but they came out none-the-less.

"I love you."

For a fraction of a second, Rose thought she saw her mother pause in her stride, but even if she wasn't imagining it, it only lasted half a second. Ruth kept right on walking, and before long she was out of the store, with her daughter's gaze still fixated on the spot where she'd been standing moments ago.

She felt Jack's warm arms wrap around her waist and, trying very hard not to cry in public, she buried her head in his chest and breathed heavily. She was so happy with Jack and she would never choose anyone, particular not her mother, over him, but still… Ruth was her _mother_, after all, and knowing that she was gone forever left a gaping hole somewhere in her heart that she didn't know existed before that moment. As ignorant and disgusting and resentful as they could be, a mother was a mother, and mother was a synonym for so many things; caregiver, protector, security blanket, shield… When she was taken away, it revealed a sort of pain that you couldn't even comprehend.

Quietly, as though he was trying not to violate a shrine to the gods of pain and heartbreak, Jack whispered, "You are so brave Rose. You're so amazing and strong and wonderful. I wish I was as brave as you, Rose."

Raising her head from Jack's chest and looking him deep in the eye, she said the only thing that she'd been thinking over the whole ordeal, and the only thing that really mattered.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jack. Not without you, anyway."


	17. In Over My Head

**Hey, guys! Sorry for the delay but I've been really busy with school…meh…**

**I just want to tell you all that I'm still so thankful for the reviews. I mean, 83… that's a lot' more than I'd ever imagined. You're all amazing. And, because of that amazingness, I feel like I should warn you that you might not necessarily love this chapter because Jack isn't exactly in it. So read if you will, or don't if you won't. I still think it's pretty well-written and some important stuff happens, but I know how you all love Jack. :P**

**Oh, by the way, I wrote the end of this while watching the movie (I didn't plan it that way or even think about it; I realized it a half hour later as I was typing Rose at the same time Cal was saying it) and it sort of made it a lot easier… I might try doing that from now on.**

**Well, on with the chapter!**

Chapter Seventeen

Fiore Towers Apartment Building

#39 West 45th Street

After their chance encounter with her mother, Rose wasn't really in the mood to talk for the rest of the night. She didn't understand how a parent could just turn their back on a child, especially one in need. Oh, she wasn't stupid. Rose knew Ruth didn't care about her or even like her very much, but she'd always hoped that deep down, she loved her, as all mothers should. Apparently, she had been wrong.

Jack could sense that Rose was in a bad mood, and he knew better than to talk to her about it. Instead, he went to sleep almost as soon as they got home, because he had to go to work that night. That left Rose completely alone, but she didn't mind. She curled up on the couch and read for hours, trying not to think about the day's events. She was so emotionally exhausted that by the time nine o'clock rolled around and Jack had to leave, there was nothing much else for her to do but go to bed.

The next morning, she woke up feeling sick and, for the fifth day in a row, made a beeline to the bathroom. Rose had always noticed that the strangest thoughts occur to us while we're bent over a toilet, puking our guts out, and as she did just that, she realized that today was a Monday. Which meant she had to go to school. How lovely. In all truthfulness, she had half a mind to just skip out today, but in that case the school would call her mother and then everything would fall apart. No, she had to keep up this facade of normalcy for as long as possible. No one could know was pregnant, and no one could know that she was no longer living at home. It all had to be a secret- for now, anyway.

Rose was just walking out of the bathroom when she heard the click of the latch and saw Jack walk into the kitchen. Just seeing him made her feel a little bit better… but just a_ little_ bit.

"Good morning, Rose," he said, wrapping his arms around her. Then, placing his hands gently on her stomach, he said, "And good morning baby." Rose giggled at that, making a mental note that she should probably start doing the same thing. Jack was probably going to be way better at this parenting thing she was, but she would try her best anyway.

Kissing him softly, she replied, "Good morning to you, too, Jack. How was work?" The words felt funny coming out of her mouth, as though she was not nearly grown-up enough to be saying them. Those were words that belonged to the adult world, and despite the fact that she was pregnant, Rose was acutely aware that she was not yet a part of that world. Just the fact that she had to be at school in an hour was proof enough of that.

Jack hung his coat up in the closet and said, "It was good. Nights are pretty dull," he explained. "It's not like museum robberies happen every night, you know. But it's cool. Usually I just hang and walk around and stuff, unless Mr. Cartmell leaves something specific for me to do."

Rose decided that some night soon, she would have to hang out with Jack at Mr. Cartmell's gallery. She'd been absolutely captivated by it the time she'd visited it with her mother and Cal, but she'd also been really angry that day. It would be so much better with Jack, just like everything else.

"What are you up to today, sweetheart?" Jack asked, sitting down at the table and gesturing for Rose to do the same. She couldn't help but laugh- clearly he, too, had forgotten in the chaos of late that Rose was still in school.

Curious to see how long it would take him to catch on, she said, "It's Monday." Jack said nothing but raised his eyebrows and made a motion with his head that told her he no idea what Rose was suggesting. "Well," she prodded, "it's Monday and it's seven in the morning and I'm seventeen… Jack! I have to go to school!"

A quizzical look passed over Jack's face, followed by one of sudden enlightenment. "Yeah," he said slowly. "Yeah, I guess you do. Well, do you want breakfast now, in that case?"

Just the thought of food made Rose's stomach turn over, and it was all she could do not to gag. Still, she couldn't help but smile at the fact that Jack so readily took care of her without even a second thought.

"I guess I should eat…" she muttered, absent-mindedly resting her hand on her abdomen. "But I'll just have toast. I can get it."

She started to rise from her chair and head towards, the fridge, but Jack laid his hand over hers to stop her.

"It's okay Rose, I'll get it. Don't worry."

It was a simply, almost meaningless gesture- making toast for somebody. But at the same time, it showed Rose that Jack cared about her. He could never really understand how her mother made her feel or how upset she was this morning, but just a little gesture like letting her sit down while he put two pieces of bread in a toaster for her was enough to let her know that at least one person in this world gave a damn about her. It struck Rose as funny that the little things were meaning so much to her lately, but then that was a good thing, wasn't it? That was one of the things parents were supposed to teach their children, wasn't it?

Jack made some toast for himself too, and he and Rose sat down together and talked about how his night had gone. Rose learned just what Jack's job was- he was supposed to be part night custodian, part security guard, but unless some kid threw up just before closing, he was pretty much done working after an hour. That left Jack pretty much free to do whatever he wanted for about eight hours, which suited him down to the ground. In Rose's opinion, that seemed like an excellent way to make almost a hundred dollars a day.

Afterwards, she had a shower and got dressed in her school uniform. By ten to eight she was ready to walk out the door. She gathered all her school books and put on a coat, then kissed Jack goodbye and the door of his apartment building. Just as she turned to leave, she called her name from the doorway. She spun around to see what he wanted.

"Hey Rose," he said, a cute little smile fixed upon his face, "make it count."

"Love you, Jack!" she called over her shoulder as she climbed into the elevator. It reminded her of something her dad used to do, back when he was alive…

When Rose was very young, her father would ride to school in a taxi with her, and every time it pulled up in front of York Prep, he would kiss her on the cheek and tell her to make good choices. When she was seven, it had never really meant anything at all to her. It wasn't until her dad was long gone that she realized the impact his words had had on her. She must have heard him tell her to make good choices a thousand times over the course of her school days, but she never really thought about how strongly it resonated with her in everything she did. When she was tempted to do bad things, as all teenagers were, she just had to ask herself it her father would thought she was making a good choice. Even though he couldn't be physically with her anymore, Rose felt her father's presence every time she made a decision. Now Jack was doing the same thing- making sure the girl he loved did what was best for her. God, she loved him so much.

Outside, Rose got into a taxi that took her all twenty-three blocks from their apartment building to York Preparatory School, and through the whole ride it never occurred to her just how unprepared she would be to face even a tiny sliver of her old world. When she stepped out of the car to face the imposing old building that she'd almost forgotten existed, she suddenly felt overwhelmed and almost useless. What was the point of even being her? What did she have to gain?

Taking a deep breath, Rose hiked her bag a little bit higher on her shoulder and forced herself to take one step, then two. She never would have imagined this being so hard, and she didn't know why it was. All she knew was that she no longer belonged here. Before long, everybody was going to know she was pregnant and the same thing would happen to her as happened to every teenager who gets pregnant. She'd drop out of school because there'd be nothing else for her to do, and what a shame it would be, this close to the end. This close to a future.

Rose's locker was on the opposite side of the school from the main entrance, but Mekyla was sure to be waiting for her just inside, as she always was. Oh, God, Mekyla. What was she going to tell her? Never in the thirteen years that the pair had known each other had they ever once kept a secret from the other one. It would only take her an instant to realize something was wrong with her friend. Knowing Mekyla would be waiting for her at her locker, Rose tried to formulate a really good lie, but she couldn't think of one.

Rose had always found it interesting that in moments of deep thought, a thousand words in the form of a hundred different ideas could come into your head and work themselves out in less than a second. No sooner had she realized her friend would be waiting for and that she was incapable of lying about it than she decided to just tell the truth. She'd known Mekyla since she was five, and she'd told her a little bit about Jack. She hadn't told her about the night they'd slept together, or even that they'd kissed, but Mekyla wasn't stupid. She'd probably figured it out by now anyways. This wasn't going to be a big deal, was it? Even if everybody else did, Mekyla would never judge Rose.

Just as Rose had expected, her raven-haired friend was leaning up against her locker, waiting. To her surprise, however, she wore an unnaturally huge smile and looked as though she was bursting to tell somebody something.

"Hey, Mekyla," Rose said, bracing herself to be maniacally hugged.

"Oh my God, Rose, guess what we're getting today in second?" Mekyla exclaimed, nearly bouncing off the walls.

Turning the dial on her lock, Rose asked, "What?" just before she realized what her friend was talking about. Homecoming tickets. They were getting their tickets to the homecoming dance today. Could she even go to that now? Was it safe to be up dancing all night when you were pregnant? Why did this have to make everything so much more difficult? Suddenly, Rose felt like crying all over again.

"Homecoming tickets!" Mekyla exclaimed, echoing Rose's thoughts. She began to ramble on, just as Rose would have done but a week ago, except right now it was all going in one ear and out the other. "Have you decided what you're wearing yet, Rose? Or about your hair? Because I was thinking, since your apartment is so much bigger than mine, we could get ready there. And do you think Natasha and Sarah will want to come with us? Oh, and we're going to the actual game together, right?..."

It was like it went on and on forever… the stupid, senseless, pointless crap teenage girls wasted all of their time on. Didn't they know that there were so many more important things to worry about? Things that mattered so much more and hurt so much more and made so much more of a difference? Something that resembled the way she'd felt towards her mother in the drug store bubbled up inside of Rose until she just couldn't take it anymore. She said the first thing that came to her mind.

"We can't go to my apartment because I'm not living there anymore."

There. She'd said it. Everything was about to unravel, and to top it off Rose was pretty sure she was going to throw up again, but the feeling had nothing to do with pregnancy.

Mekyla formed an O shape with her mouth, looking shocked and confused. _You have no idea,_ Rose thought. Without a word, she grabbed her friend's hand and dragged her into the girl's bathroom. It was early yet and hopefully it wouldn't be quite as crowded as it was bound to be ten minutes from now. Trying to get her wits about her, Rose leaned up against the sink and took a deep breath. She opened her mouth, but know words came out. She bit her lip, paused and tried again, but it was to no avail.

Still gently holding onto Rose's hand, Mekyla whispered, "What happened? Rose, tell me what's wrong! You have to tell me."

Rose hadn't realized that tears were flowing freely from her eyes until they reached her lips and she could taste their saltiness. Her stomach was all tied up in knots and she felt as though her heart was about to leap out of her chest and dance around the bathroom floor at any minute. How did she say this? Where would she start? The way she was feeling at that moment was exactly how she had felt when she told Jack. The logical part of her brain trusted Mekyla more than anyone else in the world besides Jack, but there was something nagging in the back of her mind that made her wonder why any good girl like her would want to be seen with a pregnant teen.

Then, just like it had with Jack, the words she'd been searching for came flowing out before she even realized it.

"I'm pregnant and I had to run away and now I'm living with Jack."

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Rose was faintly aware of her head resting on her friend's shoulder and of a pair of thin hands seemingly holding her up. Why was this so hard? Wasn't she supposed to be happy? She and Jack had been so happy about it yesterday, so why was it different once she was back in the outside world?

"So then it's not Cal?" Mekyla whispered, sounding almost happy.

Lifting her head and wiping her eyes, Rose shook her head. "Thank God. But that's why I had to run away. You remember Jack, right?"

Mekyla nodded, her hands still resting on Rose's shoulders. "That hot guy that you talked to at lunch a few weeks ago. Like I'd forget him!"

Rose laughed at loud, tears still falling fast from her eyes but at least she was smiling now. "Yeah, him," she said, joking on her words. "He's… he's the father. Oh, God, Mekyla, what have I done?"

"You haven't done anything wrong, Rose," Mekyla assured her. "You love Jack. And don't say a word because I know you. I know you wouldn't ever do anything like that unless you loved the guy, and don't you worry about it because he loves you, too. And I love you. So don't worry."

Rose had been best friends with Mekyla since she was five years old, and never once had they not been there for each other. When Mekyla's grandmother died in the third grade, Rose had slept over at her house for three days in a row, and six years later, when it was Rose's turn, her friend had returned the favour. They'd faced the ups and downs of childhood, adolescence and the teen years together, so what was the difference now?

At that moment, looking into her best friend's eyes, Rose realized that all her life she'd wondered what it truly meant to be a good person, when all along, she already knew. When she met Jack, he'd opened her eyes to a whole new world… one where people loved each other and cared about each other and helped each other out for no reason other than it was just what people did. It was so different from the world she grew up in that Rose had credited Jack with teaching her what love was. Really, that wasn't exactly true. Jack had taught her how to love like he did, but she'd known what it was all along. It was being there for someone, and knowing that they'd always be there for you. And just that knowledge was enough to get through anything else anybody through at you.

Not knowing what to say to her friend, Rose whispered, "Thanks."

"No problem," Mekyla replied. "So, are you and Jack and baby all coming to homecoming or what?" she asked, leading Rose out of the bathroom and back into the crowded hallways of York Prep.

Rose was really glad that Mekyla didn't want to as her anything about her mom or Cal, and seemed to be avoiding the whole thing about moving out. She'd talk about it later, maybe at lunch, but right now she really didn't feel up to it.

Shrugging her shoulders, Rose said, "I don't know if I can or not. I mean, I have no idea about being… well, you know," she explained, lowering her voice so that no one would hear, "and I don't know if I can be out all night or not. I suppose we could probably go for a bit, but I'd definitely have to wear flats and we'd have to leave if things started to get out of hand."

In her mind that sounded okay to Rose, but she had forgotten completely about homecoming and obviously hadn't mentioned it to Jack. She really had no idea whether or not it would be a good idea, or if they were even allowed to bring guests, but she would find out sometime today. Rose had realized in the bathroom that this was something she was going to have to live with, but that didn't mean she had to cease living. She was determined to make a conscientious effort to go on living a normal life.

"That sounds alright," Mekyla said, looking as though she was really thinking hard about this. Just then, however, the bell that told them they had ten minutes to get to class rang, and Mekyla had to bolt up two flights of stairs to get her books. Rose walked the other way towards her locker, trying to block all of the bad thoughts swimming around her head.

With two sets of books in tow, she made her way up to the second level for her first period class, anthropology. Rose liked it as a subject, but the teacher was really boring and under normal circumstances it was hard to stay awake. Now, with all of her wacked-out pregnancy hormones kicking in, she had to pick her head up from the desk several times. Within twenty minutes, Rose found herself wishing the day was already over. The past weekend that she'd spent with Jack had made her realize how much she really enjoyed being with him and how much she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. On top of that, school was so damn boring on its own that she felt she couldn't stand another second of it when first period finally ended.

Before lunch, Rose had English with a man named Mr. Lesperance, who also happened to be the junior girls' volleyball coach. Rose had played on his team for two years, and he because he just about as close a teacher could get with his students with all of his players, he was very protective of them and looked out for them throughout all their years at York Prep. He probably knew her better than anyone at school besides her best friends, and Rose was nervous about facing him. Not that he would know or anything… but still. What if she did something wrong? What if something just… slipped out that ended up giving it all away? And he, like everyone else, was bound to find out eventually. Just the thought of how disappointed he would be in her broke her heart.

Lesperance was the cool teacher; the one who all of the guys wanted to be. The girls were a different story, though. You know that teacher that every girl has at one point in their life; the one who in a weird way you wanted to punch in the face, but in an even weirder way you wanted to make out with? And then, at the same time, you wanted to be just like him when you grew up? That was Mr. Lesperance. In the ninth grade, she and Mekyla had his class in fourth period, after French. The applied level French class was after theirs, and the teacher always wrote their work on the board in the last few minutes of third period. Apparently that afternoon they were going to be learning how to make accents on an English keyboard. Rose and Mekyla had been laughing to each other about it, and Rose had made some sort of rude comment about how she 'knows they're stupid, but come on…'

At that point, Mr. Lesperance had walked up behind them and asked rhetorically, "Who's stupid? Boys? I thought so!"

Ever since then, Rose had felt a strange affinity with Mr. Lesperance. That was the year her dad had died; in fact, it was only about five months after his passing. She'd been stuck with just her mother, or in other words, with no one in the world who cared about her. Rose had known all along that it was weird to really care what a teacher thought about you, but in a way it was like he was the only adult who cared whether she lived or died. In that way he had become important to her; so important, in fact, that she was more afraid of disappointing him than her own mother.

As she stepped into his classroom, Rose swallowed her pride and sat down at her desk. The classroom was almost full already, but Mr. Lesperance made sure to say hi to her as she walked in. Rose returned the sentiment, hoping she didn't sound nervous or something. Her eyes inadvertently drifted towards her stomach and she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. She hurried to sit down and buried herself in Macbeth, hoping she looked very busy and that no one would want to disturb her.

The bell that signalled the start of class rang, and the last few students trickled inside and into their seats. Mr. Lesperance began handing back essays, and Rose barely looked up from her feet as he placed hers on her desk and said, "Excellent work, Miss DeWitt Bukater."

Rose said nothing, but inside she was reeling. She wanted to get up and scream to the world, _'That is not my name!'_ She didn't really blame her teacher; obviously he didn't know anybody. She was just sick and tired of carrying that moniker around; she was tired of what it stood for. But none of that mattered, right? She had to forget all of that now; to go on living with her head held high, no matter what.

For the rest of the class, Rose kept her eyes fixated on the chalkboard, just a little bit to the left of Mr. Lesperance's shoulder, which she'd learned over the years was the perfect place to look if you didn't want the teacher to talk to you. They thought you were looking at them, so they didn't need you to prove you were paying attention or anything, but at the same time you weren't staring right at them. If you did that, they sometimes thought you had a question. For seventy-six minutes, Rose half-listened as the class discussed what Shakespeare was trying to say about the relationship between sexuality and cruelty.

Rose couldn't focus. She felt paranoid; as though everyone was looking at her… as though they _knew_. They couldn't, and she knew they couldn't, but still. If this was how the next three months were going to go, Rose didn't think she could stand it. Oh, and imagine when she started showing, and people did know! For some reason, Rose's thoughts drifted towards the movie Juno, the one with the pregnant sixteen-year-old. She hoped to God it wouldn't be like that for her; people parting as she walked through the hallways just to get a good look at the scarlet letter than walked among them.

_Don't think like that,_ she told herself._ You can't think like that. Everything's going to be okay._

After what felt like years, the lunch bell rang and Rose leapt from her seat as fast as she could, gathering her books so quickly that she almost dropped them all over the floor. She was almost out the door when a voice from behind her said, "Rose, could I speak to you for a moment please?"

Oh, God. Oh God oh God oh God. She was in trouble now. He had to know. Either he knew or she was in some sort of deep trouble, which would be just as bad because the moment he tried to contact her mother, this would all come crashing down, just like it almost had yesterday. She and Jack had worked so hard to get this far, and she couldn't through it away. Rose knew that she was going to have to think on her feet and answer any question he might ask as quickly as possible. She had to make this work.

"Yes, sir?" she asked, turning around slowly and trying to fake a smile. "What's up?"

"Sit down, Rose," Mr. Lesperance said, gesturing to the desk in front of him. Rose knew he meant for her to sit in the desk, but so parked herself on it instead, which was really no problem for her because by now she could pretty much get away with anything from Mr. Lesperance. "How've you been lately?"

Rose shrugged, pretending she didn't know what he was getting at. "Okay, you know. I mean, you see me pretty much every day." That sounded normal enough, right? Not too on-edge?

Her English teacher nodded and laughed. "I suppose you're right, Rose. So, have you applied to any universities yet?"

Oh, Lord. Damn. He had to know. Rose could have gotten accepted early admission to almost any school in the country, and everyone knew it. On top of that, almost everyone knew that she'd planned on doing exactly that ever since ninth grade. The fact that she had applied to a single place yet was just too weird, and Mr. Lesperance was a smart enough man to realize it.

Shrugging again, Rose explained, "Most of the application deadlines are the last week of November." There was conviction in her voice, but the way she cradled on arm in the other and stared at her feet spoke volumes, each one of them a lie. She was done. He was going to call her mother and then she was going to take her home and make her marry Cal and get… get an… oh, God, she couldn't even think the word. All she knew was that she was absolutely screwed.

Folding his arms over his chest, Mr. Lesperance stared her down – God, she hated it when he did that – and rolled his eyes. "Rose, you and I both know that with your grades you could have been accepted to Berkeley by now. What's up, Rose?" Silence… she couldn't even think of a good lie…

"Rose… Tell. Me."

She didn't have to deal with this. He was being exactly like her mother. For God's sake, he was just her teacher! He had no business getting involved in her life. Was it really his problem if she wasn't on early admission at Berkeley? Who gave a damn about Berkeley? There were more important things in the world! Rose got up from her seat on the desk and gathered her things, speaking as she moved.

"I just… I decided that I have other things I want to focus. I was thinking I meant send out some applications in the beginning of next week, but right now I have a lot on my mind and I'm really sorry, sir, but I have to be going."

Again, she made it half way out the door before hearing her name made her stop in her tracks. Slowly, hoping to convey the wide array of emotions she was feeling just by her glare, Rose turned on her heel and looked him in the eye.

"Look," he said, no longer sounding angry but rather gentle and caring. Maybe he didn't know, but he wanted to. Maybe he just genuinely cared about her. Even after knowing and being loved by Jack for almost a month, it was still hard for Rose to accept people actually giving a damn about her because it was such a new feeling. Instantly, she regretted the way she had behaved. "I don't know what's wrong with you, Rose. I wish I did, but if you don't tell me I guess I'm just going to have to sit here and wait. But you and I both know – we've both known since you were in the ninth grade – that you've got a future, and whatever your reason is for throwing it out the window, I hope you know it's not a good one. I hope I don't sound too judgemental, Rose, because like I said I don't know what's going on, but please. You have worked too hard to just walk away. Okay?"

He was right. He was exactly right. Jack's words from yesterday afternoon all of a sudden came flooding back. _You're brilliant, and you could go to university or travel the world or do whatever you want…_ That didn't necessarily mean she was going to, and it didn't even mean she wanted to anymore. But it did mean she was going to think about it, really long and hard. After all, it would be what was best in the long run, wouldn't it? So that she could support their family, as strange of a family it might be?

Not really knowing how to express that, Rose simply said, "Okay sir. And thank you, by the way."

"Any time," Mr. Lesperance said, smiling at her the same way he'd done that day in the ninth grade when he'd warned her about boys. In a way, he'd been right. They could really mess you up. Laughing to herself, Rose closed the door behind her and bolted down the stairs, thinking of nothing besides the end of the day that was still three hours away.

When she got home, she was going to have to have a real long conversation with Jack about what they were doing. She hadn't realized until today that just how clueless and lost they were in this whole thing. In a way, it was disheartening to know that she was so in over her head, but it was okay. She was going to take care of it. She was going to make it right. They were going to be okay.

**Soooo…? What did everybody think? I know that pretty much nothing happened in this chapter but I had to find a way to pull Mekyla into this and so I thought, 'What the heck? Let's just go for it.' Hopefully it worked out alright.**


	18. Everything

_Now I'm sitting here before the fire_  
_The empty room, the forest choir_  
_The flames that could not get any higher_  
_They've withered now they've gone_

Chapter Eighteen

Fiore Towers Apartment Building

#39 West 45th Street

Rose tried to keep a smile on her face for the rest of the day, and slowly began to allow the paranoia to slip away. She kept her head low throughout her classes and especially as she rode the subway home, but as the hours passed she felt more and more comfortable being back in her old world. Obviously no one could possibly know, and even if they did, it wasn't any of their business and if they had a problem with it, well that was there problem.

When she got home, Rose was careful to open the door and lay her things down quietly, because she knew Jack would probably still be asleep. So, needless to say, she was surprised to hear his familiar voice in the next room. He must be on the phone with someone, she thought. Probably Fabrizio. Interested in what they were saying, Rose silently made her way across the kitchen and leaned against the door frame behind Jack. He was sitting in an armchair that faced the window, so he couldn't see Rose from where he sat. Rose knew it was silly and something she was going to have to give up soon, but she'd always loved eavesdropping into people's phone conversations. Although, she thought, it would probably become useful when their child got a little bit older.

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds great," she heard Jack say into the phone. "I'm sure Rose would love to meet her… Definitely… Alright, see you then. Bye, Fabri."

Rose smiled, guessing that tonight she might get to meet Fabrizio's girlfriend Helga. She was a little bit confused, though, because Jack had to work after all. In fact, she really wondered what was possibly so urgent that he was already awake. He was going to be dead later on that night. She laughed quietly, because that was such a thing that he would do. He wanted Rose to meet his friends because that would make her happy, and that was all that mattered. God, he was adorable.

"Hey, Jack," Rose said, pretending not to have heard the conversation. "What are you doing out of bed?"

Getting up from his chair and hugging Rose tightly, Jack said, "I was thinking that you and I both really need a break, so I called Mr. Cartmell and asked him for the night off. He said that was fine, so I called Fabri and asked if he and Helga just wanted to come over and hang around with us- maybe watch a movie or something. Sound cool?" he asked, kissing her on the cheek.

"Sounds wonderful," she replied, thinking how Jack never ceased to amaze her when it came to putting her first. But he so right; Rose wasn't sure about Jack, but she definitely needed a break, especially now when she had so much to talk over with him. She grabbed him by the hand and lead him towards the couch, feeling a little bit nervous. She knew well enough by now that Jack would support her in everything she pursued, that nagging voice of her mother, of Cal, of everyone else from her old world, still persisted in the of her mind, telling her that she would never amount to anything. That she couldn't do it. That it everything was impossible.

Sitting down and looking at Rose intently, Jack said, "What's up, hun?"

For a moment, Rose searched her mind for a round-about way to bring up the topic of university, but when she could find one, she just came right out and said it. "I was thinking about this today at school," she explained slowly, "and I realized that there's no reason why I couldn't go to university, if we somehow found the money." Rose considered stopping for a second, but decided that it would be best if she said her entire piece all at once. "I already have a massive college fund that I can access without asking my mother, and it would almost be enough. I was thinking that I could get some sort of part-time job to cover the rest, which really wouldn't be too much. I want to study art," she added as an afterthought.

Jack seemed to be really contemplating what Rose had said. She wondered what he was thinking. Did he think it was a good idea? A bad one? Impossible, perhaps? After what seemed like far too long a time to be thinking about a simple statement, Rose felt the need to justify herself further.

"I know I have an inheritance and everything, but hopefully I won't be getting that for a long time. We need to find a way to support our family… our baby," she said, sounding almost as though she was begging. For the hundredth time in the last few days, Rose's hands drifted towards her stomach. To her surprise, Jack placed his hand over hers and smiled.

"I really do think it's a great idea," he said, lacing his fingers through hers. "You're absolutely right, we need the money. My only problem-" he explained with a laugh, "and don't take this offensively – is that I have no idea what kind of job you'd get!"

For a moment, even though she tried not to be, Rose had to admit she was slightly offended. The feeling lasted only a second, though, because she couldn't stay serious when Jack was sitting across from her, smiling like an idiot. He was right, after all. Rose had absolutely no working experience, and practically no clue how to do anything they could possibly pay a teenager for- cooking, cleaning, serving people. Slowly, an equally stupid grin spread across her own face, and before she knew it, Rose was laughing like a maniac. Why is it that the truest, most pathetic things are always the funniest?

"I've got to admit, Jack," she said, struggling to breathe through the laughter, "you have a point there. But I'm sure there's something I could do. I can wash dishes! Restaurants always need dishwashers."

As Jack considered what Rose had said, she herself realized that she being very presumptuous. Any twelve-year-old could wash dishes; she had no previous work experience and would probably luck out for a long time. That didn't matter though- they had to make this all work for the sake of their child. She had to at least try. Since Rose had learned that she was pregnant, she hadn't really thought about how important making money would be until today. All you ever hear about with teen moms is dropping out of school, or at least not attending post secondary, so she'd resigned herself to doing just that without even thinking about it. However, it had been made very obvious to her this morning that they couldn't live like this, especially when it was possible for her to be so much more.

Resting her hand, on Jack's forearm, Rose looked him in the eye and said, "I know I'm probably not being very realistic right now, but we have to try." She paused and glanced around the room. It killed her to admit it, but what she saw was not promising at all- a living room that held a beaten up couch and armchair that was basically in the same room as the pathetic excuse for a kitchen. There were two doors- one for a bathroom, wherein the plumbing was less than satisfactory, and one that opened to reveal a ratty mattress on an old bed frame that was trying desperately hard to convince itself it was a bedroom. They could not keep a child here.

"Jack, please don't take this the wrong way, because I would sleep in a mine field if it meant I was with you, but you and I both know that this is no place for a baby. She wouldn't have any place to sleep." That simple declaration didn't mean much- in all reality a baby could sleep with their parents; that was the least of the couple's problems. There was an absolute desperateness in her voice, though. As she said that, tears stung the back of Rose's eyes, and for the first time she understood, if only slightly, the infinite love and fierce protectiveness that a mother feels for her child- a love that is beyond the bounds of space and time. She would have gone to Hell and back to give her baby a good life.

Sighing and leaning back on the couch, Jack replied, "You're right, Rose. You're absolutely right."

Rose didn't say anything after that- there was nothing to say, really. She was going to have to write up a pathetic excuse for a resume at some point soon, and maybe she could get a character reference from someone. It would be just about her only shot.

"You know Jack," she said, after some thought, "I know you're busy now with work, but I think you should keep selling your sketches. They're really good and it's not like you've got anything to lose."

"That's true, Rose, and it's probably a good idea, but I want you to stop stressing out right now, okay?" he said, situating himself on the couch so that he was sitting cross-legged and able to reach over Rose's shoulders and rub her back. "It won't matter what we do if you don't take care of yourself. You've gotta relax, hun."

Rose giggled slightly and leaned back into Jack's embrace. He dug deeper into her shoulder blades with his warm, worn hands. She hadn't realized until now just as how stressed she had been lately, but as she allowed Jack to massage all the knots out of her back, she felt it all melt away.

"That feels so good," she smiled, resting her hands on her still flat stomach. In one way, it was hard to believe that there was a living, breathing person inside there, because she couldn't see it or feel it, but in another, it was as though the baby had been there all along- Rose already loved him or her that much. She felt Jack's hands slowly slide down from her back and wrap around her waist, finally stopping on top her own hands.

With that crooked little smile that Rose loved so much, Jack said, "It's so hard to believe my baby's in there." Then, apparently no longer speaking to Rose, he continued, "Hi, baby. I'm your daddy. I don't know if you can hear me, but I love you so much and I want you to know that me and your mommy are gonna take really good care of you. I don't know what it's like in there but I bet it's really dark and boring, but don't worry about it. You'll be out here soon enough, and we can't wait."

As he spoke, Rose couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face. She made no sound, nor did she move, but she cried silent tears- in part tears of happiness, for how much she loved Jack and their baby, but also worried tears, for fear that they wouldn't be able to take care of their baby. Even though she was crying, Rose was surprised to feel a droplet of water land on her arm, because she didn't think it was hers. She turned around slightly to look at Jack who, to her great surprise, was also crying silently. The sight pulled at her heartstrings, making cry even more. Gently, she placed a kiss on his cheek and wiped away his tears.

"I love you, Jack," she whispered.

Leaning back in his arms, Rose suddenly remembered about homecoming. Now seemed like a good time to bring it up, before Fabri and Helga arrived. Despite everything that was going on, Rose was really excited for it, and she hoped that Jack would be, too. According to him, he'd dropped out of school when he was fifteen- he would have only got the chance to go to one or two of the big high school dances, and Rose felt a little bit bad for him missing out on so much.

"Hey, Jack," she began, sitting up a little bit straighter, "I was just wondering… my homecoming is coming up in about two weeks, and if I don't go with you I'll be taking Mekyla as my date. So do you want to go?"

To Rose's surprise, Jack shuffled in his seat and stared at the ground, not answering her question at first. He stared out the window for a moment, then took a deep breath and said, "I don't exactly have the best memories from homecoming. But of course I'll go with you, I'm sure it'll be fun." He nodded, as though to reassure himself, and then pulled his gaze away from Rose's. Although they'd only had eye contact for about five seconds, Rose had seen something in his dazzling blue orbs that she did not recognize- a sort of hurt and loneliness that she never would have placed with Jack. It almost reminded her of the way she had felt when she was stuck with her mother and Cal, and that worried her.

Placing her hand on his arm, she asked, "Jack? Jack, what's the matter? We don't have to go if you don't want to… Jack, tell me what's wrong!"

Jack shook his head solemnly and rubbed his hands together, not looking her in the eyes. "It's nothing. I told you I'll go, alright? Don't worry."

Rose wasn't satisfied with his response at all, but she didn't want to pester Jack, especially if he didn't want to talk about it. She didn't understand how someone could have such awful memories of homecoming- the worst she could imagine happening was getting absolutely plastered and waking up to find that you did something you regret. She could have been wrong, and she was learning very rapidly that you never really know what's going on with people, but that didn't seem all too terrible. Rose and Jack sat in silence for a little while, neither of them knowing how to cut through the awkward tension that had settled on the couch between them, as though it belonged there just as much as they did. After a few minutes, Jack spoke up, but on a totally different subject.

"While I was talking to Mr. Cartmell today," he began, "he told me that Cora was asking about you. She wants to see you, you know."

Rose laughed out loud at that. It completely shocked her that Cora would have mentioned her name and not Jack. "Me and not you? That seems unlikely!"

"You're funny, Rose," Jack said sarcastically, rolling his eyes but laughing nonetheless. "Anyways, he was wondering if you could babysit her next Saturday night. He says he'll pay you, if you want, but Cora just really wants to see you."

"He doesn't need to pay me," she said. "I'd love to do it." Rose had always loved little kids, and even though she had a couple of younger cousins in New Hampshire, she only got to see them at Christmas because their parents were authors, and her mother frowned upon any sort of artistic job.

Chuckling slightly, Jack replied, "That's what I said, but Mr. Cartmell insisted. So you're game?" Rose nodded. "Great. Then I'll tell him tomorrow night. Do you want anything to eat?" he asked.

Rose shook her head, but Jack insisted that he was getting up to get some water anyways, so a few minutes later, Rose was sitting on the couch with a glass of water in one hand and an apple the other, laughing slightly. She ate it obligingly, and it was absolutely glorious to have food sitting in her stomach and not bolting to the bathroom. After resting her glass on the carpet beside the couch, Rose curled up in the crook of Jack's arm and rested her head on his chest. She loved being with him so much she couldn't even describe it. If it was possible, she loved him even more now that they were living together and taking care of a child together. Thinking of the baby growing inside of her womb, she suddenly remembered something.

Sighing, Rose declared, "I have my first doctor's appointment tomorrow morning." She was not particularly looking forward to this appointment, because although she got to miss first period and most of second, it also meant that she had to find a way to get out of class without getting a detention. She knew, of course, how this had to be done, and she had absolutely no desire to do it.

"That's so cool!" Jack exclaimed, evidently not having picked up on her negative tone. "Do you know if they're gonna do an ultrasound yet?"

Rose shook her head, imagining how amazing it would be to see their child for the first time. The prospect of seeing its tiny heart beat, even on a screen and in black and white, filled her with joy. "I don't know, to be honest, but probably not. That's not the problem though. I'm going to have to call the attendance office and pretend I'm my mother if I don't want to get a detention."

Jack cocked one eyebrow at her quizzically and said, "That's stupid. Why do they care?"

Rose just shrugged. She didn't have an even halfway decent response- she'd asked herself that question so many times in the last for years that she had learned to live with it by now. This time was different though- she'd have to put on her mother's posh, uptight voice, plus think of a really good excuse. She could just say she had a doctor's appointment, but the little paranoid voice at the back of her head told her that would be too fishy, and that there'd have to be a reason for her to be at the appointment. Convincing herself that she'd think of something by morning, Rose closed her eyes for a moment and willed all of the worry to wash away from her mind.

As she did that, the doorbell rang. Rose immediately jumped up to answer it, but Jack beat her to it. He opened the door to reveal Fabrizio standing in the hallway, with a short, pretty blonde on his arm.

"_Buonasera, mio amigo!" _Fabri exclaimed, hugging Jack and kissing Rose on both cheeks. Rose stepped out of the way to allow him and Helga to step inside. Jack took their jackets and draped them over a kitchen chair. "_Rosa_, this 'a is my girlfriend, Helga. Helga, this is Rose. Remember, I 'a told you about the one who was 'a living with Jack?"

Helga smiled and shook Rose's hand warmly. "It's nice to meet you," she said. Helga spoke perfect English, but it was dotted with faint hints of a Norwegian accent, which made Rose think that she must have immigrated to the States with her parents as a small child.

"You, too," Rose said with a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks," the woman replied, as she and Rose followed to guys into the living room.

So as not to make his guests feel awkward, Jack instantly slumped down on the floor against the couch, leaving room for everybody else either on the couch or the chair. Helga sat down on the couch and Rose offered a seat to Fabrizio, but he refused. She knew that the couch was much more comfortable, and she presumed that Fabri would want to sit down next to Helga, but the Italian insisted on giving the more comfortable spot to Rose.

Laughing, he began to say, "_Rosa,_ you 'a know you should be as relaxed as possible for the baby-" but he managed to cut himself off just a moment too late. In all honesty, Rose really didn't mind his girlfriend knowing about the pregnancy, but clearly Fabrizio thought it more important to keep this thing a secret than Rose herself. He turned bright red and began to apologize profusely, but Rose just laughed it off and insisted that it wasn't a big deal.

Helga nearly jumped out of her seat and smiled from ear to ear, much as Mekyla had earlier this morning. Rose had noticed at an early age that women seemed to have a rehearsed reaction to another being pregnant, and she when she was really little she had wondered when it was going to be taught to her. When she was about twelve, though, Rose realized that, far from being rehearsed, the outbursts of joy were really one hundred percent natural reactions, because women just loved babies that much. Helga's reaction came as no surprise, and Rose merely smiled as she congratulated her.

"Fabri didn't tell me you two were having baby!" she exclaimed. "Congratulations, you guys! That's amazing news." Although the two women had just met, Helga wrapped her arms around Rose's waist and hugged her tightly.

Smiling just as widely as the other woman, Rose said, "Thank you, Helga. We're so excited."

"Oh, well of course you are!" she replied. "I'm so happy for you!"

While the two women hugged and squealed just a little bit more, Jack and Fabri stared at them shaking their heads, completely puzzled by women in general. Jack understand how Rose was feeling of course- more excited, more proud, more anxious and, above all, happier than he'd ever been in his life – but the hugging and squealing was something he never had and never would understand. A little bit like chocolate and shoes, actually. _Women… can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em_, he thought.

Laughing quietly to himself, Jack asked, "Alright, guys, are we going to sit here hugging each other all day or are we going to watch a movie?"

The two women finally let go of each other's embrace, and Jack saw something in Rose's eyes that he's never noticed before; a sort of maturity and wisdom that usually belonged to women twice her age. He thought about the way he'd perceived her the first time they met on the Brooklyn Bridge- as a teenager. A scared, confused, teenager whose eyes were full of wonder, awe and indescribable pain. It had been less than a month since then, but Rose was so very different. Well, maybe that wasn't true. Maybe she had been this person- this grown up woman ready to take on the world- the entire time, but she never had the chance to let it shine through.

"Alright, if you insist," Rose said with a laugh, sitting down on the couch. Then, as though she had received a divine revelation, she nearly jumped back up again and exclaimed, "You guys know what we should watch? The Notebook!"

"Oh, I love that movie!" Helga replied. "Do you guys have it?"

Jack laughed out loud and crossed his hands over his chest. He said, "Even if I owned that stupid movie, which I don't, we wouldn't be watching it. I own exactly three movies, two of which I'm pretty sure you ladies don't want to watch- The Hangover, Year One and Remember the Titans."

As he said that, Rose remembered that, although Jack had a television and DVD player, they didn't have cable or satellite. A few short weeks ago, she would have felt a little bit awkward about that- not embarrassed, because she really couldn't care less, but as though she wouldn't really know what to say or do after such a comment. It was different now, though. Rose no longer associated herself with wealth or money or importance, and in fact she almost never even thought about the dramatic differences between the home she'd shared with her mother and the one she shared with Jack.

"I'm pretty sure you're right Jack," Helga said, but Jack didn't need confirmation. He laughed slightly as he jumped and grabbed a DVD case from the bottom of a tiny pile. Rose noticed that, while the two newer movies looked as though they may have been watched just a few weeks ago, the case that Remember the Titans looked as though it had a thin layer of dust over it, like it hadn't been watched in months, if not years.

As though he could read her mind, Jack said, "I haven't watched this movie in over a year, and just to let you girls know… don't make fun of me or anything, cause I know you two woulda done it if we watched The Notebook…" he stammered, beating around the bush, "I'm probably gonna cry. Don't make fun of me, okay?"

It was all Rose could do to stifle her laughter. She didn't really care, personally, especially because she was one of the biggest movie criers around, but it was almost impossible for her to picture Jack crying during a football movie. Sure, they were cute and heartwarming, but Rose didn't know a single soul who'd ever shed a tear for a football movie.

"I'll try, Jack," she said as he popped it into the player and sat down on the floor at Rose's feet, "but I'm not promising anything."

"Yeah, well," Jack replied cockily, "I might have to buy The Notebook, just for you, and then we'll see who's laughing!" He reached behind him and grabbed Rose's foot and tickled it while she wasn't paying attention, which caused her to shriek at the top of her lungs and then dissolve into a fit of giggles. She start to yell something that sounded like, 'I swear to God, Jack Dawson!,' but he shushed her before she got the chance to finish.

Rose could still feel where his grip had been on her ankle for a long time after he let go. Every time her skin touched his, it was as though a bright and crackling fire was lit inside her heart. Never before had she experienced such a connection with another person. It never ceased to amaze her that, whenever she and Jack were together, it was as though their movements were in synch with each other's. They never accidentally bumped into each other or got in each other's war or anything like that- it was as though each of them knew what the other was going to do at all times and subconsciously made sure not to disrupt it. So, it came as no surprise to either of them when, as the movie was just about ending, that Rose decided for some reason that she'd rather sit on the floor next to Jack then on the couch.

Just as she heard the little blonde girl from the movie declare, "People say it can't work, black and white. Well, here we make it work every day," she felt a tiny drop of water land on her shoulder. In a way, she could see how that bit might touch Jack in a way most people didn't understand- they always say that certain groups of people can't live together- black and white, gay and straight, rich and poor… But at the same time, she felt that maybe that wasn't all there was to it. After all, Jack had forewarned her and everybody else that he might cry, and Rose doubted that it had anything to do with her.

As the credits rolled, Jack stopped the movie and put it back in its case, still wiping tears from his eyes but laughing at himself at the same time.

"I do not 'a understand, _mio amigio_," Fabrizio said jokingly. "This is the same man who 'a comes out of The Passion of the Christ laughing, and here 'e is 'a crying at a movie about kids playing football!"

Jack gave some sort of sarcastic retort, but Rose missed it completely. All of a sudden, it was as though someone had gone into her mind and taken pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that she hadn't known were even from the same box and put them together. As soon of the words were out of the Italian's mouth, Rose was in another place entirely. She mindlessly said goodbye to Fabri and that she and Helga should get together sometime for coffee when she could drink it again, but it was as though things went directly out her mouth without first passing through her brain.

As soon as the door was shut behind their friends, Rose turned on Jack and said, "What is it?"

Jack, whose face was no completely dry, looked at her quizzically. "What is what? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't give me that!" she nearly yelled, flopping back down on the couch and massaging her temples lightly. She looked back up at him and said, "You used to play football, didn't you? When you were in school?"

Jack sat down in the arm chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, yeah, I did, okay? What does that have to do with anything?" He spoke as though he had no idea what she was talking about, but there was something in his tone and his movements that told Rose otherwise.

Trying to keep her voice calm, she said, "Look, Jack. You don't want to go to homecoming because you had, quote, 'bad experiences,' unquote, and then you of all people cried in that stupid movie. Jack, three weeks ago I told you all about my horrible life and about my father who shot himself in the fucking head on my fourteenth God damn birthday, and about the stupid disgusting pervert my bitch of a mother wanted me to marry and I hadn't even known you for twenty-four hours! If this is going to work, Jack, we can't keep secrets from each other. I need you to tell me what your problem is with football!"

A look of pain and hurt and abandonment flashed across Jack's face, as though a Band-Aid had been torn off of an old wound before it had gotten the chance to heal fully. Instantly, Rose regretted her words, but she knew she couldn't take them back. She could only try to make up for them, as gently as possible. "Jack… please, tell me."

Resting his head in his hands and taking a deep breath, Jack spoke slowly, as though each word was a knife cutting deep into his skin. "When I was in the ninth grade, my parents missed my homecoming game. We won it- completely destroyed the other team. I was so mad at them, though, because they decided to go to some dinner instead of coming to my game. They knew how much it bothered me, so they made sure they went the next year. I was so unappreciative of it, though… they were waiting for me when I came out of the dressing room, but I just sort of waved at them and got into my friend's dad's car… he was driving us to a restaurant to celebrate. I was gone that night… I didn't get home til something like three in the morning and I could see the smoke coming up from the ceiling and out of the windows…"

His voice trailed off and, although it was dark, Rose thought she saw his shoulders shaking heavily. "Jack…" she whispered, not knowing what to say. "I… I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

Lifting his head off his hands and facing Rose, he said, "It's okay. It was a long time ago."

Silently and very lightly, as though his body was absolutely weightless, Jack got out of the armchair and made his way into Rose's waiting arms. She held him close as he cried into her shoulder, vaguely wondering if this was the first time he'd ever told anyone about the guilt he felt towards his parent's deaths. Before tonight, Rose had thought she understand the way he felt- she'd always thought that nothing could be more painful then knowing you couldn't make your parents happy enough to stay with you, but then she still had her mother, so it was equal. Now, though, she understood otherwise. While her mother might have turned her back on her, she was still alive. Rose liked to think that if one day in the future either one of them decided that they wanted each other back in their lives, there would be no objections. And yes, learning the truth about her father's death had completely torn her apart, but nothing could make up for the guilt Jack must have felt. She wanted to take away all of his pain and to tell him that it wasn't his fault and that everything would be okay in the end, but she knew better than anyone that you couldn't just make everything go away. We take our past with us everywhere we go. Now more than ever, Rose understood why it was so important to Jack to make each day count. Not only could today be your last, it could be somebody else's last as well.

Jack and Rose stayed wrapped in each other's arms long into the night, she holding him as he finally cried for the loss of his family and for every day that he hadn't done just that. It broke Rose's heart to see Jack like that, especially because she was used to him being her rock, her strength; her everything. For the first time in her life, Rose knew what it meant to have someone who wanted you and loved you and needed you more than anything else in the world, and just how true and deep such a love was. Because it wasn't that someone was just your rock and your strength and your everything… you were each other's everything.

**NOTE: SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION ABOUT TO ENSUE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.**

**So... remember that story I told you about a little while ago... well, I published it, and it's called Through the Cracks. I don't know if many of you have noticed, but I think it could stand to perhaps "borrow," shall we say, a few reviews from this story. That's all I'm gonna say, if you get the picture. :P**

**Thanks for reading, as always. :)**


	19. June 8th, 2011

**Okay, I am cruel and evil, I know. Please don't shoot me. Also please don't shoot me because I'm leaving for Chicago on Thursday and won't be free again until next Sunday night, so I probably won't be updating again (this or Through the Cracks) for another week. I am so, so sorry, but this one is REALLY LONG and REALLY HAPPY so hopefully that makes up for it...? (fingers crossed)**

**Note: Evilly is a word, in case you were wondering. I didn't think so, either, but apparently it is. **

Chapter Nineteen

Fiore Towers Apartment Building

#39 West 45th Street

At first, Rose panicked. She had no idea what day it was or what time or even where she was, and she had absolutely no recollection of falling asleep on a couch, with Jack in her arms no less. The sun was already peeking in brightly through the windows, which somehow reminded her that it was a weekday and that she should probably be well on her way to school right now. Shit, she was in trouble. Jack was still fast asleep, and as Rose tried to manoeuvre around him, her hands somehow managed to land on her stomach. Then she remembered.

She had a doctor's appointment this morning- her very first doctor's appointment, too. All of a sudden, the gaps in Rose's memory were filled, but she was too excited to give them a second thought. She tried to wake up Jack as gently as possible, but her shaking hands didn't do a very good job. Jack jolted from his sleep and rubbed his eyes, looking as puzzled as Rose had felt moments ago.

"Whs goinon?" he muttered, sitting up and raising a tired eyebrow at Rose, who in his opinion was far too happy for such an ungodly hour. "What time is it?" he asked, speaking coherently now but still sounding groggy.

"Umm… it's ten after eight," Rose replied, having already almost danced her way into the kitchen to look at the clock. Much to his confusion, he heard banging coming from her general direction, as though she was ripping apart the entire kitchen, and with a vengeance. There was an immeasurable amount of questions running through Jack's mind, most of which involved why in the world Rose was attacking the kitchen. Then, as though she could read his mind, she shouted to be heard over the noise, "I have a doctor's appointment today, remember?" There was a loud, distinctive crash and then, "Jack, where the hell is the toaster?"

With a tired sigh, Jack pulled himself of the coach and, still rubbing his eyes and walking a bit like Frankenstein, he made his way into the kitchen that Rose had thoroughly destroyed during her search for the toaster. He bent down beside her stuck his hand way into the back of the cupboard, but just when he had found it buried under a bunch of pots and a box of stale cereal, Rose jumped up from the ground and bolted off towards the hallway. It only took Jack about a couple of seconds to realize why, and when he did he followed her into the bathroom.

This was only Rose's third day living with Jack (although it felt like it had been much longer), and because he'd been at work it was his first time experiencing morning sickness with her. He didn't really know what he was supposed to do or say as he sat there watching her throw up what little remained in her stomach from last night, because he was really scared to make her angry or something like that. When he called Mr. Cartmell last night to ask for the night off, the first thing his boss had told him after congratulating the couple was that he would have to be very wary about what he did and said around Rose for the next nine months, because pregnancy had been known to make 'psycho bitches out of even the best of women.' Those were Mr. Cartmell's words, not Jack's. He did the best he could, holding her hair and rubbing her back in circles, which was what he vaguely remembered his mother doing for him when he was little and had the flu.

Jack had always prided himself on having a stomach of steel, ever since the time when he was thirteen and he and his friend David had eaten the two-week old pizza that had been under David's bed without his knowing it. David ended up getting sick, but Jack did not. Still, one thing he could never handle very well was other people throwing up, although he didn't know why. Every time Rose's shoulders heaved in his arms, Jack felt his stomach turn over slightly. Finally, after what felt like years, Rose wiped her mouth with a clammy, shaking hand and looked up at Jack.

"Sorry about that," she said quietly, laughing in spite of herself.

"No need to apologize," he assured her, helping her up and allowing her to steady herself. Then, against his better judgement, he asked, "How long is this supposed to last for?... Because you know I hate seeing you suffer like that." Yeah, that last bit was sort of a desperate attempt not to get her too angry.

As Rose tied her hair back with an elastic that was around her wrist, she replied, "Three months. Which means only about two months and three weeks left."

Jack laughed, but inside he thought that he might not be able to last that long. On top of that, he didn't want Rose to be doing this on her own every morning for the next three months. Next Saturday when he dropped Rose off at the Cartmells', he thought that he might see if he couldn't switch shifts with one of the day guys.

"Do you still want to eat, Rose?" he asked. He didn't realize what a dumb question that was until it was already out. Rose's answer echoed his thoughts.

"I have to," she explained. "I'm actually supposed to be eating for two, you know. So I can't exactly starve myself. But I think I'm going to call the school first."

Jack and Rose walked back into the kitchen, were Rose sat down and began dialling her school's familiar number. She'd been nervous about this for the last three days, knowing that if she couldn't manage to pull of her mother's voice well enough to make up for the fact that the number she was calling from wasn't the one in the school directory, she'd be in deep trouble. Aside from whatever the consequences might be, she would also have to explain why she'd taken the morning off, which for obvious reasons she wasn't exactly looking forward to. Plus, they would call her mother. Then imagine what would happen! She could not let it get that far.

When the monotone, automatic message voice instructed her to press 2 for the attendance office, Rose's hands shook with fear. She felt like she might throw up again as the same voice said, "You have reached the York Preparatory School attendance office. Please leave a message after the tone."

It would be five seconds before she heard the beep that signalled her to deliver her message- it always had been. In those five seconds, she managed to look up at Jack hopefully, who flashed her an encouraging smile and a thumbs-up. It was as though he was saying, 'You can do it, Rose! You can mimic your mom's snobby, posh, bitchy voice just fine. I know you can.' She almost laughed at that, but the humour was cut short by the message tone. The moment of truth.

For a moment, Rose completely forgot how to speak. Somehow, she managed to choke out, "Hello, this is Ruth DeWitt Bukater calling to inform you that my daughter, Rose DeWitt Bukater will be absent this morning because she has a doctor's appointment. She should return to school after lunch."

Was that okay? Should she have said more? Less? It didn't really matter, because the machine cut out a few seconds later. There was nothing left to do but go on with her day and hope for the best.

"How was I?" she asked Jack hesitantly. The slightly comical look on his face made her fear the worst.

Very smugly, as though Jack was proud that he had such a scheming girlfriend, Jack replied, "You were absolutely wonderful. You sounded just like her!"

"That's a scary thought!" Rose joked, although inside she was thrilled that she'd pulled it off. Now that that ordeal was over with, she could comfortable go on with her day. Opening the fridge and popping some bread into the toaster that Jack had managed to drag out while she was on the phone, Rose wondered what was going to happen at the hospital today. It occurred to her that she had absolutely no idea what happened during these doctor's appointments, only that she had to go every month and that there would probably be a blood test involved.

Rose cringed at the thought of having a needle stuck into her arm. When she was thirteen, her father had noticed that she was chronically tired and suggested that they make a doctor's appointment. That was the first time she'd ever had blood drawn, and unfortunately it would not be the last. The results showed that her haemoglobin was at a staggeringly low level of 4.3, which meant that she spent the next three years getting blood taken first every six months, then once a year. Last year when the tests came back, her iron count had finally stayed in the normal range for more than a year, which had filled Rose's head with thoughts of being done with needles for a long, long time. Evidently, that wasn't how it was going to work out.

Jack poured himself a bowl of the stale cereal he'd found blocking the toaster and sat down across from Rose. He was equally excited about this appointment, and maybe a little bit more so because he wasn't the one that had to be prodded with needles. Jack didn't know all too much about what went on medically while a woman was pregnant either, but he could imagine some of the tests that would be done and he couldn't help but cringe when he imagined Rose going through them. He knew that, with an ultrasound for one, they made you drink a whole bunch of water then didn't let you go to the bathroom, which in his opinion was cruel and unusual punishment. And that was just the tip of the iceberg. Picturing Rose being poked and prodded with a whole host of medical tools made his stomach turn over and was almost enough to suck all the joy out what should be a magical moment for first time parents.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, Jack looked up at Rose and asked, "What time is our appointment at?"

"Ten o'clock," she replied after swallowing a tiny bite of toast.

"Right. Then I think that once you're done eating, you should shower right away because I know you'll take a lot longer than I will. We're going to want to be out of here by about twenty after nine, because the hospital is about a twenty-minute cab ride from here. Okay?"

As Jack spoke, the words started to fall from his lips faster and faster until Rose could barely understand them. She had to try as hard she could not to laugh at him, because he was so evidently nervous. But then that was a good thing, wasn't it? Natural, even? Hopefully his nerves would be calmed down by the time their appointment was over, and if not Rose had read somewhere years ago that a woman becomes a mother the moment she finds out she's pregnant, whereas a man becomes a father the first time he hears the baby's heartbeat. In her opinion, Jack was already an amazing dad, but maybe he hadn't fully realized yet that the thing inside of Rose was a child, not a time bomb. He would get over his nerves soon enough.

"Okay," she replied simply, knowing it would annoy him to no end.

"Okay then," Jack said, fidgeting a bit in his seat. "Cause you know, we don't want to-"

"Jack!" Rose exclaimed, cutting him off halfway through his sentence. She was biting hard on the inside of her cheek just to keep herself from falling out of her chair with laughter. It was kind of funny because Jack hadn't seemed nervous about the baby at all until today. Maybe he was one those people that just didn't like doctors in general. "Calm down! Why are you so nervous? Everything's gonna be okay?" she said, taking his hand in hers.

Jack shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, shaking his hair out of his eyes. Rose vaguely wondered how long it had been since he'd had a haircut and though that he might need to get one soon… not that his hair wasn't cute long, but it was starting to get in his way.

"I'm excited, Rose, don't think I'm not," he explained. "I was just thinking about all that stuff you said last night you had a real good point… I mean, I dunno how well we can do this, Rose. We don't have the money to get a bigger place, and you're right; we can't raise a kid here. What the hell are we gonna do, Rose?"

The honest truth was that she didn't know. She didn't know at all, and it was all she'd been thinking about for the last week. The thing was though that she wanted, just for this one day, to put all of the scary stuff out of her mind and let her pregnancy be the rewarding, special and intimate experience that it was supposed to be. Rose understood totally what Jack was saying, because it was exactly what she'd said yesterday afternoon, but she wanted more than anything to ignore it just for a few hours. Listening to Jack express her own fears, however, made her realize that she couldn't hide her emotions behind the façade of a family life that was not their own. Rose suddenly appeared very tired as she ran her hands through her hair and sighed.

"I don't know Jack," she whispered. "You're absolutely right, we've got no idea, but let's just… let's save this for some other time, okay? I'm going to have a shower and then I want to get out of here as soon as possible."

Out of the apartment, out of the whole situation… it was the same thing, wasn't it? As long as though could go hang out with an OB/GYN and pretend to be the happy couple who was more than ready for their wonderful little blessing, everything would be alright. Wouldn't it?

Rose kissed Jack on the cheek and showered as quickly as she possibly could. When she got out, Jack took the bathroom while she dressed. Everything was sort of mindless… get dressed, brush your hair, brush your teeth… things that people do without even thinking about it. Until now, Rose had though she fully understood how she felt about the whole thing. She was nervous and worried, of course, because she knew that in their current state she and Jack couldn't support a baby, but at the same time she was thrilled and excited to raise the baby. Before this morning, those two very different feelings had been able to coexist peacefully with each other, but all of a sudden she couldn't make heads or tails of it. Maybe until this morning she had though that Jack could be her rock and help her through it, but it was as though his nervousness had completely destroyed her. When they were finally ready to get going, Rose felt so worried and uncomfortable that she couldn't even stand still. She felt like throwing up, but it had nothing to do with her pregnancy.

Rose and Jack got on a subway bound for the Manhattan Metropolitan Hospital, clasping each other's hands for dear life. Both of them racked their brains for a way to ignore the frightened tension between them.

"What's our doctor's name again, Rose?" Jack asked, trying to make his eyes look really inquisitive and interested.

Reaching into her purse for the piece of paper Leslie had given them three days ago, Rose replied, "Her name is Jennifer DiLaudo. It says here she's been an OB/GYN for more than ten years, and she has a lot of experience with teen pregnancies." When she finished reading, Rose flashed a massively fake smile at Jack, and it struck her that she had once smiled the exact same smile at Cal. That worried her. It had nothing to do with her love for Jack, because that was unquestionable. It meant that she was pretending to be okay when she wasn't, and Rose hated that. She wanted to be okay… she wanted everything to be okay.

Jack must have sensed that Rose was really uncomfortable, because he didn't talk the rest of the way. When the bus stopped two blocks from the hospital, they got off quickly and quietly and battled the cold wind in silence, both of them knowing that once inside the hospital they could play pretend and let everything be fine and dandy again. Finally, when they walked inside of the massive building and felt the warm air coming from the vents caressing them, it was as though everything was normal.

"It says here that the maternity ward is on the sixth floor," Rose explained, heading towards the elevators. Her fingers were still laced through Jack's, but now she loosened her grip on them and allowed herself to smile now. It was okay now. Anyone who saw them without getting a real good look at their faces would think that they were any other happy couple who'd found themselves expecting a little miracle. The other women- the ones farther along- would smile at her and tell her how much fun she was going to have. It was okay.

The elevator grinded to a halt and Rose felt her stomach turn over. When she was little she used to love elevators- she had loved to jump as they stopped so that she would hover in mid-air for a minute. That changed when she was fifteen and got stuck in one for forty minutes. Now she got claustrophobic just stepping inside the tiny little room, and it especially bothered her when the elevator stopped because she was afraid the doors wouldn't open. Of course they did, and she and Jack stepped out into the hallway of the maternity floor.

Being there was completely surreal. Every single woman in the waiting room looked to Rose like they were nine months pregnant, but some were bigger than others. It was really weird to imagine herself ever looking like that- what would people think as she walked through the hallways? How embarrassing would it be for people to have to part for her like the Red Sea? She shuddered at the thought of it and immediately pushed it into the back of her mind.

As weird as it was, Rose liked everything about the maternity ward. Somehow, as though some divine power knew that she needed some good vibes about this whole pregnancy situation, every single woman that was there had a man with her; a man who was probably going to be an excellent father to his son or daughter someday very soon. _Well, maybe, but not as good as Jack_, she thought to herself. That was one thing this kid had going for them: no matter what else happened, he or she was going to have the best daddy on the planet. Rose only hoped she could be as good of a parent as she knew Jack would be.

Jack and Rose still had fifteen minutes until their appointment, so they sat down in the waiting area, where Rose immediately picked up a magazine and started leafing through it. It was really quite boring, but at least it was better than sitting there doing nothing. A few minutes that felt like an eternity passed by, and after a wall Rose felt Jack's hand grab onto hers protectively. More than protectively even- it actually kind of hurt. Her gaze shot up to Jack's eyes, but he wasn't looking at her. Instead, his eyes rested on a woman across the aisle from them. She had dark hair and looked to be about thirty, and was eyeing Rose with evident displease. Judging her… Scrutinizing her… like an insect.

Rose was indescribably hurt, especially because it wasn't like she had done anything that woman herself probably hadn't. There were girls her age and younger jumping in bed with every guy they dated- they just all had the fortune not to have gotten pregnant. Maybe Rose had made a mistake, sleeping with Jack so early and so young, but she knew she loved him and she wouldn't undo it for the world. Why is it that everyone knows full well their teenage daughters are sleeping around and couldn't care less, but as soon as one of them gets pregnant, it's like the end of the world.

Not knowing quite what to do, Rose did exactly what Jack was- staring straight at the woman until she stopped. She tried her best to kind of glare at her evilly, like she would at somebody who was torturing their pet dog. Sure enough, it took only a second for the bitch to look back down at the magazine in her hands and pretend like nothing had ever happened. Wonderful.

None too soon, the receptionist called out Rose's name and she and Jack approached her desk.

"Dr. DiLaudo will be seeing you in room 608," she explained with a smile. "That's just down the hall. You can wait there once we're finished here. Can I see your health card?"

Rose took the card out of her wallet and handed it to the receptionist, who typed something into a computer then handed Rose some forms to fill out… name, birth date, insurance, all that good stuff. It struck Rose then that right now she had no means of medical coverage. Damn, this was going to be an expensive baby. _Don't think like that,_ she reminded herself._ Everything will be okay._

"Perfect!" the woman said, taking the papers from Rose and putting them inside a folder. "Room 608 is the fifth door on the left. Dr. DiLaudo should be with you in a few minutes."

Rose thanked the receptionist and followed Jack into the office. They sat down in those stupid, uncomfortable, plastic school chairs that Rose personally thought were medieval torture devices How the hell did they expect pregnant women to sit in those stupid things? It couldn't possibly be good for an unborn baby.

"Are you nervous?" Jack asked, stroking Rose's hand gently. She giggled in spite of herself at the first time Jack had ever said that to her, and what it had been about. That surprised her, because she'd never really thought those kinds of things before. She had to remind herself that there was a difference in having a dirty mind and thinking about the person you loved that way… cause there was, right?

Smiling flirtatiously and hoping he, too, would remember, she shook her head and replied, "Not at all. Just excited… excited to have this baby with you."

Jack laughed and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Just don't be in too much of a hurry to get that kid out of you. She does have like eight more months to go."

Rose said nothing, but Jack's reference to their baby as a girl again didn't slip her mind. Secretly Rose hoped for a girl, but she would love her child no matter what its gender was. Just then, the door knob turned and a blonde woman walked into the room.

"Good morning," she said, in an almost sing-song voice. Dr. DiLaudo appeared to be in her mid-thirties, but with the spirit and enthusiasm of a woman much, much younger. She hadn't really thought about it before, but now Rose realized how thankful she was to have a female obstetrician. "I'm Jennifer DiLaudo. You two must be Rose and Jack!"

Jack nodded and extended his hand to the doctor. Rose did the same. "That'd be us," he replied. "It's nice to meet you."

Dr. DiLaudo sat down in her own stupid, plastic school chair and took Rose's chart out of the folder she held in her hands. Although she didn't know why, Rose felt instantly as though she could trust Dr. DiLaudo. There was something about the way she smiled at them as though they were old friends, and in the gentle way that she flipped through the pages in her folder that screamed trustworthy. Thank goodness.

"Alright," she began, resting her hands on her lap and looking back up at Jack and Rose. "First things first, Rose. Your chart here says you figure you're about five weeks pregnant. Is that right?"

Rose knew that wasn't what she'd written on the form. Confused, she replied, "Umm… I think I wrote three weeks if I'm not mistaken." Actually, she knew she'd written down three weeks, and she wasn't mistaken.

Dr. DiLaudo nodded and chuckled slightly. "You're right, Rose. That's what you wrote, but the questionnaire asked you how long it's been since the instance of sexual intercourse. So technically you're three weeks pregnant, but in the medical world we measure pregnancy from the date of your last menstrual period, so about five weeks."

"Oh, well that makes sense. That'd be about right." Rose said. Well, it made sense to her, anyways. It didn't go unnoticed though that Jack had began to shuffle nervously in his seat. Rose could easily understand that this probably wasn't his favourite topic under the sun. If the doctor's questions stayed along these lines, it was going to be all she could do not to burst out laughing. Boys really never grow up, do they?

Dr. DiLaudo nodded and scribbled something down in her folder. "I'm just writing down everything you say," she explained, "so that the hospital can keep track of your pregnancy in case anything goes wrong. Now, I've got a couple of questions for you two- well, mostly for you, Rose- and then we're going to do a blood test to check for anaemia, hepatitis, HIV, syphilis and rubella, and to confirm how far along you are. So, it says here you're seventeen?"

Rose tried to focus on the questions, but all of those diseases the doctor had just named sent shivers down her spine. She couldn't have any of them, could she? "That's right," she replied, trying to hide the quiver in her voice.

"Okay," Dr. DiLaudo said, smiling in a weird sort of way that Rose didn't quite know how to take. She squeezed Jack's hand for what had to be the millionth time that day. "Now, it's really not my place, but I would feel bad not asking… do you two have a plan for raising this child?"

Rose closed her eyes for a moment, trying to gather her composure. This time around, the person asking the questions really did have her best interests at heart. Still, it was difficult to shake that paranoid feeling, as though everyone was looking at her the same way as the woman out in the waiting room. "We're working on that," she said. "No need to worry though. We'll be okay."

Dr. DiLaudo smiled and nodded, looking as though she really did believe what Rose had said. "I'm sure you will be. Alright, so I've got a few questions here. I'm giving you fair warning now, Jack… you might not like a some of these questions, so you're welcome to leave the room if you want. You feeling up to it?"

Jack nodded, not at all to Rose's surprise. She knew well enough by now that Jack was the type of person who wanted to be beside her through this entire process, even if it meant reliving eighth grade sex education. "I'm sure I'll survive."

"Okay then," the doctor said, not missing a beat. "What was the first day of your last menstrual period?"

Rose racked her brain for what she would thought not a month ago to have been such trivial information. Sometime around the end of August… it was written on her calendar and everything…

"August 31st," she said, after finally remembering which date had a big red circle around it. She hadn't seen that calendar in four days now, and she wasn't going to see it again. It was the little things like that that made her realize just how far she was from everything she'd ever known.

Dr. DiLaudo scribbled that information down on Rose's chart and Jack looked down and fiddled with his thumbs. As hard as she tried not to, Rose cracked a huge smile and had to suppress the urge to laugh. She hadn't thought about how awkward this must be for the dad.

"And how long does your complete cycle usually last?" she asked.

"Twenty-seven days," Rose replied quickly. That much she knew off the top of her head, and she kind of wanted to get this over with as fast as possible for Jack's sake, who by the way was now flushing a deep red colour and chewing on his lip, still staring at the ground. In a way she felt really bad for him, but at the same time she didn't understand why guys were so immature about this stuff. She wouldn't be acting like that if they were discussing the male reproductive system.

Dr. DiLaudo smiled and said directly to Jack, "You can relax now. We're done talking about periods," which was an obvious joke intended to make him even more squeamish.

"Lovely," Jack said, rolling his eyes. Rose repeated the gesture, but directed it at him instead.

"Okay, I'm going to wager a guess that you haven't been pregnant before, am I right?" Dr. DiLaudo asked. "I only say that because after the first, the dad usually gets used to that line of questioning."

Rose laughed out loud, so glad that her doctor had a sense of humour. "You're absolutely right, Doctor. This is our first."

She smiled and wrote it down on the chart. By this point Rose really didn't know what she'd been so nervous about- everything was going just beautifully, and she had to admit, it was fun to watch Jack squirm like a little boy.

Brushing her hair behind her ear, Dr. DiLaudo asked, "Do you have any medical conditions we should be aware of?"

"I was anaemic up until last year…" Rose explained, shuttering at the thought because it reminded her of needles. "I mean, anaemia doesn't go away, but you know what I mean. My counts are all good last time I checked."

"Okay," Dr. DiLaudo said with a slight nod, "but pregnancy can make your haemoglobin counts plummet, because you're sharing nutrients with the baby. How often are you taking an iron supplement?"

"I've been taking on every night with a multivitamin," Rose explained.

"Well, after we see the results of the blood test, I might recommend that you take one in the morning as well. If your haemoglobin is above eleven we'll leave it as it is for now, but you're still going to have to be very careful and very watchful." She turned to Jack and said, "If you notice Rose getting tired or sluggish, or if her complexion becomes pale and lacklustre, I want you to make sure you schedule another appointment with me straight away, okay Jack?"

Jack nodded, with something resembling fierce determination in his eyes. It warmed Rose heart to know he cared that much about her. She'd been living with anaemia for what felt like all her life and she knew that, under normal circumstances anyway, it was no big deal. Still, if Jack wanted to fight it like it was the monster under the bed of a six year old, then she wasn't going to stop him. She felt the oddest longing to kiss him full on the mouth right then and there, but of course she didn't.

Dr. DiLaudo asked the couple a few more questions, mostly about diseases and blood and the like. They all made Rose really nervous, although not nearly as nervous as she was when they followed the doctor's lead into the laboratory. Jack must have heard her taking deep, long breaths to steady herself because he put a gentle hand on her shoulder and said, "It's okay, sweetheart. You can do it. It's just like a bee sting."

"Right," Rose replied, although that meant nothing to her because she'd never been stung by a bee before. People had been telling her that forever, but it wasn't like they had to get blood taken every six months.

Dr. DiLaudo held the door open for Rose and Jack, who again took a seat in stupid, plastic school chairs. Dr. DiLaudo began to explain something to Rose, but she cut her off.

"Sorry for being disrespectful," she explained, "but I really don't even want to know what you're doing. Just stick the thing in me and get it over with, please."

Rose closed her eyes and felt the familiar rubber band being tied around the thickest part of her arm. She felt the familiar sensation of thin fingers rubbing the inside of her elbow in search of the vein, and smelled the familiar scent of rubbing alcohol being dabbed on the spot. Finally, she felt the familiar grip of Jack's warm hand in her free one, and she squeezed it tightly as the needle pierced through her skin. The further in it went, the tighter she squeeze her eyes shut and the tighter she held onto Jack's hand. She hated the way she was able to feel it every time a new vial was put in. It seemed like it took a thousand years to fill five, but when Rose finally felt all of the tension release as the needle was pulled out of the crook of her arm, it was as though she could breathe again.

"Thank God that's over!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Jack. "God, that hurt."

Dr. DiLaudo laughed and said, "I've gotta say, Rose, you actually handled that pretty well considering how small your veins are. It was really difficult to prick the right place, and most people only need four vials taken. Since your veins are so small, though, I had no choice but to use more of the smaller vials. You did a great job, Rose."

Rose breathed a huge sigh of relief that the hardest part was now over. All they had left to do was wait for the results, which Dr. DiLaudo promised wouldn't take more than a half hour. Alone inside the office, Jack and Rose talked about everything and nothing at the same time. All of a sudden, a though struck Rose and she couldn't keep it contained.

"I know it's early," she said, "but I was wondering… have you thought about names at all?"

Jack shrugged. "Not really, to be honest. I've always thought Victoria was a pretty name for a girl, and I think that, if he's a boy, we could name him after your dad and my dad… if that's okay with you." Then, as an afterthought, "My dad's name was Callaghan."

Rose thought that was a wonderful idea. Her dad's name was Connor, and she didn't really want their son to have two C names, but he could be Callaghan Thomas, which was her father's middle name. And it was an amazing coincidence that Jack liked the name Victoria, because that was the name she had picked out for a girl back when she was eleven.

"I really like that," she said, just as Dr. DiLaudo rejoined them in her office. She didn't look upset or frightened, which Rose took as a good sign.

"Alright," she said, sitting down in front of Jack and Rose. "I have good news and I have okay news. The good news is that you're definitely pregnant. Your bhCG levels, which stands for beta human chorionic gonadotropin and is basically the hormone that detects pregnancy, is at 528, which is exactly where it should be and suggests that you're about five weeks along, which means that your due date is approximately June 8th."

Dr. DiLaudo paused in her speech, as though she'd practiced this a million times, which gave Jack and Rose a moment to embrace each other. For some reason, Rose felt tears brimming behind her eyes and struggled to keep them back. June 8th, 2011… that was the day she was going to hold her baby in her arms. That was the day she was going to kiss its head and wrap it in blankets and nurse it and coddle it and absolutely love it to bits. Well, she already loved the baby to bits, but once he or she was born it was going to be so much more real.

"More good news," Dr. DiLaudo continued, "is that all of your tests came back 100% fine except for the haemoglobin. It's at six, which is really low. I'm going to have you take two pills a day instead of one and see how that works out. I'm also going to schedule another appointment for one month from today, and at that point we'll do your first ultrasound."

Rose and Jack thanked Dr. DiLaudo then made their way outside. So her iron was low. Big deal. It was always low. That wasn't what mattered. What mattered was that in nine months, she and Jack were going to finally be holding their little Victoria or Callaghan in their arms and kissing their head and touching their delicate little face. Plus, in a month from now they were going to see their baby for the first time and hear its heart beat. Now more than ever before, she truly felt like a mother.

"You know what, Rose?" Jack said as they stepped outside, wrapping his arm around her waist. "I love you so much."

This time, as he kissed her, she couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks.


	20. Crashing Down Midflight

Chapter Twenty

Fiore Towers Apartment Building

#39 West 45th Street

"Come on, Rose!" Jack yelled from the kitchen. "I really don't think Cora cares about how your make-up looks, and we've gotta pick up Fabri and Helga in ten minutes!"

Tonight was the night Rose was going to babysit Cora while her father unveiled some sort of grand exhibit at the art gallery. Jack didn't know if that would make his job easier or harder, but either way he was excited to have a night that was a little bit different from every other one. However, he was going to be very late for said night if Rose didn't hurry up in the bathroom and get ready to go.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Rose emerged from the bathroom with her jacket over her arm. As she shrugged her shoulders into the sleeve and gestured to a see-through plastic tote bad resting on the table, she said, "I said nail polish, Jack, not make-up. And it's for Cora, not me. I thought I might do her nails tonight if we get bored."

Sure enough, the bag was full of at least twenty different colours of nail polish- everything from soft pastels to vibrant rainbow colours and dark shades like navy and black. Jack didn't remember how old he was the last time he babysit somebody- probably his neighbours sometime before his parents died – but all he'd done was give the kids a bunch of snacks and parked it in front of the TV while they ate themselves into a sugar high then crashed and burned. Parents always marvelled at how he got the kids to go sleep so early, but the truth was that he had been the worst babysitter on the planet. Rose was a different story. She was good at this, he could tell. God, she was going to make the most amazing mother ever.

"Oh, whatever," he retorted, not particularly feeling like showing Rose just how awestruck he was with her at the moment. "Let's just get out of here, alright? We don't want to keep anybody waiting."

Rose picked up her bag and linked her arm through Jack's, practically yanking him out the door as though she had been the one rushing the entire time. That was probably Jack's favourite quality of hers, if he could choose one- that inside she was so much older than her seventeen years, even if only because she had to be, yet sometimes there was this childlike playfulness pouring out of her. As weird as it was, the best way Jack could describe it was like that peanut-butter-and-jam-in-the-same-jar stuff that was really popular when he was little. Two completely different flavours that went so well together that one day somebody decided to shove them into one jar and create the best thing in the world.

Jack couldn't help but laugh at that, which made Rose raise one eyebrow at him as they stepped into the elevator. "What's so funny, love?" she asked.

Smiling at her, Jack replied coyly, "I was just thinking how you remind me of peanut butter and jam."

"What?" Rose asked incredulously, staring at Jack as though he had two heads. She was so cute when she did that, which much to Jack's dismay was quite often.

"I'll tell you some other time," he promised as they stepped out into the lobby, not particularly feeling like justifying his upside-down frame of mind at the moment. Outside, the breeze brushed sharply against Jack and Rose's faces. With each passing day now the air grew chillier, and Rose was thankful that she wasn't going to be walking around on swollen ankles or carrying an extra forty pounds during the hot summer months. She was going to be finished with being pregnant by June 8th… she still couldn't stop thinking about that. June 8th. On that day she was really going to be a mommy. Every time she thought that, a smile danced over her face and nothing else could work its way into her mind. It just made her so happy that she could almost ignore the freezing wind and imagine that it was already a blissful summer day and she was holding her baby in her arms.

Both Fabrizio's family's apartment and the art gallery were almost on the other side of town, so Jack and Rose had decided that it would be a lot cheaper to take the subway instead of a cab. That meant, though, that they had to walk four blocks to the subway station, and Rose hadn't been expecting it to be as chilly as it was. Dressed just in skinny jeans and an oversized turtleneck sweater, she wound her arm around Jack's tightly in an effort to stop herself from shivering. It took Jack only a few minutes to realize how cold she was.

"Are you cold, babe?" he asked, already shrugging his shoulders out of his leather jacket.

Rose shook her head. "I'm fine, Jack. Don't worry about it. No, Jack, you'll freeze! Jack!" she continued to protest as Jack wrapped his coat around her and stood outside in the cold in just a button-up shirt.

"I'll be fine, Rose," he insisted, kissing her on the cheek. "You're freezing. Don't worry about me."

The couple walked the remainder of the way to the bus station in a comfortable silence, Rose only thinking about how good Jack was to her. She was a lot warmer now, but it was evident by his shivering and the bright red colour of his nose and the tips of his ear that Jack was freezing his butt off. Normally Rose would have insisted that he take his jacket back, but she him well enough by now to know that there was no point. When Jack set his mind on doing something for someone else, there was no stopping him.

When they finally stepped into the station, Rose was expecting an instant rush of heat which would allow her to give Jack his coat back so that he could warm up. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten that the New York subway system didn't have heating. What sort of crackpot idea was that? The city had had subways for how long now, and nobody was smart enough to install heating and air conditioning? Still, she couldn't let Jack shiver silently any longer, so without a word she shrugged out of the leather jacket and placed it on Jack's hands.

He rolled his eyes but obliged, and Rose could tell that he was instantly more comfortable. Re-linking their arms into each other's, Jack and Rose paid for their bus ride and settled down in two seats next to a window.

"Do you think you're gonna have fun tonight, Rose?" Jack teased. He'd been making fun of her relentlessly for the last week because the reception at the art gallery was an eighteen-and-over affair. In nine months, which in Rose's opinion couldn't come fast enough, she would be eighteen, but for now she was stuck playing babysitter while everybody else, including Jack, went out. What Jack clearly didn't understand, though, was that not only was she used to being the only one left at home, she really didn't mind babysitting.

Rose's mother wasn't very close with her family and they'd severed the last connections with the world outside the Upper East Side after her father had died, but when she was twelve and thirteen she would sometimes watch her little cousins for an hour or two. Rose had loved little kids since she was about seven, and although Jack thought she was just making excuses, there was a part of her that would almost rather be looking after Cora than at a party. She'd seen enough of them over the last couple of years to last a lifetime, and every little thing that reminded her of the life she'd left behind was like a tiny stress fracture that she knew was eventually going to render her useless. It just hurt too much.

"As a matter of fact, I am," Rose whispered, brushing Jack's wild hair out of his eyes. Although she had no idea where it came from, she suddenly had the urge to say, "Although I think I'd be having more fun if I were with you."

Jack smiled at her coyly. "Calm down there, Rose. We're in public."

"That's why God invented whispers," she replied, kissing him softly on the tip of his ear. Rose had absolutely no idea what had gotten into her lately, but sometimes she felt like all she wanted was Jack. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought she'd heard sometime that being pregnant changed your hormones around and sometimes altered your sexual desire, but she didn't really care to think about that. In these moments, which seemed to come onto her all of a sudden and with absolutely no warning, all she cared about was Jack.

Wrapping his arm around her, Jack replied, "Tell you what, Rose. You know I gotta work tonight, but if you want I can tell Mr. Cartmell that, with you being pregnant and all, I don't feel comfortable with you travelling in New York City by yourself. Then we'll see if we can't find a few minutes extra and then you can tell me how much fun you're having."

Jack would never deny Rose anything because he loved her too much, but in truth he didn't really know how comfortable he was with her newfound displays of sexuality. It wasn't like it wasn't anything girls her age weren't doing all the time, and if anything it was more justified because he and Rose really loved each other and were going to be together for the foreseeable future. It wasn't as though she was getting drunk all the time and sleeping with every guy she saw, but still. Rose was so young and so beautiful and so not like most seventeen-year-old girls, and there was a part of Jack that didn't like taking that from her.

Resting her head on his shoulder, Rose whispered, "I love you Jack."

"I love you, too, Rose," he replied, and softly kissed her mane of dark red curls.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, resting on each other as people floated in and out of the subway around them. Finally, when the bus lurched to a halt for the ninth time, Jack and Rose shuffled out of their seats and out into the cold again. Thankfully, though, the DeRossi's apartment was right across the street from the station, and after a quick dash across the busy street, they stood in the warmth of the entrance area. Jack pressed a button the wall so that Fabri could buzz him in, and in a moment there was an answer on the other side of the line.

"Hello?" said a little girl's voice that Rose did not recognize. Evidently Jack did, though, because he smiled. Rose always found it kind of funny that people smiled when they were one the phone and stuff like that, even though the person on the other line couldn't see you.

"Hey, Carina. It's Jack. Can you buzz us in, sweetheart?"

"Sure!" the little girl names Carina exclaimed. Rose looked at Jack inquisitively, wondering who Carina was.

Opening the main doors for her, Jack answered her silent question. "She's Fabri's youngest sister. Mr. and Mrs. DeRossi have six kids and Fabri's the oldest. He has two other sisters, Gabrielle, who's seventeen and Rosalia, who's twelve. Then his brothers Matteo and Sandro are twins, and they're fifteen. The DeRossis came to America when Mrs DeRossi was pregnant with the twins," he continued to explain as they got into the elevator that would take them to the fifth floor. "I've known them for about three years, and they have nothing but they're probably the most loving…"

Jack trailed off as they climbed into the elevator and looked at Rose as though he was very sorry for something he had said. For a minute Rose didn't even understand- that was how distant she already felt from the life she'd walked away from just a week ago. That was probably because, although it had only been a week since she really left her mother and Cal for good, she had left them in mind and spirit the day she met Jack- maybe even before.

After a moment's pause, Rose laughed and replied, "Jack, you should know that doesn't bother me. I don't care anymore."

"Well, I guess that's a good thing," he replied, wrapping his hand around her waist, "because you're about to meet them."

The door to an apartment a fair bit bigger than Jack's but surely not big enough to house eight people swung open and Jack and Rose stood facing a girl who wasn't exactly little but not quite a teenager yet. Her dark chestnut waves hung down the middle of her back, and her sun-kissed complexion reminded Rose of the girls on the Riviera when her parents took her a couple of years ago.

"Hi, Jack!" she exclaimed. The girl's English was accented as well, but only vaguely. Placing on hand on her hips and looking up into their eyes, she asked, "Are you Rose DeWitt Bukater?"

Rose held onto Jack's hand a little bit tighter and looked up at him, as though searching for an answer as to why Fabri's sister knew who she was. When his eyes gave her no response, she smiled at the girl and said. "That's me. Are you Rosalia?"

She nodded but said nothing else on that note. Instead, she raised one eyebrow and Rose and remarked, "I saw you in a magazine one time a little while ago. I thought you were getting married to some rich guy," she concluded, gazing piercingly at Rose and Jack's intertwined hands.

Wow, this girl had attitude! Either that or she, apparently like most little girls who knew him, had some weird possessiveness over Jack, and she just happened to be a little bit older and had more tactful ways of displaying it.

"Well, Rosalia," Rose explained, trying not to speak to her as though she was a small child but really not knowing how to handle it, "I guarantee you I'm not marrying that rich guy from the magazine. Cool?"

Rosalia looked as though she was about to speak again, but a shout from the kitchen turned everyone's attention that way.

"_Rosa!_" a woman called with a thick Italian accent. _"Invia con Jack. Viena via da li!"_

At first Rose was taken aback by Mrs. DeRossi's shouting at her, and looked up at Jack, hoping he'd understood what she was saying. When Jack shook his head and pointed at Rosalia, who was already stomping off into what must have been her bedroom, everything made sense. Whatever her mother had said, it had gotten Rosalia off her back, and that was good enough for Rose. Still, if they spent any more time with the DeRossis, the whole Rosa thing could become really confusing.

As Rose and Jack stepped into the cramped space, Mrs DeRossi emerged from the kitchen before anyone else got the chance to greet them. She wrapped her arms around first Jack, then Rose, and kissed them both on each cheek.

"_Ciao, _Rose!" she exclaimed. "I am Isabella DeRossi, Fabrizio's mother. You can 'a call me Bella. Please, come in! You two are hungry, no?" she asked as Fabrizio and Helga stood up to say hello to Jack and Rose.

Helga was dressed in a short, flouncy black skirt and a white lacy top, and her hair fell in curls around her pale face. Most girls probably would have seen her and felt some sort of inert desire to go wherever she was going, but Rose felt exactly the opposite. Although the way they were dressed was really casual compared to anything Ruth would have shoved her into for this thing, just seeing Jack, Fabri and Helga ready to go to a party made Rose's stomach turn over. She was so over it, and she was so glad that she didn't have to go.

The couple had dropped by to pick up Fabrizio and his girlfriend tonight because Mr. Cartmell had told Jack that if he wanted to bring any guests he could, so long as they were of age. He knew how, as much as he loved his family, Fabrizio liked to just get out of the house sometimes and looked forward to the day when he saved up enough money to get his own place, so Jack had asked them if they wanted to come along.

After doing that weird man-hug thing with Jack that Rose never understood, and kissing her on both cheeks, Fabrizio turned to his mother and said, in perfect Italian, "_Mamma, te l'ho detto già che stiamo per essere in ritardo. Non è necessario per sfamare tutti coloro che vengono in questa porta!"_

"_Capisco che, Fabrizio! Perdonami per aver cercato di essere gentile con gli ospiti_!" she yelled back. One of Rose's favourite things about living in New York City was listening to random arguments in other languages, especially between druggies on the street. Once, when she was ten, she had stopped dead in her tracks to listen to two Japanese people argue on the street. When her mother realized she was gone, she'd yanked her away and scolded her about it for days. Every time that thought flickered through her mind, Rose had to suppress the urge to laugh.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Rose tried to glance up at Jack inconspicuously, but she probably didn't do a very good job, because as soon as their eyes met, Jack bit his lip and his shoulders began to shake.

Practically yanking Jack and Rose out the door behind him, Fabrizio said, "_Qualunque cosa, mamma. Stiamo lasciando. Arrivederci a tutti!"_

Rose looked over her shoulder and managed to call out, "Thank you, Mrs. DeRossi!" before Fabrizio slammed the door shut behind them. He lead the way into the elevator, arm linked through Helga's, and when the door was finally closed, he leaned back against the wall and sighed.

"I am 'a so sorry, _Rosa,_" he explained, laughing slightly but rubbing his temples in slow circles nonetheless. Evidently something either his sister or his mother had said was really embarrassing, because Rose had never seen him looking anything but ecstatic until now. "My sister, she is 'a not normally like that… I am 'a sure my mother is 'a gonna tell her, but still… I'm very sorry."

Rose laughed and smiled at Fabrizio. "Don't worry, Fabri. Little girls like Jack, I get it."

As Jack's face turned a thousand shades of brilliant red, Rose couldn't stop the mile-wide grin creeping up her face and reaching her eyes. After a moment, she started to laugh out loud, and was followed shortly by Helga, Fabri, and, finally a still cherry-coloured Jack. Rose was thankful nobody else was in the elevator with them, because by the time they reached the lobby, all four of them were struggling to keep their feet on the ground, even as they supported themselves against the wall. By the time the elevator grinded to a halt, everyone's face was the same shade of red as Jack's, and none of them even remembered why they were laughing in the first place.

They were all still laughing as they piled into the cab that would take them to the Cartmell's house. As they drove, Jack, Fabrizio and Helga talked amicably, but Rose couldn't help but rest her head against the window and watch the only place she'd ever call home fly past her yet again. Lately it seemed like Rose's life was changing every day, and just watching the city go by seemed to her almost symbolic for this change. She was still the same person, but just as New York City looked different during every season and at every time of the day, Rose felt like the person she was inside was just a base layer for things that were constantly added and taken away. It was hard to really know yourself when you were always changing like that.

When the cab pulled up in front of the Cartmell's cute little suburban home – still, in Rose's opinion, the best place in the world to live – she got out first but walked a few paces behind everyone else, who were still laughing amongst each other. Rose was noticing that she got like this a lot lately- suddenly very reflective and melancholy, for no apparent reason. She plastered her face with a fake smile as Jack rang the doorbell, but in an instant it was replaced with a real one as Cora swung open the door and wrapped her arms around Jack's waist.

"I missed you, Jack!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down. "I haven't seen you in like a month!"

Lifting her up into his arms obligingly, Jack said, "I missed you, too, Cora." Rose couldn't help but be amazed at the gentle way he held her in her arms and then placed her back down on the ground, making her feel nothing but loved. She couldn't wait until the day when he did that with their own children. Rose instantly remembered the first time she danced with Jack, in this very back yard, and thinking how someday, ten years down the road, they'd be doing the same thing, only while trying to balance their own sleeping daughter between them. Evidently that day was going to come sooner than planned, but the more she noticed how gentle and loving Jack was, the more she was okay with it. If nothing else, this baby would always have their parents to love and support them.

"Hi, Rose," Cora said, sounding a little bit less enthusiastic but happy nonetheless. Rose was glad that Cora had apparently gotten over her resentment at least enough to want to see her. "Hi, everybody!"

Cora's father appeared at the door behind her a moment later and told everyone to come in. He showed Rose around the house and told her that he'd already ordered pizza and left money for it on the kitchen table, and that since it wasn't a school night Cora's bedtime was ten o'clock. Everyone else filed out the door and into the cab, but before Jack left he gave Rose a hug and kissed her quickly.

"See you tomorrow, love," he said with a smile. Then, before she even had to remind him, he bent down and gave Cora a hug, too. "I'm gonna miss you, Cora. Remember, you're still my best girl, kay?"

"Okay! Bye, Jack!" Cora exclaimed, waving from the hallway as Jack shut the door behind him and went off to join the rest of the adults. It was so weird for Rose to think of them as that way, but not herself. She decided that just because the law says you're still a child doesn't necessarily mean you're not grown up.

As the door closed, Rose turned around to Cora and sat down at the table, ready to ask her all about school and her family and friends and what she liked to do and all of those things little kids liked to be asked because it made them feel special. Cora, however, clearly had other plans. She sat down at the table across from Rose and rested her hands on the table as though to say that she meant business. _She's probably seen her dad do this a thousand times_, Rose thought.

Raising one eyebrow and reminding Rose very much of herself at that age, Cora asked, "Are you Jack's girlfriend?"

At first, Rose was a little bit surprised that Cora had such nerve. As annoying as it could be, Rose liked that quality in little kids. It meant they were going to grow up to be strong adults. Well, that's what she thought, anyway. Her mother thought that it meant they were going to become spoiled brats someday.

Smiling at the little girl sitting across from her and resting her hand of the small one on the table, Rose said, "Well, Cora, I guess you could say that. Jack and I love each other very much."

"Oh," Cora said, tilting her head to the side a little bit and staring at Rose, as though trying to process the information. Rose knew that at Cora's age, people probably didn't think much of their parents really being in love with each other- they just knew that they were married and that they loved their children. She still remembered the time she realized that relationships were about love and not just being together all the time; it was the same day she realized that her parents were not in love. She was eight years old and they were walking around Central Park when Rose noticed that all of the other couples were smiling and laughing and holding hands, while her parents walked on opposite sides of her, hardly speaking to each other. Almost a decade later, Rose still didn't understand the whole that had been at work in her parents' marriage- she was just glad to be free of it.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Rose grabbed the money from the table and called over her shoulder, "Be back in a second!"

She opened the door to reveal a scrawny teenage boy in an oversized uniform whose smile revealed his braces. The sad thing about the stereotypical pizza-delivery kid is that it's usually true. Rose smiled at him as she took the pizza box out of his small hands and told him to keep the change. She would give some of her own money to Mr. Cartmell and no one would be the wiser. When she got back into the kitchen, Rose saw that Cora was still sort of staring at her, and it looked as though she was thinking really hard about something. Having been on herself not too long ago, Rose knew enough about young girls to know that clearly whatever was on Cora's mind wasn't just about Jack.

"Cora," she began, picking up her tote bag full of nail polish and swinging it over her shoulder, "are you allowed to eat in your room?"

Cora shook her head, and Rose said, "Well, guess what? You are tonight!"

Before Rose could even blink, Cora shot up out of her chair and bounded up the stairs, her footsteps surprisingly heavy for a girl her size. She stopped dead in her tracks on the second floor landing and called out, "Rose, you're the best!"

Rose laughed to herself and slowly climbed up the stairs behind Cora, careful to crane her neck over the pizza box so as not to trip over her own feet. When she got to Cora's room, which had each wall painted a different shade of purple, with silvery curtains hanging in front of two bay windows, Rose saw that Cora was already seated, cross-legged, on her double bed. Rose sat the pizza box down in front Cora and sat on the opposite end, resting against the headboard.

"So Cora," Rose started again, reminding herself how special little kids felt when older people took the time to treat them like adults and trying to emulate the people who'd made her feel that way as a kid, "what made you ask if I was Jack's girlfriend?" She opened the pizza and took out a piece for Cora then herself, thankful that there were napkins stuffed inside the box because she'd forgotten all about them.

Cora leaned back against the wall and looked a little bit shy. In a very soft voice, she asked, "Is it okay if I ask you a question about grown-up stuff?"

Rose nodded. She wasn't exactly sure what 'grown-up stuff' was, but she had a pretty fair idea. At any rate, it was the lie parents told their children when they didn't want them meddling in other people's business, and if it had to do with Jack and herself, then it wasn't all too hard to figure out.

"Okay…" the little girl said slowly. "Don't be mad, okay? I just want to know… are you and Jack gonna have a baby?"

That was exactly what Rose had thought. Her guess was that Cora had overheard her father talking about it to Jack that time on the phone the night Fabrizio and Helga came over, and it must have just killed her to wait the long to find out. There were probably some people who wouldn't go around telling six-year-olds that they were pregnant at seventeen, but Rose didn't see any reason to be one of those people. It wasn't like being pregnant could stay a secret for very long anyway.

"Actually, yes, Cora," Rose replied calmly. "Jack and I are going to have a baby. Like I said, we love each other very much, and when two people love each other they have a baby so that they can love the baby just as much."

Was that a good enough explanation? Rose hadn't imagined herself having to explain to a child why two people were having a baby for a long time, and until the words were coming out of her mouth, she still didn't know what she was going to say. Things like that made her really nervous and she was constantly worried about screwing up, but whenever she felt like that, she just told herself that it was good practice for parenthood.

Cora nodded, and both of them were silent for a moment. Rose allowed her mind to wander, thinking that if that baby growing inside her right now was a girl, then someday not too far down the line she might be having a night just like this with her own daughter. All her life Rose had wished for a sister that she could take care of and talk to and give advice to, so she felt oddly excited to be doing it for the first time.

After what felt like a long time sitting in silence, Cora spoke up again. "Rose, people in love are usually the same age right? Cause that's what I thought. So I was wondering, do some of your friends wish they could be in love with Jack? Cause Jack is kind of cute and he has blond hair and blue eyes, and I saw on this TV show once that some girls always fall in love with guys that have blond hair and blue eyes. So I was just wondering, and I also wanted to know if that's how come you're in love with Jack? Cause this one time when Jack first started working for my daddy, he took me with him this morning when Jack was just leaving I saw these two girls standing in the doorway and you could tell they were kinda staring at him, and they were like laughing and stuff. So yeah."

The most amazing part was that it all came out in one breath.

"Woah…" Rose said, still processing exactly what Cora's many questions had been. She also had to resist the urge to laugh as she was reminded of the incident in the elevator less than an hour ago. It really was true- little girls liked Jack. She was going to have to tell him all about this tomorrow.

"That's a lot of questions, Cora… Umm, okay… well, first of all, you're right about one thing." she explained, smiling coyly, as though she was letting Cora in on some big secret, "Jack is really cute. But most of my friends don't know him, except for on. The thing is, though, Cora, and you won't have to worry about this for a long, long time; you don't fall in love with someone because of what's on the outside. People fall in love because of what's on the inside- because the other person cares about them and is nice to them and would do anything for them," Rose finished. In truth, although answering questions about the nature of love to a six-year-old was not how she'd ever imagined spending a Saturday night, it wasn't really as strange as it would have seemed.

A sudden look of realization flashed across Cora's face, and she exclaimed, "Like how Jack saved you from falling off the bridge!"

Oh, God… That wasn't exactly something Rose wanted to remember all the time. She loved the memory of her hand's in Jacks for the very first time, but remembering why she'd even been there that night was something she would rather not have done. Rose hardly even remembered telling Cora that, and she was shocked that Cora herself did. So what was she supposed to say?

"Kind of, I guess," she replied slowly. "Are you finished eating Cora?"

The little girls nodded vigorously, shaking her curly head of hair all over the place. Rose jumped off the bed, closed the pizza box, picked up her tote bag and made her way across the room. She stopped in the doorway, waiting for Cora to follow her. She looked confused for a moment, so Rose just smiled and said, "Come on, Cora! I have an idea."

Clearly Cora was a fan of Rose's ideas since they involved eating in her room, as she sprang up from the bed and bolted down the stairs. Yet again, she reached the foot of the stairs before Rose was even halfway down, and she was sitting in an oversized armchair in the living room by the time Rose caught up. Rose noticed that the Cartmell's house was very nice – they evidently had money – but that it also felt a lot like a home should. It occurred to her that this was the first time she'd ever felt a balance between home and money, and that it was a feeling she sort of like having.

As Rose sat down on the couch, Cora asked, "So, what's your idea? Is it fun? Cause your last idea was really good!"

Rose smiled. This thought had popped into her head really all of a sudden, and normally it wasn't something you'd do with a girl a little bit older than Cora- maybe nine or ten- but she was evidently a little more grown-up than most kids her age, and Rose used to do this with her little cousins all the time. It had a way of making kids feel more mature and accepted.

"We are going to have a sleepover," Rose declared. "What's your favourite movie?"

Cora's eyes lit up, just as Rose knew they would because she'd seen it happen dozens of times before. "I have like 700 favourite movies, Rose," she explained excitedly, already rummaging through a pile of DVDs next the flat-screen TV. "But can we watch Enchanted?"

Rose surveyed the case the Cora had laid in her hands, vaguely remembering this movie. She'd never seen it, but she'd heard about it when it first came out. It had been a long time since Rose was six years old and she didn't even remember the kind of movies kids that age watched, but she knew enough to appreciate the fact that she wasn't about to be forced to watch High School Musical or the Hannah Montana Movie.

She nodded and got up to put the DVD into the player. "I don't see why not. Oh, by the way," she said, suddenly remembering something. "I brought a whole bunch of nail polish so we could paint your nails if you wanted. How does that sound?"

"Awesome," Cora replied, "but can we have popcorn? There's some on top of the stove."

Of course. Popcorn. How could she have forgotten? Rose laughed to herself and went off into the kitchen to go make popcorn. In a weird way, she really wished Jack could see her now, taking care of a little kid and doing everything in her power to make her happy. It was ridiculous, she knew, but there was some nagging voice at the back of her mind that wanted desperately to prove herself to Jack when it came to this kind of thing. He was twenty years old and had been living on his own for five years- evidently he would be more than capable of taking care of a child. Rose, on the other hand, was only seventeen, still in school, and basically the definition of a spoiled brat. The logical half of her mind knew she was being completely stupid, because Jack had complete faith in her, but still… the voice of her mother pursued her at all times, telling her she wasn't good enough. If only her mother could see her now! As she took the popcorn out of the microwave, Rose felt an overwhelming sense of pride. She really could do this, couldn't she?

"Alright, Cora," she said, pouring the popcorn into a bowl and setting it on the coffee table, "do you want me to do your nails now or later?"

"Now, please," Cora said happily as Rose pressed the play button. "Can you do them purple?"

Rose laughed, remembering the colour scheme of Cora's room. "I'm guessing purple is your favourite colour, eh?" she asked, grabbing a few tissues from a box on the table and situating herself on the rug and opening a bottle of metallic, lilac-coloured polish.

"It is," Cora replied enthusiastically.

As Rose painted first Cora's fingers then toes, they talked a lot about all sorts of things, with Rose letting Cora lead the conversation where ever she wanted to take it. At first they talked a little bit more about Jack, who was evidently a favourite topic of Cora's. Rose remembered being young and being infatuated with guys much more than twice her age, but she didn't think she was quite as young as Cora. After a while the conversation drifted to Cora asking questions about middle school and even high school, which at first was kind of surprising to Rose, but after a while she realized that she, too, had been curious about those things at a very young age.

A couple of times they sort of zoned out of conversation to watch the movie, and when they did talk it was mostly casual stuff- well, to Rose anyway. Of course these things probably seemed like pressing matters to Cora. Still, it was very much to Rose's surprise when Cora's voice took on a tone serious beyond her years and an expression that wasn't quite right on such a little girl.

"Rose," she said slowly, "do you have a mom?"

Great. Lovely. What the hell was she supposed to say to that? Why was Cora even asking that? God, what should she say? She fumbled around for an answer for a bit, staring at the ground.

Well, she did have a mother. That, at least, was truthful. So she could say it, right?

"I do," she said, choking on the words as they came out because she didn't even think of Ruth as being related to her anymore. "What makes you ask?"

Cora was silent for a little while, and she stared off into space, her eyes getting kind of narrow and tired looking. "I was just wondering, because my mom died when I was two. That's why my aunt Molly's here now. She came to help Daddy. Uncle Tommy, too. So I was just wondering."

Instantly Rose was reminded of the night last week when she and Jack had fallen asleep in each other's arms and she had realized that there were so many people who had it so much harder than she did. True, her mother might not even care about her, but at least she had her. At least she'd had her throughout her entire childhood. Rose knew how hard it was to lose a parent, but it would be so much worse to lose them so young.

"I'm sorry, Cora," she said, fully aware that that probably wasn't the right way to express that to a child, but not knowing what else to say.

Cora shrugged. "It's okay, I guess. I don't really miss her. I hardly even remember her."

That just broke Rose's heart. Sometimes she felt like it would just be easier to forget her mother, but would she really want that? And what if she forgot her father? What if she couldn't remember the way he laughed, the way he smelled, the way his smile reached his eyes every time his little girl was truly happy?

"My dad died when I was fourteen," Rose offered, as though it was any comfort. For some reason, she felt tears brimming in her eyes. She hadn't cried over her father in more than two years.

After a long time sitting in silence, Cora fell asleep curled up in the corner of the couch. As soon as the movie ended, Rose did her best to carry the little girl upstairs, which was really difficult but she eventually managed. Not knowing really what to do, Rose flipped through the TV channels and thought really hard about her dad- harder and longer than she had in a long time. She didn't notice at all as the minutes ticked past because she was unable to pull herself out of the past. She wished her dad was still here so badly- he would be proud of her, she just knew it. He would love Jack and support her no matter what, and she could just see him beaming down at his little grandchild in her arms. Jack would have really liked him, too.

Sometime after midnight, Mr. Cartmell arrived home. He offered to go with Rose back to her apartment just to be safe, but she said that she'd be fine and that she didn't want him to have to wake up Cora and drag her along with them. Instead, she walked four blocks to the subway station and got on. It was a pretty quick ride to the stop closest to her and Jack's apartment, and she was standing on the corner two blocks away in less than half an hour.

Rose had never really felt in danger in New York City, despite its reputation, because it really was the City That Never Sleeps. If she were ever to get into any sort of trouble, she figured she could just scream. That would surely get somebody's attention. Well, that was what she thought anyway. What Rose hadn't been counting on was the tingling sensation that ran up and down your spin, the way your stomach turned over and the shout stopped halfway up your throat the minute you felt a foreign hand on your shoulder. The only thing she could manage to do was turn around slowly in her spot, feeling as though her insides were frozen.

Because of the lights, it was still bright in New York at one in the morning- bright enough to recognize a face, even if you hadn't seen it in two weeks.

If it was possible, Caledon Hockley seemed even uglier to Rose now than he had before. His had pressed down hard on her shoulder and she could feel his hot breath running down her neck. She wanted to run in the opposite direction, but the only thing she could do was suppress the urge to vomit. His was contorted into a hideous snarl unlike anything she'd ever seen before.

With an ominous tone to his voice that told Rose she could easily be about to get hurt, he growled, "Why did you leave?"

**OMG CLIFFY!  
So, sorry for being a fail updater. Unfortunately, starting on July 6****th**** and going until July 21****st**** I am going to be a fail updater yet again because I have a job on the other side of the country. But, exams are over next week so that still gives me about a week and a half off during which time I hope to update both of my stories at least two or three times. Then, when I get home, I have all summer! :D I promise you I will update at least every Tuesday and Thursday during that time.  
Thanks for even bothering to review, by the way, since I'm such a fail.  
Love you!**


	21. Promise Me

Chapter Twenty-One

West 45th Street

With an ominous tone to his voice that told Rose she could easily be about to get hurt, he growled, "Why did you leave?"

What was she supposed to do? Wasn't there a specific thing to say in this situation that they teach you in ninth grade phys-ed? You weren't supposed to yell fire anymore; people have heard it too often. It was something about babies... You were supposed to yell that someone was hurting them, she thought... but then that could be wrong. Rose's mind was whirring away at thousand miles a minutes, and thoughts drifted in and out too fast for her to grab hold of them. The only thing that really stuck was the baby. What if he hurt the baby? Cal still had a strong grip on her shoulder, and it was beginning to go numb. Maybe she should just answer his question.

"Why did you leave?" he repeated, much more aggressively this time.

She had to say something... anything. Something to shock him into letting go of her, so that she could run. The words came out before she even knew she'd thought of them.

"Because I hate you!" Rose shouted. "Because I hate you, and if I stayed you would have made me get an abortion, and that's not fair to Jack. Jack loves me."

As hard as it had been to find something to say, once she did, Rose had to make a conscientious effort to stop herself from letting more words slip out and sounding like a babbling moron. She forced her mouth shut and looked Cal straight in the eye, as though telling him that she wasn't scared of him. There was nothibg he could do to her. Jack would be quite proud, she thought. Cal loosened his grip on her shoulder and Rose watched, almost in awe of herself, as the agression and hostility slid from his face, replaced by anger and something akin to jealousy. For a moment, he looked as though Rose had left him speechless. After what felt like quite a long time, he spoke again.

"Is this what you want to be?" he asked, slowly and very quietly. "A whore to a gutter rat?"

If he has said that to her a few months ago, Rose would have been angry and deeply hurt, but that was when she had to contend with him every day. That was when his opinion of her mattered and had bearing on her happiness. His opinion didn't matter anymore, and the truth was that even she was a whore for being with Jack, it was better than being stuck with Cal.

With a sudden rush of bravery that she didn't even she had, Rose declared loudly, "I'd rather be his whore than your wife!"

Cal's face twisted into a disgusting snarl and he reached out to grab her again. It probably would have been much more painful that time around, but Rose turned on her heel and ran as fast as she could in the other direction. Her breath grew heavier and heavier as she ran, and Rose felt moisture develop on her face, although she wasn't sure if it was sweat, tears or both. She sped down three blocks, moving faster than she could ever remember moving before in her life. The cold wind of October bit at her cheeks, turning them bright red. It was only when she ducked into the entrance of the apartment building and knew she was definitely safe from Cal that she let the reality of the situation sink in. She could have gotten hurt. The baby could have gotten hurt- or worse. All of a sudden, Rose felt the overwhelming sensation fill her entire body, and she slowly leaned back against the wall and allowed herself to fall to the ground. Curled up in the corner, knowing that she looked utterly pathetic, Rose felt the tears begin to come out, and before long her whole body was wracked with sobs.

The only thing she could think to do was call Jack. Her fingers quivered as she dialed the number of the work cell phone all of the employees at the art gallery were given. Rose continuted to sob as she brought the phone up to her ear, and after it rang three times Rose began to feel hopeless. What if Jack didn't answer? She couldn't be alone tonight- she just couldn't. She knew she couldn't make him leave work, but maybe he could make arrangements for someone to pick her up. Rose herself was too shaken to think of anything but reaching him, but he would be able to tell her what to do. As the phone continued to ring, Rose noticed that the floor underneath her was freezing cold. Being inside was really no change from being outside.

Finally, after what felt like forever, there was answer.

"Heller Art Gallery. Jack Dawson here."

"Jack!" Rose exclaimed, crying even harder at the relief of hearing his voice. Never in her life had Rose heard a more beautiful sound. She didn't want to tell him what happened, because it would worry him, so she said simply, "Jack, something happened. I need you, Jack."

There was a pause on the other line, and Rose tried to hold back her tears, but couldn't. She felt bad, knowing that now he was going to get all worked up.

"Rose? What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked, sounding urgent and really scared. "What happened? Is the baby okay?"

"The baby's fine," she managed through her tears, not knowing what else to say. "I'm... at that the apartment... I'm out front... I'm okay but... I can't stay here." Words were coming out of Rose's mouth without her really thinking about them, but she didn't even notice. In fact, she hardly even noticed that she was speaking at all; it was as though she was in a state of shock. All she was doing was waiting for Jack to say something; to find a way to solve her problem and to make everything okay.

All of a sudden, she had a flashback of the day that changed the lives of everyone in New York. She didn't know where it came from or why, but the memory was so vivid that she couldn't suppress it. Rose was eight years old the day the Twin Towers collapsed. She had been at school when it happened, and although the teachers tried their best to keep everyone calm and tell them nothing was wrong, Rose figured you could have heard the explosion in Connecticut. The school was on lockdown for a long time, and when they were finally allowed to leave, the kids' parents had to be there to pick them up. Rose hadn't cried like some of the other kids had, because she'd learned from her mother that crying was weakness, and that being weak was not good. You had to stand up and face the world, even when it was unkind to you.

When, from the foyer of the school, she had spotted her father waiting for her, that all changed. Rose clearly remembered running into his arms and bawling into his chest, afraid to let go because, even at such a young age, she now knew that the world was not a safe place to be. When she asked him what happened, he told her very clearly, and although she had been angry and scared and upset, she knew that it was going to be okay because her father had also told her about the firefighters who fought for hours to control the blaze, and the story of the man who saved his own life by stopping to by donuts for his son's class, thus making him late for work, and of the brave passengers who overtook the plane that was headed for the Pentagon and flew it into the ground. Because of her father, the day that shook the country taught Rose that there would always be more good in the world than bad. Jack reminded her of that every day

Thinking of that made her smile through her tears, even if it was just a little bit.

"Rose?" Jack asked, pulling her back to reality. "I need you to tell me what's wrong, Rose. Please Rose, talk to me."

She couldn't tell him what had happened; it would bother him too much. He didn't need the stress. Still shaking, Rose wiped her eyes and stammered, "I don't... I don't want to talk about now..."

"Rose," Jack demanded, "you have to tell me at some point."

Swallowing the lump in her throat and shutting her eyes tightly for a moment, Rose said, "I was walking home from the bus stop and... and... he found me. Jack, he found me!"

For a moment, there was silence on the other line. Rose could imagine Jack stopping dead in his tracks, knowing exaclty who she meant but not wanting to believe it- not being able to believe it. He was probably thinking the same thing she was- they were supposed to have left that behind them. They were supposed to be done with Cal and his ploys to get Rose back with him. He was supposed to be gone. This was their fairytale- he didn't have the right to snap the book shut like that. Just thinking that made Rose collapse into another fit of tears, which must seemed to prod the anxious words from Jack's throat.

"Cal?" he asked, although he already knew the answer. Just hearing that name made Rose want to throw up. "Oh, God. Okay, listen to me, Rose. You go inside the lobby and you sit down in a chair and you wait there, okay? I'm gonna call Tommy- he lives really close. I think Fabrizio's with him, too. They're gonna pick you up and take you back to the Cartmells', because that's the safest place in the city. Then I'm gonna call Mr. Cartmell and see if he can get someone to take the rest of my shift, and I'll try to be there within the hour, okay?... Okay?... Rose! Rose, talk to me!"

Rose pressed her hand to her face and nodded, although she knew Jack couldn't see her. "Okay," she said weakly, pulling herself to her feet and walking into the lobby as Jack had asked her to. He was absolutely amazing. Just hearing his voice and knowing that he would take care of it, she instantly felt more safe. Whiping away her tears, she repeated, "Okay, Jack. Thank you."

"I love you, Rose," she heard Jack say.

"Love you, too."

As Rose hung up from Jack, she pulled her knees up to her chest and briefly considering counting the seconds until Tommy and Fabri arrived, just to pass the time and keep her mind occupied. That got really dull after seventy-three seconds, though. With a heavy sigh, Rose closed her eyes and rested her hands on her still flat stomach. How lucky am I, she thought, that the both of us are okay.

Then, a thought struck her. They were okay this time, but what if there was a next time? Would they be so lucky? Rose felt as though just by thinking it, she was being stabbed in the heart, but it was true. Her being in this child's life was dangerous for it. As the little flame of a thought flickered in and out of her mind, Rose was both amazed that she hadn't thought of it before, and disgusted with herself for ever having thought of it in the first place. As heartbreaking as it was, it was true. This baby, and Jack as well, were probably better off without her in their lives. Rose felt as though her mind was made up of two opposing armies; one knowing that, if her mother and Cal didn't let up, it would be for the sake of the child if she left him or her with Jack and just returned home, and the other feeling that deep instinct that only mothers can understand of wanting nothing more than to be with your child for the rest of its life. Mere minutes ago Rose wouldn't have even considered leaving Jack, who she loved with her enire existance, and going back to Ruth and Cal, but that was before they were a threat to her baby's wellbeing.

This thought in and of itself brought a whole round of tears to Rose's eyes, and suddenly she felt very much alone. How strange was it that, just a floor above her, happy people with happy lives were sleeping fitfully while she sat here bawling. Why was it that every time things started to look up, they came crashing down? Why couldn't she just have a normal life? Why couldn't she be a normal teenager? Rose couldn't even recall the last time she had felt the way a seventeen-year-old should feel, and in fact, just reminding herself that she was indeed seventeen seemed so foreign that she laughed out loud.

"What do you think about that, baby?" she asked, rubbing her stomach gently as tears flowed freely down her face. "How would you like to live just with Daddy? Your daddy loves you very much, you know." _But so do I,_ she thought. _And I can't bear to be without you._ Memories of her previous life - fittings for that stupid cotillion dress, getting lectured by Cal about fractals and art, contending with her mother's every demand - popped in and out of her mind like flashbulbs, but stronger than all of them put together was the way she had felt dancing with Jack for the first time, learning what true love felt like. How could she leave something so wonderful for something so horrible?

After what felt like hours but was really only about twenty minutes, two figures that were shaped roughly like men but where covered in bulky coats to protect them from the cold of the autumn night burst through the door.

"_Bella Rosa_!" Fabrizio shouted, whipping his hood off and wrapping his arms around Rose, who barely had time to stand up before she was secured in his embrace. "Are 'a you okay? He did 'a no hurt you, right, _Rosa_?"

Rose's smile stood in stark contrast to her shaking body as she replied, "I'm fine, Fabri. Thank you so much!"

Fabrizio loosened his grip around Rose's waist, but still looked quite worried as Tommy asked, "Are ye sure yer alright, Rose? Jack said ye sounded real scared on the phone."

Rose smiled to herself. Jack would say that. His love for her never ceased to amaze Rose, and the fact that he would wake up his two best friends in the middle of the night to go pick her up proved his love for her even more.

"I promise, guys, I'm fine," she replied, wiping a stray tear from her face. She really did feel better now, because she wasn't alone anymore. "But if it's okay with you, I'd like to get out of here. I just don't feel right, you know... knowing he was so close."

Tommy nodded and grinned. Rose had decided since meeting Tommy that Irish people were some of the greatest people in the world, and she wished she knew more of them. "Not ter worry, Rose. There's a cab waitin outside fer us. Jack told ye he wanted us ter take ye to the Cartmells?"

Rose nodded and followed the two men outside. It was freezing, and the biting nip of the air reminded her of Cal's grip on her shoulder. As she slid into the cab, she closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to rid the image from her mind. The ride was completely silent, mostly because Rose was focusing all of her attention on forgetting what had just happened, and what she now understand to be the only way to keep her child safe. It killed her to think such a thing- just imagining the rest of her life without Jack and their child made her heart break, and as they drove, silent tears fell down her cheeks. It wasn't long before Fabri noticed this and rested a comforting hand on her shoulder, but Rose didn't even notice. All she could think was that she had to make these next few months with Jack count, because she really had no choice.

One thing Rose had never liked about the New York City skyline was that you couldn't see the stars. That had been the most magnificent thing about the night Jack had taken her out on Tommy's boat- for the first time in her life, she could see stars right in her hometown. That was one of the most magnificant things about Jack: he showed Rose all of the wonders that were in her own backyard, as long as you looked hard enough. She was going to miss that.

When the cab pulled up in front of the Cartmell's house, Tommy quietly handed the driver a fistful of bills while Fabrizio wrapped his arm around Rose and lead her onto the porch. He knocked quietly, so as not to wake up Cora, then turned to Rose.

"Is 'a gonna be okay, _bella Rosa_. Do not worry. You are 'a safe now," he said. Rose wanted desperately badly to believe him, but she knew that nothing was going to be the same anymore. It couldn't be.

The door swung open dramatically, which Rose thought was so fitting that she couldn't help but laugh through her tears. She was surprised to see the full, smiling face that she recognized as Molly Brown's standing in the doorway. She was dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt and had clearly just woken up not too long ago. Rose didn't know how or why she was here, and the only logical explanation was that Mr. Cartmell had called her to come and look after Rose. That was really nice of both of them, she thought.

Before Rose even had the chance to speak, Molly had pulled her in the doorway and enveloped her in a tight hug.

"Oh, Rose, I'm so glad you're safe!" she exclaimed. Rose was thoroughly impressed by this, considering she had only met Molly once before. "You come over and sit down on the couch, okay? I'm gonna go get you a blanket."

"Thank you, Mrs. Brown," Rose said with a smile as she was lead towards the couch. Only a few hours ago, she had been sitting her, painting Cora's nails and thinking how wonderful it would be to do that with her own daughter some day. How quickly things can change.

Tucking Rose's hair behind her ear as though she were a small child, the woman replied, "Oh, nonsense, dear. And please, call me Molly."

"Okay... Molly," Rose repeated, entirely unused to calling adults by their first name. As the older woman went off the find a blanket for Rose, Tommy, Fabrizio and Mr. Cartmell joined her in the living room. They all looked down at her, as though they were expecting her to say something that was going to completely blow there minds. What was she supposed to say? It wasn't even as though Cal had done anything, really. He hadn't hurt her or the baby, and he hadn't followed her when he ran off. It was really just the fact that knew where she was; that he could find her at any time. That meant that he was a threat to the life she and Jack had worked so hard to build, and that was what upset her the most.

Mr. Cartmell sat down on the couch next to Rose. He had always kind of reminded Rose of those typical TV dads, like the one in Lizzie McGuire and all the other shows she watched when she was little, which was really comforting sometimes. He reminded her of what a normal life should be like.

Smiling gently at her, he said, "You know, Rose, you can stay here as long as you like... Jack, too. I don't want you to feel like you're imposing on us, because all that matters is that you and your baby are safe. Sound good?"

"Sounds wonderful," Rose smiled, trying to hide that pain that she felt just thinking of her baby. "I really don't know how to thank you all."

Molly, who had just come back into the room carrying a comforter that looked as though it might be out of a spare bedroom, replied, "Just stay out of trouble and keep your chin up, Rose. That's thanks enough for us."

"_Si_," Fabrizio added, sitting down in am armchair. Tommy followed his lead and sat down on the loveseat.

For a moment, Rose felt the oddest sensation develop in her stomach. She suddenly felt very warm and cozy, and as though nothing in the world could hurt her. It took her a moment to place it, because it had been a long time since she'd had such a feeling. When she finally realized exactly where she'd been the last time she'd felt that way, tears welled up in her eyes and she had to fight to keep them back. It had been the day before her fourteenth birthday, when her parents had taken her to see the Statue of Liberty. She'd been there a million times, just like every other New Yorker, but it never really got old. On that day they had been such a team, such a strong unit. Nothing could even come close to the happiness they created when they were together.

It was the feeling of family- of being a part of something built entirely on love.

Just as she thought that, Jack burst through the door and ran over towards her, completely ignoring everyone else. Never in her life had Rose seen a face as beautiful as his was in that moment. In one sweeping motion, he had pulled her up from the couch and was holding her in his arms, running his fingers through her hair and kissing her over and over again. The warmth of his hands on her body was like pure bliss after the cold that was both outside the house and flowing through her body.

"Rose, why didn't you just let Mr. Cartmell drive you?" he asked, still kissing her. "Rose, you're so stupid! You're such an idiot, Rose! Why did you do that?"

She didn't answer- she didn't have to. Resting her head on his shoulder, Rose felt truly happy and comfortable for the first time in more than an hour. Being in Jack's arms made her feel more safe than anything else could. She vaguely wondered how he would take it when she broke the news to him. Hopefully he would understand- they had no other choice, really.

The couple embrace silently for a long time, until they were finally interrupted by Mr. Cartmell.

"Well, I think we've had enough excitement for one night," he said, with a slight laugh. "I want you two to stay in the guest room tonight, and for as long as you need. Here, I'll show you were it is."

Jack and Rose both thanked him quietly, although Rose already knew where the guest room was- Cora had shown it to her during her grand tour. Once they were alone upstairs, Rose rested her head on the pillow, unable to look Jack in the eye. Just thinking about it hurt so much that she could only imagine what it would feel like to vocalize her intentions. A shiver ran down Rose's spine as she's felt Jack's body press against hers.

"Are you okay, sweetheart? Really?"

"I'm fine," she replied coldly, a pensive look that was filled with sadness contorting her beautiful features.

Jack wrapped one arms around Rose's shoulders and laid the other on her stomach lovingly. "You know Rose, I was thinking- we need to get you away from him, for good. When I spoke to Mr. Cartmell on the phone, he said that we can stay here as long as we need to. I think that's a really good idea, Rose. It's so much safer here, and Mr. Cartmell could drive you to school on his way to work. We won't have to worry about Cal hurting you or our baby anymore. What do you say?"

Rose allowed her eyes to drift down to where Jack's hand rested, glad that he loved this baby so much. He was going to have to take care of her for the rest of her life. It was nice to think that they could get away from Cal for good, but Rose knew that the only real solution was going back to him for good.

"Jack," she said simply, "I can't stay with you anymore."

A look of shock passed over Jack's face, but it was instantly replaced by hurt and curiosity in equal amounts. Rose pressed on, virtually ignoring him. "I can stay for now, until the baby's born, but not any longer. I'd just be in the way, Jack, and you know it. I would have to go back home. I'm putting you in danger, and the baby, too. She would have to stay with you." They referred to the baby as a girl now- something they had just slipped into gradually, but it seemed to fit so well. That in itself was another stab at Rose's heart. She would never get to know her baby girl- or boy, either way.

"Rose, that's ridiculous!" Jack protested. "You know-"

"I know that you don't deserve the trouble I'm causing for you," she said, cutting him off. "I need to leave, Jack."

The time that they laid there, in absolute, stark silence, was surely the longest time in Rose's life. What was he going to say? Would he agree, which was the last thing she wanted him to do? Or would he find a reason- as small a reason as existed in the world would be good enough for her- for her to stay; a way of proving that she could be safe here? That was all she wanted to hear, but the odds of it happening were slim and Rose knew it.

Laying so close to Jack that she could trace every line and curve of his beautiful face, Rose wondered if that was what she would miss most of all- being so close to him, feeling his body heat, thinking that they could just as easily be one person. Surely they were one soul in two bodies. She felt a lump rise in her throat and tears well in her eyes as she thought back to all the times seeing his face had turned her whole world around- the night they first met; the night she didn't even want to think about, the next day in Central Park, after waiting for hours in school, which was just torture, and that night, as she walked down the staircase to see him practicing how he would speak to these people who were surely like aliens to him. He looked amazing that night- he always did. He _was _amazing. Part of Rose's mind told her she was crazy for even thinking about walking away from someone as amazing as him, but she knew it was the only option, and it had everyone's best interests at heart.

Finally, after what must have been a thousand years, Jack took her hand in his and spoke.

"Rose..." he stammers, as though that is all he can manage. "Rose, do you remember how we met? You were running away from Cal; you never wanted to see him again. I am so thankful for being there that night, Rose, and for saving your life. You made my world better than I could ever have imagined it being. I am never going to lose that, I guarantee you. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I'm going to be fine no matter what and so is the baby; it's you I'm worried about.

"I'm going to protect you Rose; I'm going to keep you safe. You don't need to worry about anything else. You just need to let me keep you safe. Promise me that, okay? Promise me that no matter what, you'll stay strong, okay? Don't cave in to this- that's what they want you to do. The want to make you think going back there is what's best, and then they'll have you in their pocket just like they did before. You have to be strong, Rose.

"Promise me."

For some reason - she would never really know why, besides the way he made her feel - she believed him.

"I promise."

**Look, guys, Fabrizio saved the day! I thought that would make a couple people very happy, anyways. :)  
I'm flying out tomorrow, so this might be the last you hear from me for the next three weeks. I want to take this opportunity to thank you all so much for reviewing each and every time, because it really does make me a better writer. I'm also sorry this chapter's a bit shorter than the other ones, but hey... good things come in small packages, and so does dynamite! ;)  
And aren't you just so glad they're gonna have their happily ever after after all? I know I am.**

**P.S. Has anybody seen Heavenly Creatures? I just saw it last week- AMAZING.  
AND, who's excited for Inception? :D**


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